For some reason, this got me a bit upset...

[RockyRoad]

Well, lemme see how to put this so it doesn't sound completely moronic...
Well, I tried.

OK, the other night I was at a sleepover with a few friends. We started talking about guys & boyfriends (which they all had boyfriends before), and one of my friends mentioned I hadn't ever had a boyfriend. I got really weird looks from all of them, and one person was even giggling. Then they started to get involved; why I hadn't gone out with a guy before, if my mom would let me, etc. It was hurtful & annoying at the same time.

Well today my friend asked this guy out, and he said yes. For some reason, I'm kinda upset. Not upset that she got a new boyfriend, don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her, but that if it was me that went up to him and asked him out, it would have been a flat-out NO. It is annoying when I talk to my friends they are all sitting on the laps of their boyfriends hugging and cuddling, with me, alone. I've been asked so many times why I hadn't gone out with a guy. Well, because nobody's ever asked me. I know I sound selfish, but I can't help it. It hurts to be "ugly" in the eyes of the guys in my school.

I'm sorry for getting all mushy and lovey, I just don't know who to talk to except my PT friends, everyone else has boyfriends and would take offence, or would just not care. I bet I sound really dumb talking about being sad because I've never had a boyfriend, or even a date. If you haven't had one, you're like such a loser in my school.
I remember creating a thread like this while back, and rambled on and on about me annoying everyone with my "on-going soap opera" about me being made fun of. But more importantly, I remember lots of PMs and posts supporting me and giving me the strength I lacked to have confidence in myself. That's why I turned to you (not to get attention and a lot of replies, but because I can trust you)

Anyways, needed to vent... It felt good too.

Britt

[primabella]

Don't feel bad, Britt. I feel the same way. I have a lot of guy friends but no one has really asked me out. The one year someone did, I wasn't interested and so I am still boyfriend-less. Ahhh it dosen't matter. It hurts to be the only one but don't let it get to you. Your what now - 13? Don't let something so grown up as dating get to you now. They usually don't work out when your this young anyway. They don't last too long at 16 either

Sorry I'm not too much help. Just don't let it bother you. And no one is ugly. Don't go telling yourself that that's the excuse for the boys in your grade. It's their loss.

[cali]

awwww, dont worry about it. I have naver been on a date either, I have been asked out, several times, but I dont trust people, I have always been the "loser" and the one who gets picked on, so I always say no, cuz its probly a joke but then I dont care about my looks, most of the kids at my school are really nice, and even the populare girls include me in their stuff I only know of 2 guys that have liked me in the passed, I could tell my the way they acted. one kid I really hated, liked me, this was obviose when I pushed him and he told everyone I had asked him out lol, and last year, another guy, but he transfered to another school, after the firts semester and this year, all the guys are going out with someone already, either that or they smoke, or do drugs ect.... now I would not mind the smoking if I was not allergic to ciggerette smoke anyway dont worry about it, it just means we will end up with a guy who truly likes us, instead of one that only considers looks

[slick]

I was in the same boat when I was in high school. My parents did not allow me to date until I graduated. At the time it did not seem to bother me too much because I considered myself to be the uglyduckling type and I was used to always being alone.

When I was 24 I met my boyfriend Al. We were together until 1987 when I found him sleeping with my ex best girlfriend. That ended quickly.

So now, I'm 50 and have been "boyfriend-less" since 1994 and I'm proud of it. I know now that in high school I was not ugly and neither are you. Don't let anyone try to convince you that having a boyfriend in life is a necessity. You are still young. Be independent and march to your own beat! When the time is right, someone will come along. In the meantime, be happy with your family and friends and good health!

[Andie]

Britt, honey, you are only 14 (i think... sorry I'm bad with ages) you have your whole life in front of you for guys. So what if you don't have a boyfriend (I know that's easy for me to say) singles have way more fun. Take it from me, I didn't have my first boyfriend til I was 16, I never felt like I would ever be good enough for a guy. I jumped at the first guy who asked me out and let him just be terrible to me because I thought he was the best that I could ever get. After we broke up (for the second time) I figured I would be alone forever becuase nobody would want someone like me. I moped for awhile then figure "screw it, it's the guys' loss" and went on with my life. I found a great guy when I least expected it.

I know how your feeling, Britt. I was there. The only thing I know to say is hang in there, life gets better, be careful who you give your heart to, and never forget what a great person you are. God knows when to send you your prince,knight-in-shining- armor.

[ramanth]

I was 18 before I started dating.

At 14 I had other things on my mind other than boys. Don't worry about not having a boyfriend. Most boys only have one thing on their mind at that age and it leads to babies.

Just be content with having friends and what you do have. If certain people tease you about not having a boyfriend then they don't sound like very good friends.

*hugs*

[4 Dog Mother]

You are probably not going to appreciate this advice from an old lady but you are only 13 and that is really young to start dating. Those girls that are kissing and cuddling with guys at your age could be on there way to getting more than they want. Have fun with other girls your age - don't waste your time worrying about how this guy or that guy feels about you. When you are older, you won't even remember those boys.

Some of those girls who are so "pretty" will be the last ones to get married. A guy at 13 may think they want the prettiest girl but an older guy wants someone who knows how to care about others. Since you have pets, you are showing responbility that will only add to your personality.

You said your friend asked a guy out - how many of your friends have done the asking - boys that age can be just as shy as the girls so it is not necessarily that no boys like you. They may be the boys who are as afraid of rejection as you are.

Start some self talk about the good person you are. Self esteem is important and you are a very special young woman or you would not be sharing yourself with others as you do here at Pet Talk.

[Cataholic]

Britt,
I am sorry you feel bad about this. Prolly nothing we say will change that, but I hope it helps a little bit. Think of ALL the things in this world that you have going for you. Take them ALL away, and in that HUGE empty space, put a boyfriend. Take away your family, your schooling, your pets, your girlfriends, the fun things you like to do, your health, your faith, take it all away. Now, put a boyfriend right there in the middle of it. I don't think you would find yourself very happy or satisfied with the trade, would you? It only 'hurts' now because it is ONE of the things you don't have right now....and really, it is a blessing in disguise.

Ramanth is right. MOST boys have one thing on their minds right now, and it is NOT your best interest, your happiness, your life, your goals/dreams. It is a pretty rare 'relationship' that makes it longer than 3 months at the age you are right now. Figure you are just sparing yourself the heartache, drama, gossip, etc.

Smile when your girlfriends make comments, ignore them, leave the topic alone. IF they are serious, and not just teasing you, you need to find new girlfriends. Be there when their life turns upside down because some immature 14 year old little boy breaks their heart cause he thought so and so was 'cuter'....find other things to focus on..cause no matter whatelse you find to focus on, I KNOW it will be more important, meaningful, worthwhile, better for you than a boy friend right now can ever be.
Hugs...

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Britt-
Hey girl! Well- DONT FEEL BAD!!!!! I feel the same way.

It hurts to be "ugly" in the eyes of the guys in my school.

I feel the same way... I do have an online boyfriend, and it makes things a little better, but not much because I like the feeling of someone I like being around me.

But anyway, please please don't feel bad. I feel the exact same way cuz at our school, we have "preps" or the popular kids. I swear to god this one girl has had over five boyfriends THIS TRIMESTER!!! It drives me insane!!!!

Your so smart, it's okay to not have a boyfriend yet, and most parents would probably say the same... *You don't need a boyfriend yet you need to focus on school...* Blah blah blah... the usual.

Your so much prettier than me. Someday it will come.. Don't WoRrY!!!!

[Jesus Freak!!!!]

dont worry britt!!! i have never been asked out, i dont want to be. i dont want to do that because i just am not ready. i think i would totally blow it. sure, sometimes i feel like you, but dont let it get to you. at this age the boys are too imature to take anything seriously!!! dont wish so hard, before you know it, your life will be gone!!! i am with you all the way!!! you sound like a nice person, dating is only one part of you life. and it is not a race to see who gets the boyfriend, i bet you want to marry, so wait to you meet a nice guy and YOU make the move, it is not against the law for the girl to make the move. hope this helps!!!!

[RockyRoad]

Thanks everyone.
I'm definetly considering my friends carefully. I have met more friends this year, who I would like to be closer with and hang out with more.
I guess you're all right, it's not important. I'm just upset that my best friend now is going out with a guy, and if it goes well I may not see her as often, or when I do, wth her b/f.
Thanks for the help everyone.

[Jesus Freak!!!!]

welcome!!!!!

[HoRsELUvR]

dont worry about it.i know how you feel.im not exactly the most popular girl in school,but guys have liked me.they just dont tend to ask me out.

[bluekat]

Awww, don't feel bad, I feel the same way. Nobody asked me out before either. I still think that we're still to young( I'm 13 too). The grade eights in my school all have boyfriends, well, some of them. In my school, I think its pretty hard to get into a relationship, people are too shy to ask and stuff. Even at school dances, only the older kids dance. ONLY.
Anyways, I sill think we're too young. I'm going to wait until at least I'm 14 or 15 to start dating, if I get a boyfriend. But now, it doesn't matter, because we're still young, and I'm positive that there are some guys out there that like you. But I know how you feel, when all your friends ask you why you haven't dated before. I know it must be very embarrassing. I don't know why, but I hate when people ask me if I had a boyfriend before, it just annoys me. Just ignore them if they ask why, like how do you tell them exactly why.
I'm glad that you decided to tell us your problems, just remember, we're always here for you
*hugs*

[primabella]

Originally posted by FloppsyLadySally89

Thanks everyone.
I'm definetly considering my friends carefully. I have met more friends this year, who I would like to be closer with and hang out with more.
I guess you're all right, it's not important. I'm just upset that my best friend now is going out with a guy, and if it goes well I may not see her as often, or when I do, wth her b/f.
Thanks for the help everyone.

I know kinda how you feel. For about ten years my best friend and I have known eachother and people have asked us out (well mostly her) but we're not interested or whatever. But now its like, I hear her talking about a guy asking he rout and I feel a bit worried that I might not see her anymore. lol I know it's silly but I just do