Stupid product warning labels

[Lady's Human]

We joke about how silly some of the warnings are, but the one I saw this morning takes the cake.

From a canister of coffee creamer:

Warning: Like many powdered products, this product should not be used near an open flame or stored near a high heat source.


Really? Whodathunkit?

And I thought the warnings in my chainsaw manual were a joke.

[Jessika]

Well, sadly, those warning labels are there for a reason.... someone, somewhere, is the reason why many of the labels grace products... no common sense, some people!

[RICHARD]

powdered creamer, just like sawdust and the dust in grain silos, is wickedly flammable/explosive.

Being the kind of person that has to see it for myself?

I put a candle on the driveway and sprinkled it with CC.....

Fun, fun, fun!

-------------------------

Someone was probably sitting in a diner smoking a ciggie w/their morning coffee?

[sparks19]

one of my favorites is the list of "DO NOT"s at the gas station.

"do not syphon by mouth" really? we have to tell people to not put their mouths on the gas pump and suck the gas out? yikes lol

[cassiesmom]

Wait a second- I'm thinking of the office lunch room here. The coffee creamer (powder) comes in a plastic bottle, which is kept in a basket next to the coffee machine. The coffee maker is - uhmmm - a heat source.

Sign on exit door: "This door is alarmed from 7:00 PM to 7:00 AM." Yeah, and during the day the door is fearless.

PTers, you didn't know when you posted that I was going to need a good laugh today. But I did, and I'm glad you gave it to me! I do feel better now!

[pomtzu]

Rectal suppositories - warning "do not take by mouth".

[Randi]

I have to bump this up... one that John posted.

Warnings written on military Genuine warnings written on military equipment and publications:

"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S. Army

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F.Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it.
That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal

"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance
"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." -Infantry Journal

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - Col. David Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once."- Anon
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Army Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Unknown

(And lastly) "If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." - U.S.A. Ammo Troop

[phesina]

Not only are there people out there brain-impaired enough to do such things.. there are loads of lawyers out there who will happily SUE the companies for not having warned their clients not to do the stupid things!

[Lady's Human]

I have to bump this up... one that John posted.

Warnings written on military Genuine warnings written on military equipment and publications:

"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

Yep, right in the middle of the launcher tube on an M-72 Light Antitank Weapon.

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it.
That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

From a mid-vietnam era issue when they were first fielding the weapon. A chief I knew had that page framed.

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay

The counterpoint to that one is "No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat"

My favorite military humor quotes are from the Germans and the Russians:

German staff officer post WW2:

The reason the American Army is so good at war is war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.

From a Russian LT's notebook:


One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine, is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine...

[smokey the elder]

Love the military quotes. I'm surprised "No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy!" isn't there.

[Edwina's Secretary]

My sleeping pills caution "May cause drowsiess."

I hope so.

[Catlady711]

Actually my favorite actual warning is from a hair dryer...."do not use while sleeping" ummm does that mean no hair fixing while sleep walking? lol

My true favs are the misspellings and mistranslations. I have personally seen these two on my own stuff....

(from an inflatable air mattress) Wash with warm SOUP and water. (hmmmm chicken noodle, or tomato?)


(on another hair dryer) Warning, appliance is electrically live even when the WITCH is off (so broomstick or no she's deadly? lol)

[Jessika]

Actually my favorite actual warning is from a hair dryer...."do not use while sleeping" ummm does that mean no hair fixing while sleep walking? lol

Actually, I saw once on one of those "Addiction" shows, a girl who COULD NOT sleep without a hairdryer blowing on her/her feet (can't remember if it was her feet specifically or her in general).

[FeatheredMonkey]

There are warnings on some of the equipment I work on that has something to do with "turning off motors prior to changing belt"

I wonder what it took to figure that one out!!!

[Randi]

Two other good ones that John posted:

I have a tape recorder, and the manual starts by stating: “This tape recorder has almighty functions”

I have a little paper knife. The warning on it states: “Warning, this knife is very sharp. Keep out of children”