Dilemma: Adopted a cat, now former owner wants him back

[emily_the_spoiled]

Hi everyone,

I would like to ask your opinion ... last night someone phoned me and asked for my advice but I didn't know what to say.

Last week she adopted this deaf cat (about 11 months old) from a woman who was living with her boyfriend. The boyfriend said he was to loud so he had to go. Well the woman made the heart breaking decision to give up the cat (Cookie). But it now seems that she has decided the cat was better than the boyfriend and she left him. Unfortunately now she wants Cookie back. My friend said that she felt the woman would take good care of him (she has two other cats) and will not get back together with the ex-boyfriend, but she has grown attached to Cookie and doesn't want to give him back. She has only had Cookie for a week and he is not integrated into the house with the rest of the cats.

I was the wrong person to ask, because I understand both sides of the story and I am not sure what I would do in this situtation.

What would you do?

[Karen]

Because the new cat has not yet integrated in with her cats, I'd say have a heart-to-heart with the woman, and make sure she's not gonna let the boyfriend back in. Then I'd return the cat, but ask for updates now and then, just to reassure myself he's okay.

[smokey the elder]

What I recommend is that she could have the option to visit the cat, and if it doesn't work out in its new home, maybe she could have the cat back.

[happylabs]

I am not sure what I would do but I have to say the lady made the right choice in ditching the loser boyfriend!

[catmandu]

Thats a tough one to call.
If your friend had had Cookie longer than a week, and her other Cats were pals, I would say no.
Bit there should be guarantees that the boyfriend is not coming back, and your friend should have the right to be called first , if anything happens with Cookie.
We are praying all that be well with Cookie, come what may.

[Medusa]

That's a toughie. I'd be concerned that she might find another guy who didn't want the cat and she'd give him up again, only this time to someone else and you wouldn't know how it's doing. The visitation rights thing wouldn't work for me.

[moosmom]

Nope. How do you know she WON'T go back to the jerk. Medusa said it best. I'd give her visitation, but no. She doesn't deserve the cat. Also, how do you know she won't hook up with another jerk who doesn't like cats.

Possession is 9/10's of the law. If you have vet bills with the cat's name and your name on it, she has no recourse.

It would be like me wanting Carly the Curly Girl back. Sure, I miss her desperately, but I know she's in a good place.

[Edwina's Secretary]

What I recommend is that she could have the option to visit the cat, and if it doesn't work out in its new home, maybe she could have the cat back.

I agree with you. She left the guy and probably is feeling a bit blue. Plus, as your friend knows she would take good care of him that leaves your friend with the room to take in another cat who needs a home!

[carole]

I actually think she does deserve to have him back, we all make mistakes and bad decisions in our live's, she obviously made one when she gave Cookie up, she deserves another chance,i certainly would make some rules regarding the cat though, maybe the visitation thing would be a start and take it from there.

[emily_the_spoiled]

Hi everyone,

Thank you for your input. I have sent a link for this thread along to the person who is suffering this dilemma. I am not sure what she is planning on doing, but then again I am not sure what I would do in this situation either.