I need PT help really really bad - I don't want him to die :(

**king2005** · 11-15-2006, 01:59 PM

Chad has lung cancer. He was went through chemo about 2yrs ago.. Well its back... Today he woke up & cannot see out of his left eye.

He wont go to the dr.!! I've been trying to slowly talk him into going for a month now, with no luck.

I love Chad like I do a family member. I lost my childhood friend to Cancer when we were 21. Chad is only 20yrs old & I don't want to loose another friend so young to cancer! My friends father died late last week to lung cancer...

I need that PT spirit to help me convince Chad to go to the hospital tonight!!

I'm going to try to make him when I get home, but hes so stubborn, depressed & stressed.

I need the strength to help him fight this, please help me!! I'm trying so hard not to cry here at work.

**carole** · 11-15-2006, 02:25 PM

Oh sweetheart I am so sorry to read this about your friend, do persuade him to go to the hospital if you can, has he had chemo and the usual treatments,? try and think positive thoughts about your friend and I am sure some PT prayers will go a long way in giving you some comfort, know i am thinking of you and understand how distressed you are right now, HUGS and love from me, and I sure hope Chad will have the strength and courage to beat this.

**borzoimom** · 11-15-2006, 02:39 PM

I have a friend whos husband has cancer too. I could pm you with their email address, but as the doctors told him- its there whether you acknowledge it or not- so we need to do something about this and "kick it"...

**kimlovescats** · 11-15-2006, 09:15 PM

Prayers for you and your friend!!!! I hope he will get to the doctor soon!

**K9karen** · 11-16-2006, 01:54 AM

Having cared for 2 parents who refused to go to hospitals when needed, my solution was calling 911.

What about his parents? Family members also? Can't see? Geesh, take the hint, Chad. Cancer is no longer a death sentence whether this is his second bout or not. Early detection is a must. Nobody wants to go through chemo and tests and shots, but it sure beats the alternative!!! Get him in your car and drive him to the hospital, even if you have to bind and gag him. C'mom Chad!!!!!

**ramanth** · 11-16-2006, 10:06 AM

I have no advice as I deal with a stubborn guy myself. I hope you can convince him to go to the doctors.

**Pawsitive Thinking** · 11-16-2006, 10:37 AM

If you've tried begging, pleading, threatening him and bullying then I would suggest you refuse to help him until he helps himself.....

**cyber-sibes** · 11-16-2006, 03:09 PM

You can keep urging him to go, but if he decides not to, are you willing to stand beside him through this? He will need good friends like you. I will, however, pray he gets his but to the doctor asap.

(I ask because I recently lost a friend to cancer - she decided she didn't want to go through chemo, even knowing she would probably die without it. Her family honored her choice, though many disagreed with it)

**Catty1** · 11-16-2006, 03:39 PM

Hook him up with www.wellspring.ca

They have centres all over ON, and are worth checking out! For Cancer patients, families and friends.

They might be able to help you as well.

Risky - but telling him how selfish his lack of action is (re: you and friends and family) might be a slap he needs. But you know him best.

HUGS

**king2005** · 11-17-2006, 12:32 PM

Sorry I haven't replied sooner. I had a fever wed night & all of thur... Chad said I was so hot I burned his skin.. Chad slept in my part of the bed to make sure I was ok... so ya, yesterday sucked.. but all is well.

I have some good news, Chad called the Dr. to see how to fix the problem. They said it sounded like a pinched nerve due to stress (which he is under a lot of, with his wedding coming up in 2 weeks)... The Dr. told him to sleep it off in the dark. So he did. Most of his vision returned but it was blury. At dinner time he cracked his neck & had full vision. I was sooo releved!!!

His family has no idea that he has cancer. He dissapeared to get his chemo treatments about 2yrs ago. He doesn't want to tell his family cause they wouldn't care anyways (they aren't all that loving towards him, because hes gay), & they would blame it on him being gay. Very few people are coming to the wedding because they are all homophobes

I was thinking this morning on a plan of attack. I think I'll wait until after his wedding (to avoid causing more stress), to force him to see a Dr. I plan to use Andrew as my weapon some how. I want to say something like what kind of husband would not love his husband enough to seek treatment, that could save his life. I also plan to use Gwyneth as a weapon aswell. Hes not her Bio. father, but he is her father. He loves that child & I know that if I use Andrew & Gwyneth together I might get further in getting him to seek treatment.

Yes I'm willing to be with Chad when he's going through chemo. I'll be talking to HR when the time comes to be able to work from home, so I can nurse Chad back to health. I even have no problems holding him while he cries, or holdin ghis hand while hes being poked. I went to the hospital with him earlier & I stayed by his side the whole time. I know hes scared of hospitals & has good reason.

I've always been a mother hen to people I care about, its in my nature.

**lizbud** · 11-17-2006, 12:46 PM

Okey, dokey

**carole** · 11-17-2006, 09:53 PM

Gosh how terribly sad, are you sure his family would not care, you might be suprised, even he might be, but i understand what you are saying, and you know sometimes wonderful close friends like you are to chad mean far more than family, you can't choose your family but you sure can your friends.

Is there a chance that the chemo has worked for Chad and he may go into remission with even a full recovery? I ask because i recently saw a programme on the telly ,that here in little ole NZ we have a discovered a new trial drug, new type of chemo, that is obviously in trial stages only and the results are just simply amazing, it blows you away, and lung cancer was one it had been trialed on, don't want to give anyone false hope, but i wonder if there is a chance Chad might be eligible for this drug, it would depend on how far on his cancer is I suppose, anyhow you are a great friend, and i know you will be there for him through thick and thin, i wish there were more people in the world just like you, what a better place it would be, HUGS to you both and I sure hope you can persuade him to get medical help. GOOD LUCK and all the best to both of you.