I need a friend

**mina'smomma** · 05-10-2006, 11:01 PM

My life is coming to darkness. I can't seem to pull myself out of this depression and not even my psychiatrist can help. Back in January I found out that because of the birth control patch I basically can't have any children. My husband and I wanted a baby so bad. I was doing alright after we lost Amylynn, but this is like another slap in the face. I feel like such a loser and a failure. I want to lash out at my friends when they come over with their children or call to tell us they're having a baby. I hate they way I feel, but I can't seem to shake.

Anyway sorry to disturb everyone I just needed to talk.

**Karen** · 05-10-2006, 11:05 PM

Oh, sweetie, have you thought about adoption?

I know it hurts right now, I know it. I'll PM you. But we love you, and hope that you get a second opinion, and are given hope. If you cannot give birth, maybe there's a baby out there who needs the love you can give it? That's a personal decision, of course, but I some wonderful people who were adopted and are as close to their adoptive parents as anyone I know - and even closer to them than many biological children I've encountered.

**BOBS DAD** · 05-10-2006, 11:11 PM

Originally Posted by Karen

Oh, sweetie, have you thought about adoption?

I know it hurts right now, I know it. I'll PM you. But we love you, and hope that you get a second opinion, and are given hope. If you cannot give birth, maybe there's a baby out there who needs the love you can give it? That's a personal decision, of course, but I some wonderful people who were adopted and are as close to their adoptive parents as anyone I know - and even closer to them than many biological children I've encountered.

YES... YES, I agree. Please do not despair. You are NOT a Failure! And yes, things can change so quickly. Think ahead... to better times. The old adage is really true, "Things always get worse before they get better". So you've been through the worse, the better is just on the horizon. Think about adoption if you really, really want children. ALL children are easy to love. They just "pull" the love out of you. Karen's advice is quite good and yes, you are loved here at PT!!!

**Catty1** · 05-10-2006, 11:43 PM

Oh Mina - hugs hugs hugs!

Psychiatrists are medical doctors who specialize in mental illnesses, just like a cardio doc specializes in hearts.

I wonder if a lot of love and support from others who have been there would help!

You are loved and supported here!

Also, call a women's shelter or crisis line, or your doctor, and see if you can locate a support group for women that are dealing with not being able to have a biological child of their own. Don't keep isolated!

AND - a second opinion never hurts!

hugs hugs hugs
Catty1

**jenluckenbach** · 05-11-2006, 05:18 AM

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

Please continue to try to get someone to help you out of this feeling. Sometimes you just can't do it on your own.

In the mean time, know this: It is NOT your fault!!. There is always a reason for each thing that happens in this life. You just need to keep an open mind to be able to see your path.

Remember.........You have friends and you are LOVED.

**Pawsitive Thinking** · 05-11-2006, 06:07 AM

I'm sorry you are feeling so low. You have loads of friends here, waiting to help in any way we can

**ramanth** · 05-11-2006, 08:14 AM

Oh Renae. *HUGS*

I'm so sorry you and Lee Roy are going thru this. There are other avenues though. Have you considered adoption?

Andy and I have already discussed this as my doctor told me I may not be able to concieve. Nature can be cruel, but it's no reason to not go on living and not give a child a chance at a happy home.

**mina'smomma** · 05-11-2006, 08:17 AM

Thanks everyone. I've been to four other doctors and they all concur with my inital doctor. Adoption is too expensive for us to pursue, and not only there are some small things that bar us from adopting right now.

**Samantha Puppy** · 05-11-2006, 08:19 AM

What happened with the patch that rendered you unable to have children? That isn't supposed to happen! Is there any way you could pursue legal action against the maker of the patch you wore? Then maybe adoption wouldn't be out of the question...

**Cataholic** · 05-11-2006, 08:30 AM

It sounds like you are still grieving the loss of Amylynn, and that may take so long to recover from. I wonder if a bereavement group might be of some help? It is easy for me to say, "don't worry, it gets better", but, I know from personal experience those words are absolutely meaningless.

However, YOUR life is not meaningless. That needs to get through to your poor grieving heart.

May you find comfort, somehow.

Hugs,
Johanna

**king2005** · 05-11-2006, 11:38 AM

Originally Posted by Samantha Puppy

What happened with the patch that rendered you unable to have children? That isn't supposed to happen! Is there any way you could pursue legal action against the maker of the patch you wore? Then maybe adoption wouldn't be out of the question...

I have to agree 100% here.

I was on the patch for 2yrs & I was told that there is nothing to worry about. Now you have me worried! My chances of having ababy are already low, but if the patch has made it worse, then I don't know what I'll do

Please let us know what went wrong & sueing sounds like a good idea, then you can adopt a little one

**mina'smomma** · 05-11-2006, 12:13 PM

Originally Posted by king2005

I have to agree 100% here.

I was on the patch for 2yrs & I was told that there is nothing to worry about. Now you have me worried! My chances of having ababy are already low, but if the patch has made it worse, then I don't know what I'll do

Please let us know what went wrong & sueing sounds like a good idea, then you can adopt a little one

With all the law suits against that patch right now I would be clumped in with them and they payout would be less then what I would spend on an attorney. According the specialists I've seen the hormones from the patch damaged my ovaries.