My son is leaving.....

[carole]

My oldest child Scott who is 25 this year is leaving us yet again, he has been back home for over two years upon his return from the UK, but now he is leaving this city to go to the big smoke Auckland.

He has been seeing a lovely girl for over five months now, and they have decided to move in together, he just had to secure himself a new job, which he did, first job he applied for he got, so he is very happy, will be more responsibility and a little more pay, which he will need as it is more expensive to live there.

Next weekend we will take a trip up there to meet his girlfriend Amber for the first time, i have been emailing her and getting to know her a little, she seems lovely, Amber is 22 this year and a primary school teacher in her first year, she has one older sister and sadly lost her mother when only nine years old to cancer, she is half south african.

So although i am so happy for him, i am sad too, i will miss my lad terribly, even though he will only be two hours drive away, travel is not something i can do easily, i will have to rely on him to come home more often, my sister and family are in Auckland too and he has a couple of mates there, so all in all should be a positive move for him.

Just wanted to share this happy event. Thanks for listening.

[Karen]

Congratulations to him for the big changes in his life, and condolences to the family, as we know you will miss him, even though you wish him the best!

[lbaker]

Now you not only have your dear son to love, but perhaps someone else that will make your heart grow stronger and bigger. Two hours away is some peoples commute to work, you will be just fine.

[Killearn Kitties]

Aww, I'm sure you will cope with it, Carol. This sounds like a great move for your son. I wish him all the very best.

[finn's mom]

Carole, you'll just have to pm me more when you get bored cuz he's not around. I'm sure you will be fine, and, he sounds like he's making a fantastic move for himself! I wish him the best of luck in his new adventure! Amber sounds like a lovely girl, too!

[carole]

Thanks all, yes Amber does sound lovely indeed, she was worried we would hate her for taking scott away from his family, i said no way i am not loosing a son but gaining a daughter which is how i really think of it, and she was very happy.

Yes it is a good move for my boy, his new job is warehouse/purchasing supervisor, so it is a promotion and indeed lots more responsibility, which i think he is ready for, he is a capable lad, and needs the challenge.

Of course it is sad for me as well, but hey they have to spread their wings, and besides he has a lovely young lady in his life who loves him and cares for him as much as i do , so that is very comforting for a mother.

They are both going to Rarotonga for a week in october as Ambers only sister is getting married there, so that is exciting, first trip overseas for Amber,will be a nice relaxing holiday for them both.

[finn's mom]

Carole, you are going through what my parents are going through, too. Maybe I should give you my mother's email address. She's sad that I'm not home with her, but, happy that I have someone that loves me and takes care of me. It's a trade-off she's willing to make. As I see you are, too. I love good mothers! And, you're making me miss mine even more!

[carole]

Kari it is the price us parents have to pay sooner or later, and Kari believe it or not it is a grieving process of a kind , because it is a loss, even if it is a good one if you get my meaning, i went through it when he went to the UK and it was awful, but hey i got through it, just imagine what it will be like when my youngest and only one left leaves for good.

Your day will come oneday when you have children of your own,it is inevitable, it must be harder for your mother as you are further away i think than Scott will be, he is only 2 hrs away , so that is not too bad, and even though i cannot travel a lot due to health reasons, he can always come down here, he reckons he will be down at least once a month.

I have a very special bond with Scott, because i raised him alone for ten years,so we are close.

I have to say i am sad but excited too, as i am really looking forward to meeting his special lady, and she sounds so sweet, i think we will really get on well, even though she is not especially fond of cats, one big drawback, but hey we can overcome that, if he is happy then i am happy too, there is always a sense of inner peace within a mother when their child finds their life partner.

Feel free to send me your mothers email address if she would like to chat, more than happy to

[BOBS DAD]

Dear Carol,

I too know what you are going through. Even though I am just a "lowly" father, I miss my son. But I miss him, even when he is home. He is attending college just an hour away at the University of Pitt on an academic scholarship. He is now home and is my best bud... but, he's no longer my boy. He's a man. Yes, he's my son and a loving one indeed, but I miss the little boy who used to ride on my shoulders. Would go for a ride with anywhere - just for company. Fished with me, hunted and played ball. The little boy who would stand at the front door with a bat in his hand and watch for my car to come down the street. We would play in the yard until it was too dark to see. As he grew, he changed but our bond remained strong. As college approached, he was heavily recruited by many fine institutions, because as you see he was an exceptional student graduating 2nd in a class of 400, with unbelievable college tests scores (1500 SAT's for Americans) but he was also an exceptionally talented athlete - a baseball player to be exact.

It broke my heart to see that he had decided that his baseball days were through as he pursued his academic future. It was hard for me to remain silent and allow him to make this very personal decision, as I knew that this was "his time" and "his decision" to make. When he finally decided to accept Pitt's academic scholarship, he told me quite appropriately, "my future is not on a baseball field", it's in the academic arena.

You see, I had the sobering realization that my son was totally making the right decision and that he was now a man... and that he was going to be making most if not all of his decisions from this point on.

I MISS MY BOY!!!

[K9karen]

]Well Carol he sounds like a wonderful gentleman, caring and hardworking who will be great at his job and a perfect companion. I can't wait for you to meet his lady. You did good. lady! As much as you'll miss him terribly, you should be peacock proud of him! It sounds like you've done an awesome job raising him!

[finn's mom]

and Kari believe it or not it is a grieving process of a kind

Your day will come oneday when you have children of your own,it is inevitable, it must be harder for your mother as you are further away i think than Scott will be

even though she is not especially fond of cats, one big drawback,

Feel free to send me your mothers email address if she would like to chat, more than happy to

Oh, I know it's a grieving process, it is for me, too. My mother is my best friend, even though, because we are so close and SO much alike, we do get on eachother's nerves. We have talked every day since I moved out here, and, I am happy for that.

I know I'll have children one day and have to go through the process of letting them leave the nest. I'm looking forward to it because it will hopefully mean that I've done a good job and that they're ready for it! And, yeah, I'm sixteen hours away from my mom and dad, I'd kill to be two hours away! I hope he's able to visit as often as he's wanting to.

And, that's funny...David's not too fond of cats, either. It is a drawback for me, too, although I don't have cats, now. I wanted them again. But, he loves his dogs so much that I may just be able to live without cats. Probably not.

And, you are sweet...I am surprised you would take me up on that offer to chat with my mom, and, I don't know how truly email savvy she really is, hahahaha, but, I will let her know she may have a new pal! I wish I could give you both hugs right now!

[Mo Mo's Mum]

Hi Carole

Just a wee word of Comfort from a fellow Kiwi bird I am at the other end of the spectrum I live in CHCH ( Christchurch in case people wanted to know) and my parents have just moved to Wanaka not too far I admit only 4 or so hours but comming from a close family it has been a bit of a wrench

I am sure it will work out well for your son and family but can understand the feeling of loss keep smiling and Kia Kaha

I understand that 2 hours to those in larger countries can seem a small ammout but that here it can be massive especially if you consider that only 20% of our roads are sealed but remeber our no 8 fencing wire and Man alone spirit if Sir Ed can knock the bastard off you can make it to Auckland ! as we are fond of saying Sweet As, not a problem Mate !

Just to let you in on a wee secret from the " Kid " perspective the ties stay as strong as ever so don't worry about that but as a supposed adult ( am 30 in less than 2 months) you don't like to admit that you miss your Mum and Dad and shed a few homesick tears about it and miss all the stuff that only Mum can do for you ! the food, caring for you as only Mum can and knowing what you should do no matter how old you get ( although we may not admit it at the time) and did I mention the home cooked meals nothing quite like it really

Your new prospective " Out Law" as they are called in my family sounds lovely ! I am sure she is looking forward to having a Mum figure/friend again

Let us know how they are getting on

Sarah

[carole]

Thank you everyone i got a real kick out of reading your replies, Bobs Dad, Kari and Mo Mo's mum, especially,I just found out his girlfriend Amber will be going to South Africa for a week in December , she will be visiting her mothers grave for the first time and meeting her family, her mother died of cancer when Amber was only nine years old, this is something she expressed to me in an email how much she wanted to go there, so she will be so excited, and all expenses paid trip to with her sister and uncle.

Guess my boy can always come home for a week, see every cloud has a silver lining he he.

It's all good, even though i will miss him, i feel excited for him as well, it really is a new stage in his life isn't it