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Hi everyone...
Since it's Time for the Christmas Pageant....You all can order what ever you want......Isn't that what the season is all about???:)
So, let us begin.....
On the outskirts of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, a couple wandered around looking for a place to hang out until the Ball Drop in Times Square.....;)
The donkey they were leading was still worn out from his trip down the Grand Canyon on his last field trip and he was getting very weary and just wanted to rest......
one hot toddy please....
Laurie.....why don't you curl up on the couch by the fire with your special blankie. Sweet Toddy is on his way. LOL
Here's the santa suit, I hear that David is wearing it this week. Are you an elf Richard? Can I be an angel you've heard on high??
They stopped at the local Holiday Inn, but alas, there were no rooms to be had...
cherry root beer, onion rings, and 4 cat nip teas, please?
:D
Quote:
Originally posted by momoffuzzyfaces
They stopped at the local Holiday Inn, but alas, there were no rooms to be had...
cherry root beer, onion rings, and 4 cat nip teas, please?
:D
The innkeeper (that's ME!!) said...
Why don't y'all hang out in the bar for while.....Let me check out some websites for a room??? Want something to drink??
(heard on HIGH??-Gum please!!)
CRB, Onion Rings And 4 CNT's DONE!
Please make sure whatever you find is PetFriendly Mr Innkeeper, we have a tired ol' donkey, a fuzzy little cherry eating, beer drinking buddy and I do believe some smelly old camels are expected with 3 Wise AA$... um, Wisenheimers on board a bit later......
Slick, I have the suit and it looks good! I don't need a fake beard, I have my own. HO HO HO!!Quote:
Originally posted by slick
Laurie.....why don't you curl up on the couch by the fire with your special blankie. Sweet Toddy is on his way. LOL
Here's the santa suit, I hear that David is wearing it this week. Are you an elf Richard? Can I be an angel you've heard on high??
Bark! Bark!
I hear the honda, signaling the arrival of the firemen...
Look what they've brought ... presents!
String of Kings, Hoard of fords, and Prints of peas
(Ok, I also came up with "mold, fur-n-cents, and purr" someone else can work those into the story. lol)
Did you know that Frankencense and Myrrh were actually gum derivitives? For real! ("Prints of Peas" :D )
I think it's time that Fister had one of those capnip teas. He's being very demanding these days - I could do with just a few drops of yellow Grand Marnier in my coffee, it makes all the difference. :D Should I go and whip some cream for the apple cake? .... I think I will! :)
meanwhile, back at the Holiday Inn, the serving wench prepared a lovely side dish for the weary travelers. Asparagus brought in by camel, with the appropriate sauce.
(ok, I'm repeating this joke from last year but hey, there's new people who haven't groaned to this one yet).
Among his treasures, one of the three wise guys had a beautiful shiney platter that he loaned to the serving wench because, as we all know....
There's no place like chrome for the hollindaise.
Catland..
Some jokes never get old.....
Randi,
1 catnip tea and a slug of GM for your coffee.
DONE
Laurie,
Ever try to keep a sitck of gum lit???
Zippy.
LOLOL.
Growing up I always thought that the word to "Silent Night" were...
"Round, young virgin....." ;)
I guess "of size, innocent girl" wouldn't fit the song...:confused:
as they ate their lovely warming meal . The beatles were playing their christmas hits . The unborn babe was rocking out in the young womans womb.I'll have a suger free hot cocoa please.
INNKEEP!
The lady needs a womb with a ewe!
...(room with a view)...
OK FOLKS.....LINE UP.....THE BROWNIES ARE BAKED!!! :D :D
Bartender may I have a double BM please! I'll keep my distance.....had a greek lunch today with LOTS of garlic....
I'll take a brownie with a big glass of milk to go with it! I'll be sleeping in no time(after my laughing fit)
OH my......Quote:
Originally posted by zippy-kat
INNKEEP!
The lady needs a womb with a ewe!
...(room with a view)...
Where am I gonna get one of THOSE???
ahhh.......Let me think....
:)
Corrina,
Sugar free cocoa,DONE!
Slick,
WHOA HO!!!
DDM,
Cow and gra---brownies........MOOOOOOOOOVE over, I'll share with you!
NO brownies for you...Mario.....No you cannot be the child in swadding clothes.....Isn't that blasphemous?
Bartender, a BM over this way, too! My throat is kind of raw from choir practice. A couple of brownies will help it too!
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad
Slips into the bar humming this song. Oh, Wow!
Santa is here............and all of my favorite people!
The following story is hot off the email presses.
One particular Christmas, a long time ago,
Santa was getting ready for his annual trip.
Alas, there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee
elves just weren't producing the toys as
fast as the regular ones. Poor Santa was
beginning to feel the pressure of being
behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus
announced that her mom was coming
to visit.
This stressed Santa even more. When
he went to harness the reindeer, he
found that three of them were about
to give birth and two had jumped the
fence and were out, heaven knows where.
More stress. Furthermore, when he
began to load the sleigh, one of the
boards cracked, and the toy bag fell
to the ground scattering the toys
everywhere. Frustrated, Santa went
into the house for a cup of apple cider
and a shot of rum. When he went to
the cupboard, he discovered that
the elves had hidden the liquor, ! and
there was nothing to drink.
In his frustration, he accidentally
dropped the cider pot, and it
broke into hundreds of little pieces
all over the kitchen floor. He went to
get the broom and found that mice
had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and
irritable Santa trudged to the door. He
opened the door, and there was a
little angel with a great big Christmas
tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry
Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day?
I have a beautiful tree for you. Where
would you like me to stick it?"
...... And thus began the tradition of
the little angel on top of the Christmas
tree.
Merry Christmas, and I hope you were
gentle putting your angel on the tree
Gini - lol and OUCH!
How do sheep in Mexico wish you a merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad.
I haven't seen the bartender yet so I'll just help myself to Tom and Jerry... uh, I mean some eggnog :o
Oh my, you two are sure giggly this morning. I'm still trying to wake up.
LOL Gini and Catland....thanks for the smiles. Poor little Angel got a bum deal!:D
All I need now is a Spanish Coffee and a happy brownie before I get to work. Work? Today? It's so quiet in here you could shoot a cannon though.
Can we please say a little prayer for Laurie who is sick with the flu and Kelly also. Kelly doesn't frequent the bar but that doesn't mean that we can't chase her flu bugs away, too.;)
Bm and brownie.Quote:
Originally posted by david p
Bartender, a BM over this way, too! My throat is kind of raw from choir practice. A couple of brownies will help it too!
DONE!
Gini, You get a laugh....
DONE!
Catland,
That was BBBBAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHDDDDDDD!
(LOVED IT)
EN, DONE!
Slick,
Brownie and Cafe Espanol!
DONE....
(I'm glad that it's a virtual bar.....brownies and Bloody Marys?? I'll have to talk to David about that!!);)
Hey Santa, mind if I sit on your lap and give you my wish list???Quote:
Slick, I have the suit and it looks good! I don't need a fake beard, I have my own. HO HO HO!!
Great story, Gini! Pass that little angel some Preparation H!!!
Chocolate and tomato juice? :eek: My heart burns already! Gimme a vodka martini, easy on the vermouth and plenty of olives in a chilled glass!!
Fleece Navidad, y'all!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE EVE, EVERYONE!
Can I have a brownie and some hot chocolate? (3 big marshmallows, please.) And of course, 4 catnip teas!:D
Guess I'll take another brownie now. I need my roughage :D Although, it'll be hard to behave myself here at work. One day closer to Christmas! Wish it was cold down here. Anyone want to send us some snow? It's in the 60's and it's thoroughly depressing.
Hey Donna.....I've got some great chewing gum over here???? ;) :D
Well,Connie, did you like my picture? That was taken at my local Petco when I was volunteering with Cat Sense. Cora is the lucky gal I'm holding and she was adopted soon afterward.Quote:
Originally posted by momoffuzzyfaces
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE EVE, EVERYONE!
Can I have a brownie and some hot chocolate? (3 big marshmallows, please.) And of course, 4 catnip teas!:D
Any time, Donna! Have you been a good girl??Quote:
Originally posted by moosmom
Hey Santa, mind if I sit on your lap and give you my wish list???
Great story, Gini! Pass that little angel some Preparation H!!!
Chocolate and tomato juice? :eek: My heart burns already! Gimme a vodka martini, easy on the vermouth and plenty of olives in a chilled glass!!
Fleece Navidad, y'all!!
At the risk of making Mrs. Claus jealous, yes I liked your picture a lot. :DQuote:
Originally posted by david p
Well,Connie, did you like my picture? That was taken at my local Petco when I was volunteering with Cat Sense. Cora is the lucky gal I'm holding and she was adopted soon afterward.
I think you must have been good luck for Cora since she found a home after you had your picture taken together. Maybe you really ARE Santa? :D
<darn - and I expected Slick to make a comment about Tom and Jerry being the haz-mat guys>
Has anyone seen Mario? I knitted a little Santa hat for him. (now I know this is a virtual bar because I don't know the first thing about knitting)
:D :D Sorry Julie.....I'm a little slow today.....must have been those "happy brownies" and that chewing gum. ;) Oh, the colours.......:eek:Quote:
Originally posted by catland
<darn - and I expected Slick to make a comment about Tom and Jerry being the haz-mat guys>
Connie, at least to Cora I was!! She received the best present of all, A new home!!
Then batman falls out of a time portal in the roof of the bar with robin…
Robin: Wholly Birthday batman!!!
RICHARD, I must have a good (virtual) constitution! Anyhow could I exchange the BMs for a steaming hot chocolate with marshmallows? It goes better with a brownie!!Quote:
Originally posted by RICHARD
Bm and brownie.
DONE!
Gini, You get a laugh....
DONE!
(I'm glad that it's a virtual bar.....brownies and Bloody Marys?? I'll have to talk to David about that!!);)
LOLOLOLOLOL,Quote:
Originally posted by david p
RICHARD, I must have a good (virtual) constitution! Anyhow could I exchange the BMs for a steaming hot chocolate with marshmallows? It goes better with a brownie!!
In cyberspace we all 'move' better....
:rolleyes:
Hot choco and marshmallows...DONE!
TNO,
Your first joke entitles you to your first drink!
Slick....
TOO late for Santa to get a new file on either one of us!!!:D
DDM,
bite your tongue....I'm too frail to shovel snow:rolleyes:
MOFF,
brownie, hot choco with marshmallows and 4 CNT's..
Happy Xmas Furkids.....
DONE!
MM,
Ready??
SHAKEN OR STIRRED???...I have always wanted to do that!!!!!:)
DONE!
Gini?
Drink?
My back aches, my feet are swollen, and I can't sleep. Can someone get me a cup of tea?
Sorry to hear you are having such a tough day Tonya....
come sit by the fire and put your feet up and I'll see if I can find some tea for you.
Cup of tea, a blanky and a fire....Quote:
Originally posted by catland
Sorry to hear you are having such a tough day Tonya....
come sit by the fire and put your feet up and I'll see if I can find some tea for you.
DONE......
-------------
Will someone open the door and let Mario in??
He's been in the jacuzzi all morning....
I'm such a mean meowmie!
It's snowed the past two days and guess which bratkat got "dumped" outside in it? :D
I'd like a cup of coffee, please, and I think K'Cee wants a new mommy (or maybe some socks for those cold feeties). lol