Hey--Question!! Confused here :(

Hey, it's me, Genny. How are all of you doing? You guys might not remember me-I think it has been over a year but I use to visit this site all the time. My life has been a little hectic the past year or so--and we moved and just recently got our computer back-so this is really the first chance I've gotten to get online. But anyway here I am now (and I hope I'll have the time to visit this site more often now, I :love: it here :))

Anyway here is what I wanted to talk about. Over a year ago I sent in a thread asking advice about this guy that I liked a lot--but the problem was that he was 17 and I was 20. We were like really great friends for a long time and I think we both kinda liked each other 'more than friends' but it's like we were too afraid to say anything.
We never went out but for a year we talked every day- either he would call me or I would go to the store he worked at to see him. I was really falling for him and he was awesome to me-He would come to my house and he made good friends w/ my older brother (my brother is 28 and he's overly protective of me :p) so normally he doesn't like many guys for me, but he liked this guy (his name is Alec) so anyway we weren't going out but we were just like such goodfriends. He evern told my brother one day before Halloween '08 that he gets so nervous and tongue tied around me-but he wanted to ask me out soon) When my brother told me that I was so excited! Alec started working at a Haunted Maze and invited my brother & I to come to it one night, so the night before Halloween we decide to go. I tried calling Alec to let him know we were on our way, but he wouldn't answer his cell. I figured he was working in the maze somewhere and couldn't hear his phone. So we went ahead. When we got there we asked this other guy we saw that also worked at the maze if Alec was working tonight and he told us that he hadn't seen him in a couple days that he started dating some girl recently--and right when I heard that it broke my heart. It just crushed me and made me feel terrible. So I didn't call him or anything because if he was out with some other girl I didn't want to call, ya know? So a month later I was at Walmart w/ my friend and I see Alec w/ this other girl holding her hand. That really hurt my feelings and I just wanted to cry. I think he saw me but he didn't say anything. (That was back in November)
I haven't talked to Alec since then UNTIL.........
March 3, a couple days ago he calls mycell phone, but I was in the shower and didn't answer it, then March 4 he calls me again so I answer it to see what he wants--he asked me if he could ride by, he said his buddy was w/ him and he wanted to know if he could ride by and say hi. I didn't want to be rude so I told him I guess he could if he wanted to. So he sayd alright we'll be there in 10 minutes-----well he comes and we talk for a while and then he asked me if my brother and I would want to go mud-riding w/ him and a few of his guy friends this weekend. We said sure alright--so he said hed call us and let us know when they were going.
After he left I just wondered......why in the world did he call me after not calling for 5 months???!!!??? He broke my heart whether he realized it or not. So the weekend came and went and Sunday he text messaged me to let me know they didn't go this weekend (duh!) that they might go tomorrow, but he'd call and let me know. Well the next day he called me but I didn't answer it cause my phone was on vibrate and I didn't hear it. So not it's 3 days after that happened. So I don't know what to do or think? I mean I was so hurt at him and I had finally gotten over him and then he calls me again...out of the blue...just like that....what am I supposed to think or say? I mean I liked him so much before, ofcourse I still like him, but I wonder what he's thinking. Why did he call me after 5 months and why didn't he call me before that, why did he wait so long?? I mean he really hurt me really bad by not calling me....I mean it crushed me...and we had never went out so it's not like he cheated on me, but for some reason it still hurt.
So not he's 18 and this has happened and I don't know what to do or think about it. I'm still 20...but what do I do? I mean it's already been 3 days since he last called me, is he gonna go a couple more months until he calls again? know what I mean...I don't know what to expect from him now. I know I should probably just forget him cause he's probably gonna end up hurting me again like he did before, but what do you think? why do you guys think he called me after 5 whole months of nothing at all!!!!???!!!!!
Well if any of you have read this, thankyou, and thankyou for replying back to me if you can.

Genny

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Why did he call me after 5 months and why didn't he call me before that, why did he wait so long?? I mean he really hurt me really bad by not calling me....

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Call him. Ask him what his deal is. Ask him why he didn't call for 5 months. Tell him it hurt you. I'd also let him know that you don't want to be friend only when it's convenient for him.

By the way, it's good to see you posting again.

I agree with what Kari said. If you guys were such good friends (and it sounds like you were) you should be able to talk to him about this.
I've had the same thing happen to me. I had a good friend and when he got into a relationship he would stop talking to me, usually because the girlfriend didn't want him talking to me. Jealous?? Anyway, he got married 5 years ago and I haven't heard from him since. :(
Try not to get hung up on him. He's obviously doing his own thing and you should too. If you two are meant to be together it will happen. Maybe further down the road when he matures a bit more.

And welcome back!! :D

He was most likely completely wrapped up in his new girlfriend. He is very young and most likely does not have much experience in friendships/relationships.

You could call him and tell him that he hurt you and then move on. It will help you move on if you tell him how you feel/felt.

Good luck!

Definitely just talk to him!

He's 18 and male. Who knows his reason for doing anything? Honestly sounds like he was putting you on a list of possibilities and then found someone more convenient at the moment. I'd move on, but then again I'm 36 now and have no more patience for immature mind games. Been there done that, LOL. Too many good men in this world to get worked up over just one.

Thanks ya'll for listening to me about my problems and trying to help me out. Alec still hasn't called me back since the last time I told ya'll about. But I feel like I need to know 'why' know what I'm sayin'? I just want to ask him why have you called me after nothing for 5 months! So most of you say I should talk to him--but I think what I'll do is text him tomorrow or something....something like this ~hey, just wondering what you have been up to. Well, I'll talk to you later~
Does that sond cool? Or should I send one a little funny like ~hey, what's up? I hope you don't plan on not calling me for another 5 months LOL~ so which sounds best? Or would you not send it at all? I just don't know...I hope I'm not boring ya'll :confused:
And here's one more thing I meant to mention earlier--when he asked me to go mud riding w/ him several days ago why did he ask me to go w/ him and his friends? I don't even know his friends--and he asked my brother to go w/ us too. I don't get that...if he wanted to go somewhere w/ me why couldn't he just ask me to a movie or somethin'?
Anyway thanks for listening to me ramble on and on about this.
I talked to a couple of friends about all this and they don't know Alec so all they tell me is forget him or ask him out, but I can't do either one. I don't know what to say....I talked to my mom about it and she told me that she use to love Alec he was so sweet and all this stuff, but since he didn't call for so long she told me she didn't know what his deal was--know what I mean? So anyway I got to go and I guess I'll talk to you guys after while!!

perhaps he likes you as a friend but realizes you like him more than that, and he's trying hard not to send the wrong message? Go hang out with a group, but if you text and call and all that, you might make him a little edgy if he's trying to keep it "friendly" for now. Do you live close together?

I agree with TailOf2Kitties. I have a friend that I 'like-like', but he only likes me as a friend. He'll ask me to go hang out with him and his friends, but not just us two.

He probably just wants to be friends. I still think you should talk to him about it. You guys seem like such good friends.

thanks ya'll

atailof2kitties, yeah we live like only 10 minutes away from each other

Hi Genny and welcome back, firstly find out if he is still seeing this girl, you may have already mentioned it and i missed it in your post, but that would be my first priority,if not then keep talking chatty friendly talk with him, and go out with him as friends, if anything is going to develop it will in time, but one thing for sure don't let it become too complicated, you are both young, so enjoy life,and his friendship.:)

I agree with the others! Send him a message that you want to talk to him, and try to meet somewhere f.e. in a park or a café. Ask him straight what his plans with you are? Is it just "a" friendship, or does he want more?
Listen very well, and follow your heart then :):love::)

good luck :love:!!

Don't try to be cool or hard to get or anything like that, playing games is a waste of time.

Be confident and tell him how you feel, i mean don't be desperate or anything crazy like that, just tell him hey i thought you liked me and then i don't hear from you for 5 months..that's a little strange so what's up?

I've done the whole game playing thing with guys and trust me it aint worth it. Any guy that is worth anything isn't going to play games.

Hey thankyou guys so much for listening to me and helping me out here. I'm gonna write ya'll back later about everything w/ alec incase ya'll wanna know;) talk to you later guys

welp, I told ya'll I'd let you guys know how things went so...since I can't make myself get enough courage gained to call Alec I never called him--but 3 days ago Alec called me at work, but I was at work and couldn't answer the phone. I was off work yesterday so while I was at Walmart I decided to call Alec back and see what he wanted--I was nervous about calling him so I only let it ring twice and then I hung up--he called me right back and I answered it and we talked for about 10 minutes...he told me he just got a tattoo and we talked about our new jobs..he joked around saying that he got a 'pink' tattoo LOL (not really, he was only jokin :rolleyes:) and we just talked a little while...then I told him I had to run in Walmart but that he should call me again sometime..he said he would...and that was that--that's it. I don't know why he called me a couple days ago--he just calls out of the blue all the time and there really isn't ever a reason for him calling..he just calls and says hi or whatever and then he'll go a while w/out callin until he just decides to again someday...

My brothers and I went to a movie lastnight and my older brother told me that I should call and invite Alec to go to the movies w/ us--I wanted to but I was too nervous to call.

My mother says that she thinks Alec likes me but he's too intimidated by me cause I'm older than he is and he doesn't really know for sure if I really even like him. I dunno...but that's what my mom says.

So I told ya'll I'd let ya know if I called him or what ever happened--
I just don't know what to think...or whether I should just call and ask him out or what...he'll be graduating this May--I figure he'll come around more during the summer after he graduates...but I don't know..
Oh well I need to go I've got to be at work tomorrow at 11am.
Talk to ya'll later;)

Sweetie if you really like him, just invite him to the movies or something like that, and see how it goes, i think you will get the vibes if he is interested or not,life is too short to play games, and he probably is just as nervous as you and unsure of himself being younger and you a little older,i say go for it,:) good luck

Sometimes, guys have realizations about what they did, and they do things like this. Maybe he is trying to be your friend again, no one knows.