Still worried about Luna's and Lily's safety! (update #33)

For a couple of days, I hesitated to write about this, most of all because I wanted to respect the privacy of a family close to me. Like I mentioned before in my "I'm back home"-thread there's a problem with my neighbors, and this keeps me worrying since I came back.

Well, I don't wanna go into details, so let me tell you just this: My neighbor has severe problems atm and isn't herself anymore. If that term leaves room for speculation, assume the worst. Right now she's abroad, but should be brought back the next days.

She was originally supposed to look after Luna and Lily while I was in hospital, but in the weeks before I left, she already did some weird things and we had an argument about that (because one of the things she did affected me a lot), and at that point, she started blaming me for all her misery. So I decided that my mom looked after the girls, and not her.

A wise decision, as it turned out. Many things happened while I was away; she went downhill quickly, and a mutual friend filled me in. Amongst other things, she told me that my neighbor had mentioned she would do something to my cats, like chasing them out of the house!!! Ever since I heard these news, I'm terrified!! I'm still in shock to learn how close I was to lose Luna and Lily!!!

And what if she's coming back? I assume she'll be admitted to a facility when she's back in Germany, but what if she's released from there sooner or later and comes back home? Can I ever trust her again, even if she's on medication? Will my girls be safe here? Do you think it's better I move?

Believe me, this is not the homecoming I expected to have!!!

Kirsten

A friend of mine just recently gave me some very good advice: Pray for or wish for what you want to happen, not for what you don't want to happen. In other words, think and act to the positive, not the negative.

I couldn't figure out what you were trying to say as to what went wrong with your neighbor, but if it scares you that much, maybe a move is in order.

Glad to hear you are home and are safe and sound.

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I couldn't figure out what you were trying to say as to what went wrong with your neighbor,

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Just pm'ed you.

Kirsten

You shouldn't let her drive you out but just be safe in the knowledge that your precious girls shouldn't be entrusted to her

If you don't let your girls outside I wouldn't worry about that neighbor. If she starts coming around making trouble, call the law and let them deal with her.

Just remember in your prayers at night to ask Him to keep you and your girls safe from all harm and to help your neighbor get well.

Does this person have access to your home? If yes, get the locks changed NOW. Otherwise, just don't let her anywhere near you or the girls.
But with what you've been dealing with personally, it might be a better idea for you to move, so you won't have to live stressing about what she might/could do. Although, moving itself is not always stress-free either.
Oh my. I hope everything works out for the best.

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Originally Posted by Taz_Zoee

Does this person have access to your home? If yes, get the locks changed NOW. Otherwise, just don't let her anywhere near you or the girls.
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my advise too! I would also avoid any possible contact with her !

Don't worry about your girls, okay? They will be fine, and you are there for them. If and when she returns, she'll likely have other things to concern her.

Treasure your peace now, I am sure it is nice to be back home.

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Does this person have access to your home?

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She used to have, I always had a second key to my apartment hidden in the stairways. She knew where it was, but I put it away before I left for the clinic. Call it instinct, but the weeks before I left, I already felt she couldn't be trusted anymore.

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I would also avoid any possible contact with her

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This is the same advice my doctor (who is also her doctor) gave me. But it won't be easy as we live in the same house (she lives one floor down).

However, they entire thing is so sad and scary! We used to be something like friends, I often went downstairs to chat with her, and she's also been a co-worker of mine. Now her disease turned everything into a nightmare.

Kirsten

Geez, I try so hard to get back to normal, but it's not easy to forget that there was this threat towards Luna and Lily. It's like a dark cloud hanging over me these days!

I look at them and see them in their sweetness and innocence, and the thought of the horror that almost happened is weighing heavy on my heart. :(

Kirsten

I'm sure your girls must be so happy to be with you again. :)
Maybe you should get your lock changed and new keys. That way you will know there aren't any copies of keys around.

Kirsten - I remember you saying, before you went into hospital, that you didn't really have any friends to look after your girls. You said something about your increasing poor health having contributed to that.

It sounds like your neighbour is experiencing the same thing - maybe a different illness, but an illness nonetheless.

Perhaps she has lost friends also, because of her moods, which she needs professional treatment to help.

Rather than fear, perhaps reaching out to her with some understanding would help.

Something like a little card showing you understand: "I remember when we had a good friendship and enjoyed knowing each other. As you know, I have been unwell, and had to go away for treatment.
When I got back, I heard you were in hospital. I hope you feel better soon."

Not exactly those words - just identifying with her situation as much as you can because of what you have experienced. Perhaps that will help the fear.

Just my sense of it - people are not the danger here; fear is.

{{{{hugs}}}}

{{hugs}} to you and your girls!

The situation's getting worse here; I wish we had a private forum here at Pet Talk so I could tell you all the details! :( :( :(

Anyway, at this point, I think I need to rehome Luna and Lily as they are no longer safe here, at least until I find another place for us to live. I'm really, really scared!!! I don't know how to pay the money for a move, nor do I know how to make it in this poor health state, but we're definitely not safe here. Geez, this is such a nightmare, and I'm at my wits end!!!

Kirsten

Kirsten - call the police, tell them what is going on, and ask them to do something!

I don't know about Germany, but here police can have someone committed to hospital against their will.

PLEASE call them.

The police was here yesterday, and an ambulance took her to the hospital, but obviously her actions and verbal threats were not enough to justify a compulsory hospitalization, because at it seems, they will release her the next days. I'm devastated since I've heard that. She made a threat to "destroy us all".

Ever since she's back in Germany, I'm locking myself in my apartment most of the time. All I want is to have my life back!!!

Kirsten

Can her husband not commit her? Geesh! You, as a neighbour who lives there, need to call the cops and tell them you are afraid and WHY. They need to hear from others besides the family and that sick woman. They also need to know that you are on medical leave (or whatever that is), and that this woman poses a danger to your health and well-being. You call the police when YOU are in danger.

I don't know WHY the hospital would listen to her scream threats and decide to release her after a few days. Unless they've taught her husband how to cram medication down her throat. :rolleyes:

Start looking for a home and call the police.

Wow.. she threatens to destroy everyone, and they release her?! What the heck good is that to anyone involved?? Will they only do something drastic when she does something drastic (as in too late)?! I'd be really upset.

I hope that they can do something to hospitalize her for long term. You shouldn't have to uproot yourself and your girls because of one person. That's just not fair to anyone.

Is there any way of getting a restraining order against her, so that she can't be within so many thousand feet, in other words, she would have to move? Or would that just make her go off worse??

Geez.

I hope that something can be done that won't have to be drastic or harmful to anyone, including the woman who is dealing with her own inner demons, it seems.

Big hugs to you, Kirsten, and your girls. You really shouldn't have to be dealing with this right after you've gotten home.

I'm sorry to hear this.:( Nobody should have to live with this situation.
Does this person have family that can be notified of her bizzare behavior?

If no one can, or will, do something to help, I would keep calling the police
whenever she makes a threat of any kind. ((hugs))

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Will they only do something drastic when she does something drastic (as in too late)?!

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Seems so! :( I'm absolutely devastated to learn that the authorities don't help the way they should. :( A week ago, when I spoke to my doctor about this situation and my fears re. my neighbor, (she's also her doctor, so she knows what's going on) she calmed me down by saying my neighbor would be admitted to an institution for many months as soon as she enters German ground, and I trusted in that. Now things went wrong and it did not happen that way, and my doctor, who could interfere, is on vacation. :( Talk about bad timing! :confused:

But what can I do except for calling the police as soon as she touches me, my cats or my property? Filing for a restraining order wouldn't make much sense as she lives in the same house with me!

And yes, her husband tried to commit her, he even had another talk to the doctors at the clinic last night, but so far, I do not know what they decided. But I think I heard her husband saying she'll come home tonight :( :( :( (but I'm not sure if I heard that right).

Kirsten

I hope this woman will be committed soon. I will keep you and your kittys in my prayers.

Kirsten,

This woman sounds like a real loonie toon. I pray for your safety and Luna and Lily's as well. No one should have to leave in fear like that. Keep calling the police and filing report. Maybe in the meantime they'll get the hint and finally get this woman the help she needs.

((((((((HUGS)))))))))to you, Luna and Lily

Donna

Well, I meant with the restraining order, if they say she has to stay so many thousand or hundred feet away, then she'd have to move somewhere so that you would be safe, and she'd have to honor the boundaries of the restraining order.

I hope that she will be committed shortly and that you will be able to live in peace.

Oh gosh, how frightening that must be for you!! I`m sorry you have to go through that. :( This woman sounds like she definitely needs to be committed. Especially when she is threatening you like that. It`s terrible for you to have to think about rehoming your cats and moving altogether because nothing seems to be getting done about this woman. :( Prayers are on the way that you, Luna and Lily will stay safe, and that somehow this situation can be resolved asap. {{hugs}}

Thanks! I haven't heard anything today, so I think she's still at the clinic.

Not sure about a restraining order in this case. After all, she lives here with her family, and to make her stay away from this house would mean she has to stay away from them, so I'm not sure if that would work... :confused:

I guess all I can do is hoping that they will keep her in the clinic until she's back to normal, or I really need to find a new place for me and my girls to live... :(

Kirsten

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Originally Posted by Kirsten

I really need to find a new place for me and my girls to live... :(

Kirsten

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I am so sorry, but I think you don't have much choice..............:(

Kirsten - why not start looking for a place now?

You don't have to actually move - just research what is available. You might find something that is wonderful, and maybe doesn't have all those stairs to climb, which I know is hard for you when you are feeling unwell. :)

Just look at the ads and see. Maybe some karma is causing this trouble to guide you to a new and perfect place.

{{{{hugs}}}}

Already started looking, but so far, I did not find anything I could affort. Besides, I don't have the money for a move, so that would be the last option.

Kirsten

Just tell him you are looking - that's all. He'll have to think of how he will rent out your room with such an ill woman as a tenant....

If you do find a place (you only need one, and it's out there somewhere!) ask your landlord about his not keeping your security deposit, if you had to pay one. That way you will have a little $. Maybe he knows another landlord that would be reasonable?

I am sure your landlord is not happy about the situation either, as it places his business in danger.

{{{hugs}}}

My landlords are an elderly couple of 75 - 80 years, and they've been on vacation till last Friday and missed the entire drama. I don't know if they are informed meanwhile. For many years they have been friends to my neighbor and her family.

I think before I decide to do anything, I should wait and see what happens. After all, there's a chance that my neighbor decides to live somewhere else (at least this is what she said in her current state). Guess all I can do is wait. But when she's really returning and is still so sick, there's no doubt that I have to go, no matter what.

Kirsten

Kirsten,

In the meantime, I hope you and your girls will be safe.

Psycho neighbors are the pits! I hope things resolve quickly and without incedent, and that you and your girls are safe!

Thanks everyone!!

I got the news today that she will stay at the clinic for a while, at least a few weeks. Now all I can do is hoping that she will recover and be more like her old self with the right treatment!

Kirsten

That`s good news. Glad to hear that she will be getting the help that she needs and that you and the girls will be safe for awhile. :)

Yes, it's a huge relief, for everyone involved, I guess. And it's also the best solution for herself, even when she cannot see it at this point. I really hope they're able to help her there!

Kirsten

That's wonderful, Kirsten. What a relief for you that must be!

I hope the poor lady can get the help she needs at the clinic.

Happy to hear she'll be getting the help she needs!

I hope you have your friend back soon!

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Originally Posted by Kirsten

Yes, it's a huge relief, for everyone involved, I guess. And it's also the best solution for herself, even when she cannot see it at this point. I really hope they're able to help her there!

Kirsten

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You are absolutely right Kirsten. I hope they find the cause & treatment
that helps her get back to being a good neighbor.

Good news for you! And I truly pray that this woman gets well, even if they have to force medicate her for a few days...I hope she realizes that she is different in a good way, and sticks with it!:)

That's great news! Hopefully she'll be back to herself when she comes home.:)