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A PTer PMed me and asked how Miss Nicki is doing. The answer: not good. I doubt she'll make it through the winter, poor girl is so sore and painful these days.
After speaking with the PTer via PM, I decided to check out petfinder. and I fell totally in love with Millie, an English Spaniel. I texted hubby who answered back that its my decision because he doesn't want to make Nicki upset. So I decided to fill out the application on Millie. I clicked "send" and realized I can't go back now.
I think you should not find a replacement for Nicki, let her live out her life then start looking. She has a right to peace in her final days and who knows she may have a year or more left.
She doesn't have much time left at all... I'm thinking she might not make it til Easter. She's been falling down the steps. Can't get into bed. She won't let me touch her. She's in constant pain. There are days where I think she can't even move to get off her bed. She begs to go outside a hundred times day and has been drinking LOTS of water. She also misses Cameron a LOT.Quote:
Originally Posted by caseysmom
What does her vet think is wrong with her?
Quote:
Originally Posted by catnapper
What does your Vet say about Nicki ? can't she have some relief from
her "constant pain" ? Poor girl. :(
There's nothing we can do for her. She's not responding to the meds the vet gave her a while ago. She's just old. Its close to her time.
I have seen this a few times on pettalk where people start looking around when a dog gets old, I don't mean to judge but it just seems kind of callous. Maybe I have a hard time relating, casey is my heart dog and she will be eight this year and that alone stresses me out, I can't imagine life without her and if her time was near she would be my only focus.
Only you know your dog... but if I were in your place I'd give 110% of my time, money and energy to Nicki and making sure that I'm doing all I can for her until the end, it can't be good that she's in constent pain.
Quote:
Originally Posted by catnapper
Quote:
Originally Posted by catnapper
What meds did your vet give her? How long is 'a while ago'?Quote:
Originally Posted by catnapper
Sometimes just one or two times of trying meds isn't always enough. Sometimes things need a change in meds, or increasing dosages.
Drinking lots of water can be either kidneys or diabetes, both of which do have some meds/treatments that will help, although not totally cure anything but at least make the dog feel better with what time is left.
There are LOTS of different pain medications that are designed to help older dogs. Just because one didn't work doesn't mean that other ones won't.
If the dog isn't allowing you to touch her, is falling down, and drinking enough water to need letting out that many times a day it needs to be addressed by the vet. Being in that much pain is no way for a dog to spend it's last days and not a way you want to remember your dog's last days either.
I honestly think it would be worth it to visit the vet again and see if there are other options with the medications, especially since it's been 'a while' and the dog is in obvious pain now.
Thank you all for the guilt trip. Do you think I took this step lightly? Seriously!
First off, Nicki HAS seen the vet numerous times for this. She has been on several meds. Adjusted dosages many times over. The newest med was from July and worked a while. Then had to be increased. Its not working at all and hasn't been for a while. The vet said if this one didn't work then there wasn't anything more we can do. I cover her every night because the heat from a blanket helps. Her bed is right by a heater. I am doing all I can for her. She's as comfortable as I can make her.
Drinking: the vet said at her advanced age there is nothing we could do if it was diabetes of kidneys, etc anyway, except prolong her life by a few days or week. I'm not able to spend a lot of money on testing for a 13 year old dog who had a 10 year life expectancy and my vet refuses to ALLOW me to spend money on tests that won't mean much in the long run.
Secondly, the adoption process with this rescue is known to take well over a month or two. Who's to say Nicki will still be here by then? Who's to say she won't accept the new dog?
Now thank you all again for making me feel like crap and ruining something that I was excited and SCARED about. Yes, I'm scared. Will Nicki hate her? I doubt it. She loves other dogs. I could take my neighbor's dog in my house and make her mine tomorrow and Nicki would be happier than she's ever been because she adores Gracie. They're great friends. I want her to have a friend before passing. I want her to know comfort and warmth of sleeping with a buddy on a cold night. I'm also praying it rejuvenates her and gives her back some puppiness if only for a little while.
Do you think I didn't weigh this over in my mind for the past few months? I found a dog I loved a few months ago and never acted on it because it didn't feel like the right time. I am VERY GOOD at following my instincts. My instincts are telling me this is a goodchoice for us.
Catnapper, I really don't think anyone here is trying to make you feel like crap. If they did, that really wasn't intention. I know what you are going through. Sassy is getting older and her arthritis may get worse..but for now she is fine. The meds seem to be working. She has her bad days, and her good days. Mostly good. Like Angie said though, you know your dog best. You will know when it's time to put Nicki to sleep. It is inevitable and will eventually happen.
But for now, CONGRATULATIONS on sending in the application. I love Springer Spaniels. Is there a picture of her on Petfinder? I'd love to see it. :)
Sorry I was sort of surprised by your post, I know you are a very loving pet mom and it sort of took me aback. I just had not heard anything about nikki's health. I didn't mean to rain on your parade I know your going through hell and I am sure you deserve and could use some happiness, maybe a new happy pup is just what everyone needs, including nikki, sorry if I came across judgemental.Quote:
Originally Posted by catnapper
I must admit I was a little surprised at some of the responses. There are a couple of things for everyone to remember, catnapper is going through a rescue agency, and they will evaluate the situation and decide if this dog is a good fit for the family. Nicki will (I would hope) be part of that evaluation. While we all want Nicki to be happy and comfortable, applying for a new dog doesn't preclude that. However, I am sorry to hear that you don't feel it worthwhile to have more tests done to make her more comfortable or prolong her life. I am also sorry to hear that you have a vet that wouldn't allow addtional attempts at finding help for Nicki. Good luck to you, and I hope everything works out for the best. And I am sure we would all be happy to welcome Millie into the Pet Talk family if you should be selected as her new family.
If you feel what youre doing is the best thing for Nicki then theres no reason for you to feel guilty about anything youre doing. (I know that statement sounds kind of Reeeearrr (B*tchy) but its not meant to ) I just mean you dont have anything to feel guilty about if you know youre doing the right thing.
Does she still eat well? Does she appear to still enjoy life?
I too thought some of the posts were uncalled for. Congrats on your decision. I will be keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well. I know you are not "shopping" around for a replacement. Bringing a new dog in could very well bring new life to Nikki. Ramone sure has for Emily, I can tell you that much. She wrestles and plays with him like a puppy. :)
Oh boy... when it rains it pours. I got an urgent email from someone in the cat rescue today. A friend of theirs is going through a divorce and needs to find a home for her lab mix dog. She sounds just like Nicki at 3 years old. A bit more energetic than I wanted around Nicki, but at the same time she could be what Nicki needs to be more spritely.
Here's the two pups:
Millie, who's 6.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...ign/Millie.jpg
Brooke, who is 3 - the electric collar would go bye-bye in a heart beat
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...ign/Brooke.jpg
Ahh, they are both beautiful pups. Are you going to meet both of them to see how they are so you can decide which would be a better fit for your household?
That would be a tough decision for me based on the photos. I would probably lean more toward Millie though, just based on looks of course. (I like her spots)
Or are you considering taking them both? (just kidding....kinda:p)
I know you will make the right decision with Nikki in mind.
Good luck to you in whatever you decide.....and I can't wait to see pics of the newbie. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by caseysmom
Me too but, not everybody feels that way. What ever a person does
to compensate for the loss of a friend & helps them cope is ok.
What bothered me about the original post was being left to think of a
dog in constant pain & nothing can be done to help her. Why let her
suffer though that? :confused:
There's nothing wrong with opening your heart to a new dog right away. I like the idea of my older dog meeting the new one before she dies. It doesn't mean you love Nicki less. I really wish you'd put her to sleep though, but that is my position on keeping animals in pain alive. I know its hard. And why not get both Millie and Brooke?
They are both so adorable!! I'd say go with what your heart is saying. I really hope Brooke finds a home soon. Poor girl. :(
Whomever you choose, let's arrange a play date!!! I think Woody would love to meet Nicki and either of the other dogs you choose. :)
Millie is an English Springer Spaniel? :D She is such a cutie! Kind of reminds me of a Clumber, as well. :D Brooke is an absolute doll! Very cute. I hope you find the exact right pupper for you at the exact right time for you. :)
You need to do what your heart tells you. Period.
Brooke looks like my RB Cody, a yellow lab mix! But Millie is adorable too! Hmmmm. hard decision..2 different, awesome dogs!
Thank you for taking such loving, gentle care of Nicki. I know it's terribly difficult.
Wow, I found that some of the criticisms here are pretty harsh. :( I think to each individual, when and how and where to get a new pup is intensely personal. And certainly I don't think that Catnapper is viewing a new pup as a "replacement"....
Kim, here's a {{hug}} and I am sure that the right pup will find its way into your heart at just the right time. And here's to Nicki, and the wonderful life that she has and all the fun times you have had together.
Donīt feel guilty Kim... as Cookiebaker said... itīs up to an individual when and how to add a new member.... and I soooo understand it
In my case I would be devastated if I lost a dog and had no other, not to replace as no dog will ever replace another, but to help me mourn ths lost one.. make me shift my attention into giving love into that other one, and not let myself depress more.... a seond dog will be able to help ease the situation but not forget it and never ever will he replace your lost dogīs place in your heart.... and this second dog would not be just "used"...
when loosing a dog itīs hard itself but I feel personally itīs more painful if you have no one else there to cheer you up as another dog would.... I mean thereīs family and kids.... but itīs not the same.... I love my kid very much but he just wouldnīt understand how I felt... and hubby, parents, bro and sis....well.... they would just not get it at all... and a dog is always the best listener and the best furry shoulder to lean on....and cry on....
I so hope Nikki will be fine for the time she has left...and if adding a second dog bothers her more than brighten her up Iīm sure thereīs always a way of keepeing them separated and still give both of them quality time... the newcomer so he gets adjusted and bonded, and Nikki so she has her lasting moments full of love as she always has...
in Kimīs case, if she lost a cat,(not saying it wonīt hurt like hell, but) she has other cats to ease the pain... and if she lost her only dog..... thereīs no other dog around....
and itīs not like finding a replacement once the dog is gone, but we know our dogs and know almost when itīs their time.... some may wonder why is Nikki allowed to suffer if no meds are making her better??.... well let me tell you we as humans are selfish and want to try the impossible to keep our pets as long as we can...itīs hard on itīs own to loose them on their terms, but I think itīs harder to loose them on our terms (PTS)... but if needed we will always make the right decision but not the easiest one...
Kim: whichever pup you choose they are lovely.....but Iīm leaning also to Millie.... those spots are way too cute!!....
Kim whatever choices you make will be the right ones, you and you alone know what is best for your dog, and we all know you as a very responsible pet owner,personally i think she is in very good hands, and very lucky to have such a good mom,if you need to ease her pain,by letting her go ,then you will know when to do just that.
Everyone is different and deals with such things in their own way, if thinking about getting a new pup takes your mind off what is happening with your dog, then it is all good.
It will all work out in the end, and bless you for taking such good care of your dog,here's hoping she is not going to suffer much longer.
I think they're trying to shield themselves from the pain of loss, thinking if they have another little pup around to keep them busy they won't have to experience that feeling of loss quite as strong.Quote:
Originally Posted by caseysmom
I wish you luck in chosing the right pup for you, your household and Nicki. Just because you are opening your heart to love another pup does not mean you are closing your heart to the one you already have. Sometimes it does make things a little easier when one passes if there is another furkid there to help bring joy to your heart. They feel the pain you feel and know just what to do to give you a smile and help you make it through the hardest of days.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Husky_mom
Well said. :)
I brought a new puppy into a household with a 13 year old dog. The senior dog, Pumpkin, was a toy poodle and the puppy, Ashley, was a mini. I did find that the senior dog was not at all interested in playing with the puppy. They got along OK but there was no bonding as Pumpkin was just too old for any kind of play. In your case, a dog in pain might not feel well enough to interact. This is not a criticism but, rather, so that you don't feel that something is wrong if they don't strike up a friendship. My senior dog did live another 4 years after we adopted the puppy. He was never in pain but was deaf, blind from dense cataracts and was developing a serious incontinence problem. It was our choice to eventually help him to the bridge at the age of 17. Had he been in pain, with no remedy for the pain, he would have had to leave us earlier. Each case is different, but I wish you well. Out of the two pictures posted I fell quickly for Millie. Please give Nicki some extra hugs from all of us.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lizbud
That was my thoughts/concern too.
It's the condition of the dog she has, the way she described it, that had me concerned. It wasn't my intention to make anyone feel guilty over a new dog, that part doesn't matter to me and is her decision, whether she gets a new dog now, later, never, or whenever it's her choice.
I totally understand how you feel. If I had different living conditions, I would have had another dog probably in early 2005. But, my living conditions, and the way I felt about Duke, wouldn't let me. In my case, I was wanting another dog for reasons for me. For making it easier when Duke did pass. That wouldn't have been fair to him. In your case, it's different. If Nicki need more companionship that might make her happier, that would be great. I would take the dogs being considered to the house to meet Nicki, if possible, before choosing one. I wish Nicki's pain could be relieved. Like I told you, it breaks my heart to hear that she's not doing well. Please hug her until you're tired of doing so. Those would be from me.
Good luck with the adoptions... I hope you find the perfect pup for you and Nicki... or not, depending on your decision.
No one can be a better judge of what's right for Nicki than you. You obviously love her a lot, and I'm positive your decision about adopting another dog will be in her/your best interest. I'm really sorry that Nicki isn't doing well.
Folks... please remember Nicki is 13 years old. The vet understands that and is aware at her age a few things can't happen: 1) surgery. She wouldn't survive it. so why tests for things that would ultimately need surgery? 2) If she did have something serious, there's nothing we can do other than make her as comfortable as we can, which is what we're already doing.
Now, the reasons why I feel another dog is what she needs.... she "lights up" (if dogs can light up) when she sees Gracie. She wants to play. She wags her tail a mile a minute. She has been depressed since Cameron left and her arthritis has gotten worse since Cam left. Its as if she doesn't want to do anything so not moving has made her stiffer and more sore. She was very active when Cam was here (as active as a 13 year old girl can be) and since he left, all she does is sleep. I know that finding a buddy for her will mean a great deal to her and possible be what ultimately extends her life.
As for her pain. Its merely arthritis. Like my mom said "would you put me down because MY arthritis medicine wasn't cutting MY soreness?" And truth is, mom's meds AREN'T cutting her pain. She has tried several types and dosages and they're not working for her. Why should I put Nicki down if thats the worst of her problems? YES, she has mammoth size fatty tumors. The vet still isn't concerned about them because they aren't interfering with any major organs, bones, or muscle groups. YES she's been eating and drinking more lately.... like I already stated, my vet finds it fruitless to run a bunch of expensive tests that won't reveal anything that can be fixed.
Believe me, if she were even 8 years old, I'd be running the tests and not considering the expense. Look what I did for Pouncer. Most people would have just put him down rather than getting him the surgery. I will do whatever is necessary for my pets after I consider all facts. Tests on a dog halfway through her life... go do them all! Tests on a dog who is within months of her passing? Are you kidding? Why put her through it? You have no idea how stressed she gets going to the vet. Just the car ride freaks her out. Why put her through something that won't mean anything in the end? What would we do different if she did have diabetes? Shove yet another pill down her throat and extend her life by a week? And many of you are saying I'm being unfair letting her live in pain now?
Thank you to all of you who gave me wonderful words of support and encouragement. The above rant certainly does not apply to you. ((hugs))
Kim i don't know if you believe in alternative medicine or not,I call it complimentary medicine lol, but have you tried any herbal remedies, i can't tell you of any specific one's as i have not tried any myself, but just wondered if any of those might help her pain, i have arthritis myself in my little fingers and it hurts like hell at times,anything might be worth a try eh?
This is a nz website, but i am sure you can get these herbs worldwide.
http://www.brookbyherbs.co.nz
I don't look down on you at all for wanting another dog. I had my dog Zoe for a long time she died at the age of 9 from what we believe was congestive heart failure. When I brought home my puppy Lucy she was a whole other dog. She had never played with another dog before in her life and she played with Lucy. I don't think you are trying to replace her at all. I will always have multiple dogs in my life just because I don't think I could live without at least one dog for a day. Good luck in making your choice..
I dont agree with keeping a dog in pain and you are obviously dealing with your Nicky in the best way you can so I dont really see why that is a issue with others.
I agree with the above poster, We had a puppy around an older dog and its like 2 puppies again. It doesnt aways work out the way people expect it to. I also find its easier to have a loving face to snuggle into when the deaded does eventually happen. I find it helps, it doesn't make a death any easier but having another dog really makes a difference to me.
Both of the dogs are gorgeous, I hope you can give one a happy home
Wow, What some harsh things being said.
I know what your going through Catnapper. I had my RB Tasha.. for 13 yrs. She was 14 when we PTS. When she was about ummmm 8 or so, she stopped being able to walk. I didn't know what was wrong! she was always VERY active.. But, she sat in the spare room.. CRYING.. And wouldn't come to me. I Picked her up.. and Layed her in the room with my mom when I woke her up.. We took her to the vet. They Did Xrays,and found out she had Arthritis in EVERY vertibre in her back. So, they gave her a steroid Shot, and she was on Limited Activity for the rest of her life.. PAHHH Yea.. if anyone knew her, knew that was IMPOSSIABLE! He told me to keep her away from the other dogs, cause if they jumped on her.. it could paralyze her. I didn't care. She wouldn't have been happy that way. So, I figured best thing is to just let her be.. Normal. And if it happened again.. Then. I would go from there. She was alright till we pts. And she had bad days where she couldn't get up and down much.. But that is it. She was a Shep/Greyhound, and LOVED to run and Play tug. Well, One morn I woke up.. and we knew for the year up to it.. it prolly wasn't going to be much longer. And she was more or less my Moms dog.. so I was trying to prepare her for it. And When I woke.. I could tell something wasn't right.. And In a matter of like 5 hrs.. she wasn't walking again! :( So, I Bawled my eyes out.. and told my mom we needed to take her to the vet. Well, we got there..and she got up, and started walking... We were like.. Ok, Maybe she will be ok. So, they gave her a steriod shot.. and said go on home..and see if this helps.. if not.. come back. .and we will talk alternitives.. We went home.. and she got worse. We took her back to the vet, and was told it would cost 5k or more to run tests.. that MAY or MAYNOT find a problem. We don't have that kind of money for a maybe. So, we pts. It was the hardest decision in the world for us! it was the first time I saw my husband cry. But, a week after.. a friend of mine had a dog that needed a home. I took her in. and She comforted my mom more then I had seen in a while. She was very Loving. And very Sweet. We had her about a yr.. and found her the Perfect home. But, the fact that we brought in another dog.. helped my mom cope with the loss of Tasha. It wasn't a Replacement. and I didn't bring her in as a permanent thing.. It was a foster thing.
But the Bottom line is. People tend to get dogs to "replace' there passed dog.. But.. Not everyone. Sometimes getting another makes the adjustment Soo Much easier. And Elderly dogs tend to liven up A LOT with a youngin around. Tasha was NEVER alone. She had a cat the first year with us, and then as time passed, I had fosters, and took in new ones. So, thinking of her being alone wouldn't be something I think she would want. Heck Nicki may like to know that you have someone to comfort you when she is gone. And it may brighten her up as well. I say GOOD FOR YOU! ONLY You will know when it is time!