Got my mail this morning. In it an envelope from my mom. Inside that a note and a Cdn $50 bill. The note said to go get myself a fluffy housecoat and a pair of slippers to keep cosy in.
She's so bad.
Making me cry.
What a great mom I have!
Printable View
Got my mail this morning. In it an envelope from my mom. Inside that a note and a Cdn $50 bill. The note said to go get myself a fluffy housecoat and a pair of slippers to keep cosy in.
She's so bad.
Making me cry.
What a great mom I have!
YAAAAY for moms! :D
What colour ya gonna get?:)
Usually, when I got to the anger stage, that was the beginning of my recovery. More hugs going out. :)
Oh I hope you're right about the anger stage being close to recovery. Guess time will tell.
OH slippers and a warm housecoat is just the ticket. especially with winter upon us
find a favorite TV show... curl up with a blanket either on the couch or right in your room in bed with the kitties and enjoy. THIS is healing. you will never be more comfortable and cozy.
we are all thinking of you still :D
Q.O.P. - and Rose - thinking of you both this weekend. Prayers for healing are being offered.
I hope so too, Gayle. When I felt anger, it seemed like I wouldn't feel weakness anymore. I give alot of credit to those support group people that empowered me to feel better about myself. I had lost so much self worth, it was what I needed to move forward and get better. You may not feel like doing it right away but it might come one day. Such a great feeling to go out and have coffee or tea or lunch/dinner with girls just like me. Every time, it was like a giant load was lifted from me.:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of Poop
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/f...h_PA310048.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/f...h_PA310049.jpg
The fleece housecoat and pants I found, as directed by my mom. They're so warm and snuggly! Thanks mom. Made me feel warm, cosy and safe. But didn't help me sleep at all. Can't wait until I can sleep again.
Get a copy of "Creative Dreaming" by Patricia Garfield.Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of Poop
Read it and try some of the techniques. Now, I can put myself to sleep in a few minutes, without even thinking about it. It really works, you just have to be patient and try it.
Thanks Richard, I will take a look for it. Order it if I have to. Doctor won't give me a sleep aid so I struggle thru.Quote:
Originally Posted by RICHARD
Not having the best day today, really riding the emotional roller coaster. Diego has done well though, napping a few times for an hour a time in my lap. He's such a good boy.
Can you try Advil or Tylenol PMs? Or Chloratabs (for allergies) also help me sleep when I cannot sleep. Sending good thoughts your way, and sleep vibes.
Amy
I am back in the same place with the sleep thing. :(
I was doing better, but the last few days I've boarded the emotional rollercoaster once again.
I had the sad task of telling my dear British neighbors (who just returned from Italy for the last 7 months) Their daughter lives next door year round and they stay for the winter months.
Well, it was a double whammy. As I was telling them that my husband is leaving me for another woman, they are telling me their daughter is splitting up with her husband (who still lives in London- long distance marriage for 3 years) That couple have both changed their positions (there is no other person involved) She got him a Green card, and he said: whoa, won't you come back to London -and have babies? Well, she doesn't want kids and he always knew that. Now, she says: she likes him as a friend, not a husband, after close to twenty years of being together.
That leaves my neighbors in a precarious position, as my husband had told me that he should have never married me, 12 years ago, and he thinks of me as a friend. They have to support her, and yet they do not support my husband for his misdeeds. Strange.
I am just so sick of people accidentally marrying their friends. And then oh, sorry about your life.
My husband's discontent just coincides with the appearance of this woman a little too much. I am choosing not to believe that I was part of a 16 year mistake. I consider him lost.
Gayle, just try an over the counter sleep aid, or a glass of wine at bedtime. I don't think the sleepless phase is going to last.....I hope.
Rose, you're definately not part of a 16 year mistake. He thinks he's found greener pastures on the other side of the fence. Too late he will realize what he's lost. In the meantime you will have moved on and found real, true happiness for yourself.
I sent an email today to the counsellor I was seeing a few years ago, who encouraged me to leave, who my husband made me stop seeing because of the encouragement. I've not heard back yet, I hope I do and that she will have some time to see me.
Progress, one tiny baby step at a time.
So everyone knows, I am absolutely done feeling sad and/or missing that lousy not soon enough ex-husband of mine. The liar, the filthy, filthy liar. Given it all I should not be surprised. :mad:
I am glad you're moving on! KEEP it up! Although, I feel you're angry..very angry. Being ANGRY is fine, it's the next phase, but rememeber feeling a different feeling IS MOVING ON! KEEP IT UP!Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of Poop
Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of Poop
Good for you Gayle.
That is a huge step. Nothing to miss there, really.
I hope you are finding moments of comfort too.
Thinking of you both today, QoP and RtCC and hope you've both had a good day.
(((HUGS)))
Getting stuff done today!
Got booked in with my old counsellor for Nov 18. Had to stop seeing her cause he felt she was talking me into leaving him - should have followed her direction not his! (hindsight)
Got his name put on the gas bill for the house so it doesn't come to me.
Last night sent a bunch of info to the lawyer.
Changed dentist appt to January, just can't do it now, been thru enough. Woman there was a hoot had a great chat about getting divorced.
Changed my beneficiary on my life insurance and RRSP.
All around I feel like I've done alot and I feel really good about it.
YAY!
Are Cali and Diego the new beneficiaries, by any chance? ;):D
Wow! What a lot of real accomplishments! You must feel so good.Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of Poop
You go, girl! Give yourself a pat on the back, at the very least. You deserve it.
Doesn't it feel good? :) We're all proud of you, pour yourself a good mug of hot chocolate to celebrate, and add all the marshmallows you want!Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of Poop
Nice work Gayle.Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of Poop
My neighbors have given me some melatonin tablets to try, to help me sleep. I'm really sleepy now, but it's not even 10pm yet. And then, later on, I'll be sleepless and thrashing in the bed from 3am on.
I have a Pet Guardian form to fill out. And I am going to have a will made.
I will have Siamese Rescue and PurrEver Ranch as my beneficiaries.
My meeting with the lawyer is on Thursday, with my 'husband'. Hopefully he will just sign off on what I'm offering him and I can rest a bit easier then. And no courts.
PT- please pray that he does not contest my settlement. Last Saturday he said he'd just agree to my terms. Hopefully, he'll leave me be, and not destroy me further. ( I can't believe that this is the same man who cared for old, sick Malfi, on our bed for 4 years)
Gayle- I'm really impressed by the strides you have made just in the last week or so. Keep it up, there are good things waiting for you.
Rose, I'm praying for you now and will keep fingers crossed on Thursday that it all goes the way you want it to. You're doing good too girl. The not sleeping is really crappy cause it makes the emotions all the worse. Sending you a good night hug across the miles to help you sleep.
Be strong. Ladies!!! {{{{{GAYLE AND ROSE}}}}}
way to go girls, you are both amazing, and strong women,remember your support group is always here for you,it takes courage to do what you are doing,i wish you both all the best, and Rosethecopycat,my thoughts are with you on Thursday, i hope all goes well, and fingers and all paws crossed here for you. HUGS to you both.
Would some chamomile tea help with the sleep at night, might be worth a try.
As far as sleep goes, I think you have to have a clear mind to sleep well. Not always the case but it sure is for me.
Have you ladies considered something like Ambien or Lunesta temporarily until you get past this difficult part? I don't think either are considered habit forming but they may be psychologically if nothing else. I'm not sure. Sleep deprivation is terrible for anybody and especially someone that's living through heavy stress.
I have insomnia so I have to use meidcation or I would never sleep. It's so hard. Best wishes to both of you.
I don't know about Rose, but I've seen my doctor twice now and he refuses to provide sleep meds. Believes it will work itself out eventually. If I start falling asleep at work however I am to go see him right away.
I know it's caused by everything that's going on, it is a struggle every day to focus my mind on other things. Best time is when I'm really busy at work cause then I can focus on that and not my tragedy.
I personally am not going to start taking prescription anything. I will be needing to secure health insurance for myself, and it's going to be disastrous, if I can get a policy at all. So, no anti-depressants or meds of any kind, unfortunately.
I wish I could use some brain bleach and get one good night's sleep. I know it won't be tonight, because of the lawyer appt in the morning.
Give yourself a good workout now, and then a nice warm cup of herbal (no caffeine) tea or hot cocoa right before bed.
If your brain keeps going, keep a pad of paper and pen by the bed table, so you can just write things down, then your brain may feel it can relax, and you can get some sleep.
Rose, pass me your worries for tonight and get a good nights sleep. I have nothing important tomorrow so if I'm kept up by both of our worries it will be ok.
You will do fine tomorrow.
Good luck today Rose!! I hope it all goes well.
Hoping also that you were able to sleep last night.
I gave this advice in another thread! It actually works well!! Good luck to both of you!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Karen
GOOD LUCK ROSE!!! Wishing you both all the best as always!!
Still thinking of you Rose. Hope all is well.
My first appointment with the Divorce Lawyer is November 23 at 2:30 pm. It's a fair walk from my office, so hopefully it won't be blowing snow that day!
Otherwise I am doing ok. Still in the anger phase, I think it might last a while. Looking forward to seeing my old counsellor on November 18. I think she will be able to help me immensely.
How did it go Rose? Are you ok?
Well, that appointment wasn't what I thought it would be.
I got, in effect, a load of homework. And this is supposed to be THE simplest way to get a divorce. The settlement, that I worked up, was not revealed. We both have to fill out financial affidavits and return them. Then there is a settlement form that has to be filled out after. So I'm wondering how I can get my wording into the form. It's just a who-gets-what thing, I think. But I want wording in there such as: if you take the ceiling speakers, you will have the drywall professionally repaired.
I can't stand the sight of my so-called husband now. This is all so stunningly fast. I was so in love with him only 7-8 weeks ago. How could this have happened? My lawyer kept on asking me if I was o.k. I was in just a stupor. Everything about my 'husband' bothered me. From his stretching and yawning, to him saying that he wants to 'respect' me.
Last night he was in the house, on the phone, and Mr. Jones, the Tux, was near him and he says: Mr. Jones, come say Hi to Ashley on the phone. Do you hear him, Ashley, he's being all lovey..
I feel personally breached, like she was in my house touching my cat.
That is not respect. You would never expect this from this man, who was so cheery and well liked. It's like a totally different person.
So, the lawyer says we need to 'drag our feet' till the New Year for tax purposes. Fine. Within the next few weeks he will see the settlement. He better go for it. He saw me pay the lawyer $750 today, which I do not have.
Thank you Gayle for taking on my worries, but you need to think about you!
I hope you sleep better and your days become a bit brighter, each one.
I think the fact that you can't stand him is showing that you're moving on to the next phase! It's a good thing. How absolutely rude to be in your house talking to HER!!! And to behave like an idiot while he's doing it. Gross me out!!
Don't worry dear, I think about me and my issues morning, noon and night. It is nice to take a break from it to have concern for you and your situation.
This makes me sick too!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrr :mad: :mad: :mad:Quote:
Originally Posted by rosethecopycat
Had alot of difficulty yesterday accepting the reality of what's gone on. Doing better this morning. It will be nice when the ups and downs even out some.
Same here, Gayle.Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of Poop
I am in the sheer disbelief mode this morning, after two days of disgust.