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I know I'm from Chicago because...
(These are new ones from the Chicago Architecture Foundation Web site.)
- You precede every past-tense verb with “had” and think every other verb should be a gerund. “He had been a stock broker and was wanting to live in Streeterville” instead of “He was a stock broker and wanted to live in Streeterville.”
- Your girlfriend describes every good thing as “amazing.” There are no other adjectives.
- You don’t bother looking up until there are at least three TV news helicopters circling overhead.
- If you see two or more military helicopters in the sky, you know traffic is about to be screwed up around The Loop, Hyde Park, or both.
- You listen to the news on AM radio even though the exact same program is available on an FM frequency.
- You’ve ever been late for work because of a drawbridge.
- You vocally refuse to go to chain restaurants, but freely tuck in to Al’s #1 Beef, Giordano’s pizza and Portillo’s hot dogs.
- You keep a few bucks in your pocket because even though credit cards have been around for nearly 100 years, none of the eateries on your block take plastic.
- It took you a while to realize that “Vote early, vote often” is a joke phrase, and not advice from the Cook County Clerk.
- When you see someone on the street arguing with himself, it’s usually crazy, not Bluetooth.
- You see a tragic gun massacre elsewhere in the country on the news and think to yourself, “That’s just a warm summer weekend in Chicago.”
- You went to the Billy Goat Tavern before Saturday Night Live.
- You still think Garfield Goose is the height of sophisticated humor.
- You breathed a sigh of relief when Rio got the Olympics.
- You’ve convinced yourself that limiting your thick-crust pizza to two toppings makes it a health food.
- You mentally heckle the geographical errors that inevitably show up in any movie or TV program set in Chicago.
http://www.funnysigns.net/files/dont...on-400x370.jpg
source: funnysigns.net
a little nurse humor...
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Did you hear about the dumb blonde who was asked to sign up for her company's 401(k)? She decided not to, because she didn't think she could run that far. :rolleyes:
"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." -- Dave Barry
A new "nurse" joke ... I have a friend who sends these to me every now and then.
The nurse was in her patient's room one day at the nursing home. He had been in a coma for over a year and they had tried numerous techniques to help him wake up. His family had brought a radio so music could be played for him. The nurse finished caring for the patient and turned on his radio to a pop station. As she left the room a Justin Bieber song was just starting to play. Moments later she heard a loud CRASH in the room and dashed back in. It was the patient! He was wide awake and fumbling for the radio dial, shouting: "Change the channel! Turn this off NOW!"
The nurse fainted.
It is getting to be that time again, and on cold days, I think of these!
That, and I had a high school music teacher who made a joke by substituting the word Lunch for Love in every song ...
What I did for Lunch
Lunch Story
and a current ...
Lunch Runs Out (One Republic)
What would you call a lowlife nincompoop thief?
Silicon. :rolleyes:
Q: What does a snowman wear on his head?
A: An icecap. :rolleyes:
Overheard in the music room yesterday at church as children's choir was getting started: Why did the football coach go to the bank? Because he wanted his quarter back. :rolleyes: