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Is there a place that's up high enough for her, perhaps a really tall cat tower or a series of shelves arranged in the manner of stairs that she could climb, preferably near a window? I can recall Jackson saying that cats are either cave dwellers or tree dwellers, at least I think that's the term he used. Anyhow, my point is that she's hiding in the litterbox b/c she feels safe there. If you give her a spot where she can be up really high away from everyone and that enables her to look out the window, she may be happier. Just a thought. :)
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Isobel, I am really inspired by your determination to "make this work"! Patience is the only thing I can suggest. Kudos to you for not giving up on your girl and doing everything you can for her happiness. There are other less famous communicators out there that may help you. Laura and her RIP Kitty Boo had someone help them with a break through in their relationship. I think something very small may have triggered this fear and it may help hearing her side of the story. Bless you for being an excellent Meowmie.
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Barbara is right on the money. Izzy may come around in her own time. She may not. It's HER call. If the behavior gets worse, then I'm sorry, I'd question your husband. Cats do NOT hate people unless they've been abused or tormented (even jokingly).
I admire your persistence. But if your husband is unwilling to make some changes, things will only stay the same or get worse.
If all else fails, rehome Izzy so she can get some peace. JMO.
