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Donna, if you're looking for closure, you could do some theraputic role-playing. It isn't at all dumb or silly, it's a way to allow healing to take place.
Utilize your imagination & have that phone call with your dad. Say what you need to say, listen to what your heart tells you he is saying. Do this in a quiet setting where you won't be disturbed. Cry, shout, plead, moan, do whatever you have to. Imagine settling all the unsaid business between you. Bless him on his journey, and allow him to go in peace.
I think that we have to let go here in order for them to move on, too. I had a lot of healing work to do when my dad passed away, we were never on good terms while he was alive. I can honestly say that I no longer carry that heavy burden of guilt & remorse. I know he's exactly where he should be, as am I.
((hugs)) :)
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No, it was not dumb at all. :( **HUG**
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One of my strangest experiences ever happened when my grandmother died. I guess it was a dream, or some kind of a vision. She had been under hospice care and not conscious for the past few days. I distinctly remember hearing and seeing her tell me, "I haven't had anything to eat or drink for a few days, but I'm all right now." The next thing I remember after that is the phone ringing, my sister calling to let me know my grandmother had died. That was in 2001, she died a few months short of her 90th birthday. Since then I have dreamed about her a number of times but nothing like that. The cemetery where both of my grandmothers are buried isn't too far from where I live, so I'll be heading over there since it will be Mother's Day next week.
Moosmom, I hope you have happy memories of your father. I hope your smelling cigar smoke and knowing he was around was a good thing. I don't think it was a dumb thing for you to have done, and I'm sorry you can't get better answers. ---big hug---
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Cyber-Sibes,
After my Dad died, I wrote him a long letter and sealed it. That was 10 years ago. I don't know what I ever did with it and would LOVE to see where my mind was at at that period in my life.
I thought about doing something like you suggested. I'm going to mention it to my therapist on my next appointment.
Tomorrow is going to be tough, as I'm sure it will be for lots of people who don't have their Moms to celebrate Mother's Day with. My emotions right now are all over the map. Of course that COULD be because I'm outta my medicine and the pharmacies are now closed. *sigh*
Cassiesmom,
I have alot of memories of my Dad, growing up and hanging out at Bolton Lake. Sometimes when I see someone we both knew or hear something, I want SO much to pick up the phone and tell him. :(
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