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....boarding pass to get on the paddlesteamer. You know what these Illinois gals are like ??? It's peace all the way."Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
"I'll give them peace alright' yelled Wom 'I'll give that lot on the paddlesteamer a piece of my trusty sword" With that, Wom yelled his war cry "Here piggy piggy" and jumped aft. But too late did he realise that he had constructed the raft without an aft, and he fell headlong into.............
manatee
muddy Mississippi." Man Overboard" shouts Bill. " Someone throw him a life preserver". Elyse shouts back, "We don't have a life preserver." " What should we do"? Bonny quickly grabs one of Wom's inflatible dolls and throws it in Wom's direct. Wom by now had gained his composure and was swimming around like a Manatee in Silver Springs. Just as Wom was about to get back on board with Bonny's help, Bonny....Quote:
wom
....boarding pass to get on the paddlesteamer. You know what these Illinois gals are like ??? It's peace all the way."
"I'll give them peace alright' yelled Wom 'I'll give that lot on the paddlesteamer a piece of my trusty sword" With that, Wom yelled his war cry "Here piggy piggy" and jumped aft. But too late did he realise that he had constructed the raft without an aft, and he fell headlong into.............
high clover
.......tripped on the bait bucket, and fell headling into the fish hold. "Get me out. Get me out' screamed Bonny 'This place smells worse than an Iowan pig sty in high clover."Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
"Ok everyone, we'll have to pick straws to see who'll help Bonny out of the fish hold" Said Bill. "Not me" Said Elyse. "Nor I" said Helen. "What about you Wom ?" Said Bill. "I wouldn't touch her with a twelve foot pole" Said Wom.''
"Well I can't' said Bill 'I guess you are on your own Bonny."
Green halibut
Thanks for nothing my so called friends. It looks like you won't be getting any dinner today these Green halibut look mighty tasty. Just think fried in butter with morel mushrooms on the side. Yum! Yum!Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
Everyone's stomachs are growling & they are frothing at the mouth just thinking about the delicious dinner they are missing out on. A Motley Crew they are.
Then low & behold Sana & Prince Charming show up to save the day in their Gondola. Sana being the polite young lady she is pulls Bonny out of the fish hold & chews the rest of the crew out for being so MEAN & UNCARING....
Sniff Sniff
......"How about some of that green halibut?" Said Sana and Prince Charming in unison. "Sure' said Bonny 'I'll make you my special Green Halibut Surprise. But first we need to get a couple of big ones out of the fish hold. Prince Charming, would you be a good boy and get some for me ??"Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
"No way' said Prince Charming 'All of that fish in the hold is rotting and green."
"Sniff Sniff ' said Bonny 'nobody loves my cooking any more, nobody loves me."
"Sure we do" said the rest of the crew as they approached with gas masks on.
Fire Hose
Gee Wizzles! You all look like you just came from Mars. I have a little grease fire going on down in the galley. I hope you don't mind blackened halibut or no halibut. Bonny goes back to tend to things in the galley. Comes back with this major announcment " We now have a more than major problem here"! "The galley is a fire". :eek: I suppose we don't have a Fire Hose to put the fire out? Everyone .......Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
Holy Halibut!
"Everyone grab a container and line up -- we'll do a bucket brigade till the fire trucks arrive!"
Elyse grabs a nearby plastic pail, races outside to fill it with water and shouts, "Holy Halibut! I've got a fish in my pail! Should I throw it back?"
sirens
"No bloody way.' Said Wom 'We'll eat it. It's gotta be better than Bonny's wheat flavoured ice cream and her corn flavoured pumkin pie." Just then a siren sounded just beyond the poop deck and...................Quote:
Originally Posted by cassiesmom
flatulence
the river patrol is chasing a speeding barge up the river. Bonny decides to give up cooking & go on a vacation. Tells the group to have their halibut, eat it & end up with flatulence........Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
jet plane
...and other assorted ailments.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
"Oh No !!!! " Everyone said. "You're not leaving us again Bonny. Please, you can't go on vacation now. Who will mop the deck ??? Who will be our captain now ??
At that, Bonny bursts into song..................
"All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waiting, he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could cry.
I'm leavin' on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, gang, I hate to go."
"Oh gawd' shouts Elyse 'would you stop singing ?? You're not even in tune."
" I'll second that' said Wom 'she sounds like a wailing cat."
Helen and Bill jump overboard to escape the terrible sound as..........
Foghorn
Wom... the fog rolls in it makes seeing anything impossible. Bill shouts " Helen are you ok." I'm ok", says Helen, if we had escaped Bonnies wiling it would be better".Bill says, "I dont's think that is Bonny making that noise". " I admit it sound about the same but I think that must be a Foghorn. " Could have fooled me," says Helen, "it has that same awful......Quote:
Oh gawd' shouts Elyse 'would you stop singing ?? You're not even in tune."
" I'll second that' said Wom 'she sounds like a wailing cat."
Helen and Bill jump overboard to escape the terrible sound as..........
ripit, ripit....ripit
.......sound that Bonny makes a few hours after she eats broccoli casserole.Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
"Hey Wom, throw us a lifebouy" Said Helen. "Sure thing" Said Wom.
Wom throws them a lifebouy, and as Helen and Bill reach for it, Wom pulls it back with a little bit of string he has tied to it. "Hee hee...gotcha" laughs Wom. "Aw comeon Wom, it's cold in here, give us the lifebouy" Said Bill.
"Ok Ok" Said Wom as he threw the lifebouy a few feet short of them. As Bill reached for it, Wom pulled it back away from them again. "Hah, gotchas again"
Wom laughs.
Just then, two little eyes surface in the river. Is it an alligator ??? No...it's Kermit the Frog !!!! "ripit, ripit....ripit" said Kermit as.............
It isn't easy being green
Just then, two little eyes surface in the river. Is it an alligator ??? No...it's Kermit the Frog !!!! "ripit, ripit....ripit" said Kermit as he starts to sing "It Isn't Easy Being Green".
"Kermit, why are you singing at a time like this?" asks Elyse. "Helen and Bill went overboard!"
Kermit answers, "Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here. I'm singing because..."
Cookie Monster
cassiesmom
.. I'm on my way to Sesame Street to see my old friend the Cookie Monster. I've got a new mystery box and I can wait to show it...Quote:
Kermit answers, "Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here. I'm singing because..."
Miss Piggy
......to Big Bird and Miss Piggy. "What' said Elyse 'you're not going to give us a show while you are here ??"Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
"Ribit well maybe ribet" said Kermit. "It all depends on the weather, whether you want me to do it or not....HAH !!! Got ya's"
Helen and Bill swam back to the boat, and were helped aboard by Wom with a fish hook.
"Ok everyone, be seated, Kermit is about to do us a show".
Drums roll....kokopup starts howling and Bonny's false teeth rattle as.......
Bing Crosby