my cat's gone

hello everyone! I've posted here before. I told you guys that I'm moving into a new home soon and will be adopting the strays i'm taking care of. well, as it turned out, the cat i'm taking care of at work disappeared. i haven't seen him for a week. this cat always wait for us every lunch time for his meal. but i havent seen him since monday last week. i feel so sad about this. i have been working with him patiently... he is hard feral and for the past 5 months that i've been feeding him, he still runs away when i get close. i'm new here at work, but my co-workers say they have been feeding him for 3 yrs already. i really don't know what happened to him and based from my experiences before, if i don't see a cat in 1 week, the odds of seeing him ever again are very slim. i was very determined to tame this cat... my company is actually moving by sept , that's why im trying to speed up the home finding process so i could bring him home before that time(i live in an apartment right now that doesnt allow animals) . right now my heart is breaking, i feel like crying every day when i put out leftover and some dry food in case he comes back. although the food bowl is empty the next day, i'm pretty sure it's not him eating the food. anyway, sorry for the long post... it's just that nobody understands how i feel, even my boyfriend doesn't realize how sad i am because of this. i guess i have to follow up on my home loan(i'm still looking after 2 kitties at my boyfriend's work) i don't think i can bear to lose anymore kitties right now.

Princess_Snow,

I also took care of a feral that I could not get close to. His name was Shadow and he lived in an abandoned building where there were crack and heroin addicts as well as homeless people. I went there 2x/day to feed him and he would always come when I called. I could never get more than 8-10 feet away from him without him running. As he scarfed down his food, he would keep his eyes on me at all times. This beautiful feral Tuxedo lived through 10 New England winters, getting fed every single day by one of our volunteers or, for the last 3 years of his life, me.

One day I went to his spot and called. He never came out. I kept going for over 3 weeks, leaving fresh food and water. It went untouched.

I felt sad, but knew that for a feral cat, 10 years is a LONG time to survive out in the wild. Usually, a feral cat's life span is only about 2 years, if that. I just told myself that Shadow decided to move on. You cannot beat yourself up over it either. As my Dad would always say, "Nature is VERY cruel".

It's okay to feel sad. Cats always go where there is a food source. Perhaps someone ELSE started feeding him.

All you can do now is say a prayer for him and look ahead. Believe me, there are MANY more of them out there. You did your best.

And don't ever feel like your posts are long or boring, because they're not. That's what we are all here for, support, encouragement and a shoulder.

((((((((hugs))))))))

I agree with everything that Moos mom has said.... and just want to add that you should never give up .... just find another feral in need.... God knows there are plenty of them just waiting for a kind soul like yourself!;)

So sorry to hear that! I'm sure he's just moved on and someone else is feeding him. Right outside the place where I cat-sit there used to be a female kitty who was very friendly but had collar. She used to come around day and night for feedings. This went on for years and sometimes she would disappear for weeks, but then return. Anyway, I found out from the neighbours that she was a social butterfly and would mooch off every house on the street. Sometimes she'd stay for a week at one house, then move on to the next. Teeka as I named her was captured by me and when I took her to the whitecoats, I was told she was about 12 yrs. old. She's now living out her very happy life in one furrever home, never to be a stray again.

Thank you everyone for the kind words. I had a good cry today. He will never be forgotten. I know I'll see him again one day, along with all my rb angels. It's just that this feeling is way too familiar and I wish I don't have to say goodbye to anymore kitties in a long time. You see, we moved here from another country a couple of years ago. We used to take care of about 20 stray cats in our home. When we have to move , we made sure to tell our relatives to take in at least some of them. As it turned out they never took them in. A former neighbor told us that these poor cats where placed in a sack and thrown some other place by the owner of the apartment we used to live in. A part of me died that time. That must have been the most traumatic thing that happened to me. I lost a lot of faith on people. I realized that even the ones you love could let you down. Our whole family had dreams about them for a long time. All three sisters and my mom couldnt stop crying for months. So now, I make it my mission to make a difference to some lives I encounter. I could not help all of them but I will try to save as many as I can. Thank you everyone for your support. My only hope is that wherever my babies are, they are not suffering anymore. I will see them soon.