My grandmother is going to pass :(

My mom just called me and told me my grandmother is in the hospital yet again, with fluid in her lungs. They were full 70% with fluid. I guess the medicine that they were giving her to thin her blood made her worse. This just makes me sad, because I have only ever met my grandmother twice. Once when I was a little girl, and do not recall any of it, and once when I was 17. I do not know any of my family, and it really really sucks to say the least. I have never met any of my cousins, uncles etc. I have met one aunt, my aunt Counsuelo, but that was for her wedding when I was 17, the same time I met my grandmother.

Now that I have kids, and especially since I have had Kai, family is becoming a much bigger part of my life. I just do not understand how my family thinks. I talk to my sister almost every day, though I haven't seen her in years. But I make it a point to talk with her, so that we do not become "lost" like everyone else in my family has. I do not know anyone else who has never met their aunts or uncles or cousins. :( Heck, I haven't even seen my mom in years!!!

No one has come to visit Kai since he was born, and he will be a year this coming May. :( My mom has only seen Dylan about three times, the last time when he was about 9 months old. It's just not right. I don't understand why people do not care. My family takes trips to California all the time, and they have seen my brother and his son several times, but everyone just leaves us hanging. It really upsets me. Now, the grandmother I hardly know is passing away. Am I supposed to feel sad? I do not know this women. What makes me sad is the fact that I did not have the chance to get to know her before she dies. Not only that, but my children will never have the chance to see their great-grandparents. Heck, I would be surprised if they will even know who their grandparents are. My father has only seen Dylan once, when he was 4 months old, and has not seen Kai either. I'm just very sad about it. :(

Aww im sorry about your grandmother and im sorry about you not seeing your family. I wish I could see my family more also but atleast I know my aunts and uncles or atleast most of them..

I am very sorry that your grandmother is so ill. But it sounds like this illness has given you a new determination to reconnect with your family. Plan a nice vacation to see the family members you haven't seen in a while. No sense in worrying about who made the last contact or traveled to see whom, just make your own plans to take your children to see their family. It is what you want, and it is what you want for your children. {{{Hugs}}}

Sorry to hear about your grandmother, I hope her passing is peaceful.

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Originally Posted by Ginger's Mom

I Plan a nice vacation to see the family members you haven't seen in a while. No sense in worrying about who made the last contact or traveled to see whom, just make your own plans to take your children to see their family. It is what you want, and it is what you want for your children. {{{Hugs}}}

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Good advice!

Thanks. It is just hard with everyone being so far away, and I don't even have numbers to any of my relatives. I keep asking my mother, but either she doesn't remember, or just doesn't want to give me the info. I plan on visiting my father this summer hopefully, and then I can also see my brother as well, as they both live in California.

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Originally Posted by luckies4me

It is just hard with everyone being so far away

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I am sorry to hear about your grandmother.

Sometimes, circumstance make it difficult to connect up with family. Set a good example for your children by teaching them and showing them how important relationships are, and making friends. Friends are local and easier to connect with. No, it is not the same; but relationships ARE key.

My Dad's family is Italian and was local when I was a child growing up so we saw them ALL the time. We spent holidays with them and 'just any ole days,' as well. Being Italian, they are all touchy feelly, kissing and hugging at the drop of a hat. So I grew up with that, considered that normal.

My mum was born and raised in London, England; came here after WWII, met my Dad, and married him. I barely know her side of the family. When I was 16, mum took my brother (then 8) and I to London for a 3 week visit. She had not seen the family there in 22 years. Keep in mind, everyone wrote regularly, and phoned a few times per year. Can you imagine my shock when my uncle (mum's kid brother, the one she was closest to) pulled up to meet us at the bus stop and all he said was, "are these all your bags?" No hugs, kisses, nothing. It's a cultural thing as much as anything. Also, my mum was about 6 when WWII started, 17 when it ended, she grew up with bombings all around her. It shaped the whole generation, not just her family.

You may find some insights if you think about the backgrounds of the people involved, their relationships to their family members, etc. At least that will help you understand, even if you don't agree with it.

One thing that makes it difficult for me, is that my children's fathers have all their family here. My sons know all of their family, but none of mind. :( Hopefully the offer made on my mothers house will work for them, and if they sell their house she plans to come and visit. I have been waiting forever to see them, and I really want them to see Kai. So I am keeping my fingers crossed that the sell goes though and they make a trip up here.

I've actually been thinking of trying to get a family reunion together, but I'm not entirely sure anyone would make it. :rolleyes: