I feel Like a Heel!!

I just got home a few minutes ago, from taking the kids bowling, and there was a message on the Answering machine from my mom. So I called her back, and she wanted to come up and take the kids to a movie. Unfortunately the kids are scattered to the wnds today, with Birthday parties, and I have my Bowling league in a few hours as well. So we made plans for mom to come up after work next friday, and spend the weekend with the kids. So after we got done talking and had hung up the phones, It just dawned on me, that this is the first weekend my mom is all alone after Dad's passing!:eek: I feel like such a heel! I cannot believe that i didnt realize this before!! Times like this, are when I wish my mom lived just a little closer! She only lives a bit over an hour away from me, but it is just enough to make things hard you know?? Had I realized I wouldnt have had the kids make all of these plans! :( I feel so bad!!

Hey, you cannot be omniscient. She will get used to time alone, that just takes time. Making an extra effort to fill it up is just sort of psotponing the inevitable. Letting her know you care is most important, more so than filling the hours.

I know Karen I realy do. It is just so hard! I have been bawling my eyes out since I got off the phone, cause I feel so bad, and I know darn well that she is sitting at home doing the same thing. :( My mom has never been on her own before, she has always had someone, or us kids you Know?? I understand she has to get used to it, but it still sucks non-the-less.:(

Don't feel too bad, Maggie.
It sounds like you live a busy life(a fun one, at that :)), and its easy for little details to slip past.

Maybe after your bowling league you can call her up again? Just to have a chat and to let her know you love her. You can make things up next Friday. =]
((((hugs))))

I really dread the day I move out, my mum will be all alone, aswell.

How about having each of the kids phone and let her know what they did today?

I know, the first weekend, it is tough for her. Over time she will get adjusted, but I can appreciate how you feel.

I would have felt bad too. :( Can you send flowers & a short little note
to let her know you are thinking about her till you both meet later. She can
know you have not forgotten about her.

I was going to suggest a phone call too. I know when I'm lonesome or having problems, a call to my brother helps a lot. Just knowing I'm not alone in a big big world can do wonders!

Maybe just call and ask if she would like to chat a bit.

Call her back and tell her how you feel. I know she'll appreciate it.

I like all these ideas... Hugs and prayers!

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Originally Posted by RedHedd

Call her back and tell her how you feel. I know she'll appreciate it.

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My thoughts exactly. My mom lived 3 hours away and, after my dad's passing, I cried buckets thinking of her being alone for the first time, so I worked things out among my sisters and me to have one of us there for a while. If that isn't an option for you, give your mom a call. She needs to know that she isn't alone and even though I'm sure she realizes that on an intellectual level, the sound of your voice and those of her grandkids will be a healing balm to her broken heart. It will be just what she needs until she sees you all again soon.

Thanks all. I did call her, I talk on the phone with my mom 2-3 times a day. She actually did just fine last night. She decided sitting at home was not good, so she went shopping! he he he!! Like I told her, shopping will fix anything!:D Shopping is a new experiance for my mom, as Dad wouldnt let her do such Frivolous things(long story:rolleyes: One of the many reasons my step-dad and I didnt get along) So she actually had a good time. We talked on the phone for quite some time today as well, and she is looking forward to comming up next weekend. So all is good. I guess I just worry too much.

It was funny tho, I called her this morning, and she wasnt home, so the Answering machine picked up, and it was my Step-dads message!:eek: It was creepy, cause the way he set it up, it seemed like he had answered the phone, you know, like it wasnt the machine at all!:eek: Just a tad bit freaky!! I told mom, and she had forgotten all about it, and is having my Brother chane it today.

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Originally Posted by critter crazy

Thanks all. I did call her, I talk on the phone with my mom 2-3 times a day. She actually did just fine last night. She decided sitting at home was not good, so she went shopping! he he he!! Like I told her, shopping will fix anything!:D Shopping is a new experiance for my mom, as Dad wouldnt let her do such Frivolous things(long story:rolleyes: One of the many reasons my step-dad and I didnt get along) So she actually had a good time. We talked on the phone for quite some time today as well, and she is looking forward to comming up next weekend. So all is good. I guess I just worry too much.

It was funny tho, I called her this morning, and she wasnt home, so the Answering machine picked up, and it was my Step-dads message!:eek: It was creepy, cause the way he set it up, it seemed like he had answered the phone, you know, like it wasnt the machine at all!:eek: Just a tad bit freaky!! I told mom, and she had forgotten all about it, and is having my Brother chane it today.

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I'm glad everything worked out so well with your Mom. :) :)

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Originally Posted by critter crazy

It was funny tho, I called her this morning, and she wasnt home, so the Answering machine picked up, and it was my Step-dads message!:eek: It was creepy, cause the way he set it up, it seemed like he had answered the phone, you know, like it wasnt the machine at all!:eek: Just a tad bit freaky!! I told mom, and she had forgotten all about it, and is having my Brother chane it today.

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It does seem as if your mother is doing quite well. Good for her and good for you staying in touch like you are. That would mean a lot to me.

My sister passed away last August. My brother-in-law still has his answering message say that she nor he can come to the phone right now. I wonder if I should say anything to him about it? He still hasn't sorted out any of her clothing either, but that I can understand one would do when they feel ready. The answering machine message is something that is kind of *out there*.

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Originally Posted by Rachel

It does seem as if your mother is doing quite well. Good for her and good for you staying in touch like you are. That would mean a lot to me.

My sister passed away last August. My brother-in-law still has his answering message say that she nor he can come to the phone right now. I wonder if I should say anything to him about it? He still hasn't sorted out any of her clothing either, but that I can understand one would do when they feel ready. The answering machine message is something that is kind of *out there*.

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awww....well some people justneed more time. but it could be like y mom, and just didnt realize it was still like that?? Or maybe, it is the only way he can still hear her voice??

Mom has already gone through all of dads things, all his clothes were sent to the Salvation Army, his Walkers, canes, and such was donated to the Nursing home. She even went through her Pantry(mom dosent Cook) and Donated most of the food to the local Food Bank.

I guess in all reality mom is handling things pretty well. The only thing, she dosent handle well is being alone, but that is just natural I guess.

I understand how you feel. But you need to remember that your mom is ... a mom. She without a doubt remembers when her own kids were young, and she too was a cook, housekeeper, maid, taxi driver, etc. She understands. And she would have it no other way.