"PURR"-litical Correctness
--My cat does not barf hairballs,
he is a floor/rug redecorator.
--My cat does not break things,
she helps gravity do its job.
--My cat does not fear dogs,
they are merely sprint practice tools.
--My cat does not gobble,
she eats with alacrity.
--My cat does not scratch,
he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.
--My cat does not yowl,
he is singing off-key.
--My cat is not a "shedding machine",
she is a hair relocation stylist.
--My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile,"
she enjoys the proximity of food.
--My cat is not a bed hog,
he is a mattress appreciator.
--My cat is not a chatterbox,
she is advising me on what to do next.
--My cat is not a dope addict,
she is catnip appreciative
--My cat is not a lap fungus,
he is bed selective.
--My cat is not a pest,
she is attention deprived.
--My cat is not a ruthless hunter,
she is a wildlife control expert.
--My cat is not evil,
she is badness enhanced.
--My cat is not fat,
he is mass enhanced.
--My cat is not hydrophobic,
she has an inability to appreciate moisture.
--My cat is not lazy,
he is motivationally challenged.
--My cat is not underfoot,
she is shepherding me to my next destination (the food dish).
