"Chocolate is a Vegetable"
In honor of borzoimom getting her surgical staples removed http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=119534 -
this has been in my e-mail box a couple of times and never fails to give me a smile, so I thought I would share it with my Pet Talk friends. On a more serious note I've also read that dark chocolate (but not milk chocolate) contains anti-oxidants, which have health benefits.
Here goes. "Chocolate is a Vegetable", author unknown.
Chocolate is a Vegetable: Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.
Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.
Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. (This theory is being tested with other snack foods as well.)
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.
If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?
REMEMBER: "Stressed" spelled backward is "desserts".
