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Inspired by Richard's peeve thread, I thought I would start this one up.
I saw this on an internet dating site. In describing his ideal woman, one man wrote: "Got to be educated."
Get me to the head of the line for HIM!
Of course, that doesn't even come close to: "Needed immediately - soulmate."
Any other funny lines you have heard?
This isn't a line but a add in Pensacola, Florida (News Journel I think) My niece was looking at the help wanted adds, there was a add, "Housekeeper needed, $20 a hour, must clean in the nude......." :eek:
(Funny part is my niece said she is going to call that number! :rolleyes: )
Taking Laura's cue, I'll post one that was an ad also and I've kept it on my notice board at work for years:
For information in willing your organist after death, please send a long, stamped, self-addressed envelope to "The Living Bank".
Well,
The mayor of Lost Angeles first empowered the kids to walk out of their classes to support the immigration bill.
In todays paper he asked them to go back to school.
reason?
The schools lost almost 1 mil dollars and the police department has been on an alert because all these morons are running around...
Sorry, that was no a line.....but a stupid real person, my mayor Antonio Villaraigosa.
Richard - better come up to the Canadian Rockies for a break! lol
A friend went to a fast food place and asked for a taco "with minimal lettuce" and the person behind the counter said "I'm sorry, we only have iceburg lettuce". :rolleyes:
Speaking about fast food......I was in McDonald's drive-thru about a year ago. I placed my order and said "to go please". :rolleyes: :p :D
My husband is notorious for speaking before he thinks things through and then immediately getting that "duh, I should have known that" look on his face.
Here's an example:
The first time we watched "Pirates of the Caribbean", he commented on the scenery in the movie and asked me where I thought the movie was supposed to take place...
...I replied, "probably in the Caribbean"
I'm a blonde, so I have my fair share of stupid lines lol, so here's one. I was talking to one of my friends and my sis and we were discussing a kind of sensitive matter, and I remember I was a little worried about stating my opinion, so I said to them, "I mean, I'm afraid to get you guys mad at me because of my opinions, but I don't have any opinions." :rolleyes: :o That is one of my most blonde lines lol. I do have opinions, just for a heads up lol.
I asked for a BLT just a few days ago and was asked "lettuce, tomato and mayo with that?". I wanted to say "no thanks.." and see how she made it :rolleyes:
I posted this in the Peeve thread but as Lobodeb suggested it might fit here as well.
Today when ordering lunch I told my co-worker who was on the phone with another co-worker what I wanted.....a vegetarian cheese sandwich. He proceeds to ask if I want meat on that.....um, that would be a negative, hence forth the vegetarian part. :rolleyes:
My personal favorite: "I love the new Dollar General. You don't have to get all dressed up to go there, like you do with Walmart."
Go ahead... try to beat that one.
These inspire Bill Engvall-esque "Here's your sign" followups! :D :p
No way.......... :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by sirrahved
I was at the Vets with Baby Pouncer,my first visit.
The receptionist said youre next Sir!
Oh should I bring the Kitten?
Strained Silence as People tried not to laugh in My Face!