I need to vent a little...

[moosmom]

This has nothing to do with my move. It DOES have to do with my wedding gift to my nephew and his wife who have been married for 4 years now.

I gave him MY mother's (his grandmother's) dry sink. It has a copper lining and, okay, so it needs refinishing. He told me once his renovations to his house were done, he had the perfect place for it. When David's mother (My former sister-in-law) moved into her house, she put the dry sink in her garage. I had planned to refinish it but was too busy looking for jobs. I went to put boxes in there and found the dry sink shoved in a corner with all sorts of crap piled on top and in front of it. :mad To me, that was like shoving my mother in the corner.

I supposed I'm not in any kind of emotional state for this kind of thing, but I am angry as hell. I gave him my Dad's flag and dog tags for which he shoved up on a shelf and let collect dust, rather than getting a case for it. I told him I needed it back for a project I was doing. I bought a case for it and it's going to CT with me!!! It is QUITE obvious his family heritage means nothing to him or he would have proudly displayed it somewhere near my father's naval picture that I also copied for him. I thought he would have appreciated it seeing as he served in the armed forces.

I have decided that I'm taking the dry sink out of the garage and giving it to my friend Kathy, before I leave. They probably won't even notice it's gone. At least I know it'll be cared for and displayed by someone who appreciates fine, old furniture.

Thanks for listening.

[wolflady]

That's too bad that your family heirlooms haven't been as treasured as they should be. Sometimes some family members just don't know how valuable such things can be. Something very similar happened on my mom's side of the family, and it has left some bitterness between my mom and her brother. When my grandpa passed away (grandma passed several years before he did), my mom's brother swept in and sold off everything he owned without even asking my mother if she wanted anything first. It was very sad and very rude of him to do such a thing because there were a lot of family heirlooms my mother would have liked to have. There was also a painting of my grandfather that someone had done that I would have liked to have, but alas...nobody knows where it went
I definitely think it would be worth it to get these special items and give them to someone who would appreciate them.

**hugs**

[Logan]

After my grandfather died, my grandmother decided to sell her home (it was way too large for her to live alone in), but she also decided to sell the contents without ever even discussing them with her children. She did the same thing with a piece of lake property that my grandfather had built a home on, out of rocks from the lake when it was being built. My mother and her brothers never really got over that. They have very little of their heritage to share with the rest of us. It is such a shame when anyone doesn't consider the value in these things.

Logan

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

My heritage is worth a lot to me! I cannot understand why some people, like your brother,is so careless with family antics...
Few months ago, my sister brought an old picture of my grandparents' grandparents ( real word??) to the photographer. She ordered a replica for my brother and me. Wow, it is gorgrous; it will get a special place in our house!

[sasvermont]

I hear you. Not everyone has the same attachment to things that you have.... I have stories that would curl your hair when it comes to caring about heirlooms.....or not......

I would do what you think is best and then let it go. They probably won't miss any of the items. Maybe they are too young to appreciate it.

Don't worry yourself about how they feel, and just take the items back.

Sas

[moosmom]

SAS,

Let it go is exactly what I'm going to do. I'll talk to Kathy tonight about having her husband drive the Explorer over there to pick it up.

My daughter thinks I'm an indian giver (no disrespect intended) and should leave it where it is.

My nephew (not my brother) obviously doesn't care and has never mentioned it. He does have my Dad's wristwatch from when he retired from the Newspaper. I gave my father's pocket watch to my brother. He appreciated it.

Oh well, onto more packing.

[Lobodeb]

I hear you. My mom's sister did the same thing when their dad passed. Only her sister didn't wait until he passed to start moving things that they wanted out of the house, they did it while he was still alive.

The same thing happened when my dad passed away. He did on a Saturday and the next Friday, they had a garage sale to hock off all of his things. They didn't ask me if I wanted anything.

[moosmom]

It amazes me how people's actions and dispositions change dramatically when someone they love dies. They see $$$$$$$$. My father and I discussed every aspect of him dying in great detail, who gets what, etc. He was VERY adamant that I take anything and everything in his apartment. No, he didn't have a will, and I was his sole caregiver for 2 1/2 years with absolutely NO help from my brother or my useless stepsisters.

When my Dad died (he was found dead in his apartment), I immediately called a moving company and took most of it. I held off putting his obituary in the newspaper because I KNEW the minute my youngest stepsister found out he was gone, she'd be all over me like flies on poo for her Mom's wedding ring and engagement ring (that my Dad gave her). Sure enough, that's what happened. I stuck to my word with her and told her she could have them when he was gone. I had no use for them.

She came by one day with a new "boy toy" figuring she'd get the rings and leave, and while I was cleaning out his storage bin, she kept asking me about the rings. I told her she'd get them when she helped me clean out the apartment. 10 hours later, I handed them over to her. It's been 8 years and I haven't seen nor heard from her since. Just the way I like it.

I have a will, thank you very much. And I strongly suggest anyone they have one drawn up as well. Or better yet, give the stuff away while you're still alive so you KNOW it'll be going to the right person.

[Lady's Human]

Sorry to hear about the dry sink, Donna. It's a shame to see an heirloom sitting in the garage.

On the will side of things, we have a very keen understanding of what happens when people die. We had a family "War of the Roses" when one of my father's relatives died, and I think all of my siblings agree that anyone fighting over a will will be brought out back and hung (rope is cheap, bullets are expensive).