Sorry

[slleipnir]

NOTE: This is NOT ment for a 'I'm feeling sorry for myself again' post. Please don't take it that way.

I just wanted to appologize to everyone. Appearintly I've been letting my fustrations out a little more then wanted on here. A few people commented on my drawing thread that I was feeling sorry for myself cause I said I wouldn't post them any more. Please know that I just didn't want to bug anyone, like Jamie (or whoever) said, it's my interest and maybe not other peoples. Thats why I said it cause I felt I was annoying people. I have a tendancy to push my interests on to others. I don't think my drawings are bad, and I wasn't having a pity party.

Now I say I don't care if a lot of people don't reply to them, but I know deep down I feel hurt which is maybe why I said that even though I didn't mean it. Most people don't care, however I'm struggling everyday with my emotions and I'm starting to lose again. I just wanted to tell you all I'm sorry if I act poorly or if I feel sorry for myself..which I probably do too. I don't mean any bad by it.

Also, I really don't want you to think I'm feeling sorry for myself or looking for attention by posting this. Please try to understand me for a minute. The thing I hate more then anything else is feeling that people don't like me, that I've hurt someone, or that someone is annoyed with me. I don't know why, but that is the ultimate low for me. I love to help people, and I love to make people happy but I can't even seem to do that right any more.

I just wish people could understand me. I feel like I'm stranded on an island which no one knows exists. That I'm empty and useless. I often try to find reasons to live everyday and lately I've been even having trouble with that. I tell myself other people are worse off then myself. I have 4 of the best pets if the world for me, I have a house to live in and fresh food to eat and clean water to drink. Somehow I still can't help but feel how I do. My dad is annoyed with my a lot it seems, and I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. I don't know what's wrong with me and I don't know why I feel this way. It hurts so bad sometimes I don't know how I manage to coup.

I know I got offtopic but it really helps me to type all this. I hate posting this type of thing so I'm sure I'll delete it.(just a warning so you don't get mad)

I just want to say I'm sorry and I hope you guys can forgive my stupidity

[CamCamPup33]

Hashy, I think your drawings are awesome, and i think you should keep posting no matter who says anything. And i don't think you have anything to be sorry for.

And, you know im always here to talk if you need me.. AIM or through PM'S. Im here.

Amber

[popcornbird]

I have no idea what happened, but I'm sorry you feel this way Audrey. I always look at your drawings and try to reply, but there are times when I can't reply to every single thread I view. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy them. I love your drawings. You know that!

Please don't feel that way.

[slleipnir]

It's not cause of that really, I've felt crappy for a long time and I don't know why

[Logan]

Audrey, I would just like for you to feel better about yourself, period. You are a bright, talented, young woman. Concentrate on the positive things if you can. I do hope that things will be better for you. Please know that there are many of us who care about you out here and will keep you in our prayers.

Logan

[slleipnir]

Trust me, I try to concentrate on positive but my mind is stuck in negative mood. I've been told to stop thinking negative and think positive, think of what I have and not of what I don't. But to be honest, I can't even tell anymore when I'm thinking negatively. It just happens liek it's normal for me. I can't tell you things that are good about me cause I don't believe such things exist. I've been asked to name good points about myself, but I just can't find any. It's really easy to say such things, but it's extremely hard for me to do it.

[micki76]

Audrey, you need to see someone about the way you feel. It's not healthy or normal. You sound like you are in a deep clinical depression.

[GoldenRetrLuver]

Audrey.

I've felt the way you do, believe me. I find that writing poems, reading, hugging my dogs, and trying to force myself to think of all the positives [even though I know it can be tough, just like you mentioned] help me. I know it can be difficult, but just remember that every one of us cares for you here. You know I'm always here if you need to talk about anything.

I, for one, LOVE seeing your drawings. I'll never have the kind of talent you have, and I'm always amazed with your creativity. Don't care or worry about those who just like to cause trouble. If you enjoy sharing and posting your newest drawings, then do it! The people who love seeing your drawings far, far outweigh the ones who don't, if there are any.

You have Josie, Zeke, Kiba, Smitten, and all of us here to help you. Just don't hesitate to talk to me if you need someone to talk too, okay? {{{hugs}}}

[slleipnir]

I am, actually...It might be anxiety...I don't know but it's still hard.

[gini]

Audrey, I too, would recommend that you see a Dr. It is not normal for you to be feeling down all of the time.

It is quite possible that there is a physical reason behind your feelings that could be diagnosed.

YOU are important - YOU should be enjoying life. If for no other reason, do it for your pets!

[dappledoxie]

I know how you feel! I do that too, alot, it's like I'm always worried about if someone's mad at me, thinks I'm stupid, or whatever, and I can't help it. I tear myself all up inside, I just try not to think about it, call a good friend to go and eat and chat, hug the pups, play with them outside, bath em or something that takes my mind off the stuff that's got me stressed, I sometimes think I have an anxiety problem, it sucks.

Hugs!! I really hope you get to feelin better, we're here for you!

oh and I absolutley looooove your drawings and I loooove to see them too, I like art and I love to look at what other people do too

[slleipnir]

I don't really have any friends..

[dappledoxie]

I only have like lol umm 2 but they're really fun to be around, but me being me am more of a homebody, I don't really like to go to a bunch of places but I do like to go out to dinner. I'm sorry, I really hope that you get through this rut, it can be really hard to get through though, but we're here for ya! I have way more online friends than friends I can see in person.

[slleipnir]

My mom is really the only person I consider to be a good friend. I have more fun with her and her friends then anyone else except for maybe people I know that I only see once a year.

[robinh]

Wow!! I just checked out your website. You are GOOD! Please keep up this work. You have some real talent.

I will agree that you might want to talk to a Dr. about your feelings. I really think it would help.