If you're in the job market right now you might want to
familiarize yourself with the Human Resources Lingo...
"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our
competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless
(and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the
position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is
just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager,
without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure
out what they want and do it.
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This is SO true...
There's an element of truth in every joke 
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