is it just kidding around? or not?

[G.P.girl]

we had an discussion today at school, it was about sexual harassment.
they said that any kind of sexual comment or touchy-feely act is sexaul harassment.
one of the guys on my football team always says
stuff like " hey sexy a**!" and at practice i'll hear
him telling the other guys how i have a good ***
and he'll come up to me and say " my ***** is
bigger than taylor's". the other guys tell him to
shut up and leave me alone but he does it in a
way so that most of them dont notice. all the
other guys are really nice and protective of me
they never say anything like that. i dont know
if i should just deal with it because if i complain
then maybe the guys will laugh at me or something.
do you guys think it is even harassment?
i mean i dont think a 13/14 yearold boy should be sayong stuff like that to a girl.
i dont think any boy should say that to a girl.

thanks for listening, i just wanted to get an opinion before i said anything to anybody

[curiosityrats]

If it bothers you, report it (to the principal or a school counselor or to a teacher you trust).

My mom is a high shool teacher and she reports sexual harassment when one student picks on another one that way. If it's unwelcome or if it makes you uncomfortable, it IS sexual harassment. (Even a dirty joke is sexual harassment if it offends you or makes you uncomfortable.)

Last year, she reported a boy who pulled down another one's pants (a "shank").

Yes, the boy was "just joking around" but the victim doesn't feel so good about it, and they need to realize this sort of thing is NOT to be tolerated. (That boy got suspended. Now he and those around him realize what sexual harassment is, and that it is BAD.)

[Kfamr]

I can't even believe you take that from a boy!

You are a young girl (as I am myself) and if any guy had the [nerve] to speak to me like that i'd smack them upside the head SO HARD that he'd be choking on his *thing that's 'bigger' than Taylor's*.

If I was you, I wouldn't even put up with that. I'd tell the school's conselour or principal, and if they did nothing about it --
I'd do something about it myself.

That's digusting and disrepectful and I don't know how you could put up with it!

[Kater]

I would report it as I do think it is harassment. This guy needs to learn that unwelcome sexual comments are not okay! I won't promise you that no one will be upset if you report it--- but you would be doing the right thing for him and for you.

Looking back on my middle school years I realize that I was sexually harassed on many an occasion in the seventh grade. I wish I had done something about it then.

I'm glad you felt comfortable asking us. I hope you are able to make a decision now.

[curiosityrats]

Oh, and flicking bra straps. Mom blew the whistle on boys who did that too!

(I wish I'd known about this stuff in middle school, because that happened to me too... It really needs put to a stop! )

[joycenalex]

yes it's harrassment and harrassers try to intimidate and bully their targets. he has the problem, not you, but he's trying to pass it over to you. tell the coach, the principal, a counsler or a teacher. tell an aunt, a minister and your parents. try to write down all the times he says stuff like that so you have a record, note dates, times, witnesses. you don't deserve to be treated badly by anyone, anywhere. regards

[iceyshiver21]

Did you ask him to stop?????
If you do and he doesn't then report it.

[stacwase]

There's a fine line between harassment and flirting - but my own definition (which works for me) is that if I like it it's flirting and if I don't, and I ask him to stop and he doesn't, it's harassment.

[Karen]

This is rude, wrong and harrassment. Yes, he's young, but if he's allowed to get away with this kind of behavior now, he won't learn that it is just wrong. Do report it to someone - teacher, counselor, someone. As has been suggested, tell him to stop. (He probably thinks he's being cool, and may even think it is flattery and he's flirting. It's not.) Be strong, but I do not advocate violence. Be prepared to be made fun of, but I bet others will be secretly glad someone is stopping him. Ask him to stop, tell an adult, then from that point forward, write down what happened and when, and who was with you. If the incidents continue, show your "log" to the adult you talked to. And, by the way, if the first adult you talk to doesn't take you seriously, don't give up. Try another.

[2kitties]

If it bothers you, then it is harrassment. Like Karen said, if he doesn't learn now, he never will.

[G.P.girl]

thanks guys,
i know he is not trying to bully me. but maybe he is just being flirty. i guess i'll just tell him, to stop. then if he doesn't i could tell the coach, he is my favorite teacher and i could tell him. but i'm afriad that if the other guys know they will beat him up and pick on him.
maybe i am being too nice, maybe i shouldn't care if he gets bullied or picked on....but i can't help it.
well football season only lasts for another week.
by the way we won our game yesterday. i almost made a touchdown . the team made six touchdowns i think, of course the other team didn't score any

[Cataholic]

Harrasment or not, it is completely inappropriate for anyone to make the sort of comments you are saying he is making.

[popcornbird]

I don't like the fact that someone is saying these things to you and getting away with it. I would *never* take that. I think I'd tell the teachers or someone else immediately. Its not good to have someone saying such things to you, whether its a joke or real.

[Tonya]

Yes, that is totally unappropriate. Yet, what offends one person might not offend another.

I am the only female at my job, so I deal with sexual harrassment quite a bit. Personally, I prefer to confront the person first. Some guys think they are just being funny. They do not realize it is offensive. If you are comfortable enough, talk to the guy first and let him know how you feel. If he continues after that, tell someone else.

[primabella]

Originally posted by Kfamr


You are a young girl (as I am myself) and if any guy had the [nerve] to speak to me like that i'd smack them upside the head SO HARD that he'd be choking on his *thing that's 'bigger' than Taylor's*.

LMAO

Well nobody has actually made comments like that to me (hmmm should I feel good or bad right now ) but if they did I would definitly tell them to stop. One of my guy friends poked me in the stomach as a joke once and it got me upset. It's like...don't touch me!

I think this guy is just being flirty but it is actually harassment. I don't even think he knows. There are guys in my class who will just push themselves up against a girl and act as if it was an accident. It's so pathetic and I would be so upset if I were them.

So yeah I would tell him to stop first and if he doesn't listen, turn to the coach.