OK this messed up my head a bit today for a number of reasons.
While waiting for some files to delete I stepped out for a smoke.
When I came back 5 minutes or so later my coworker K was face down on the floor. ᅠI thought he had passed out and tried to rouse him.
He didnt respond so I started yelling for J to call 911 as I rolled K over to see if there was a pulse. K made a noise while rolling him over and I noticed some Tums residue on his cheek, K had been complaining about heartburn all morning. Still trying to rouse K I wasnt feeling a pulse, that was reason 1.
While J was getting the EMT's rolling I froze up when I wasnt feeling a pulse. ve been certified in CPR in the past but its been awhile and... well I was told once that if I was unsure I shouldnt do it, thats reason 2.
J started CPR while I stayed on the phone with 911. While still on the phone I ran to get someone out front to get the 1rst responders upstairs as fast as possible.ᅠI couldnt watch the EMTs working on K past them starting cutting his shirt off. I heard them working on him and the chest compression machine going, reason 3.
After K was taken to Providence I realized I was the last person to talk to K and the 1rst person to find him, reasons 4 & 5. Reasons 6 & 7 are I've been real s**** to my dad and brother lately, and K is a father dont know if he is a brother though.
I couldnt focus on my job so I didnt clock back in after lunch and on my way home I found out that K passed and that even if I had been in the room when K went down it wouldnt have made a difference, reason whatever. Now tomorrow and the foreseeable future I have to work in a room where a buddy died, further reason.
RIP K.
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