Paizly Problem is over, sorta! #66 pix too!

[Taz_Zoee]

I thought I'd start a new thread and not polute Jax's intro thread. I wanted a place that I could go with issues relating to Paizly on Jax's arrival.

So, she is a nervous wreck! She still comes to us for attention, but you can just feel the tension in her body. Then you'll be petting her and she'll suddenly turn around and hiss and/or growl at you (even Zoee).
Just now Paizly was at one end of the house with Bruce trying to pet her and I was at the other end of the house and he said she would flinch with every sound I made. She's afraid the little cat is going to be out.

She will try her hardest not to walk down the hall if the door is open to the room where he is, even if the gate is up. Which won't last long because he's already learned to climb one gate so I've been putting up two. He'll figure that out quick.

This is breaking my heart. I know I haven't given it a chance yet and I do not intend on giving up. But it's just so difficult. I just need to vent things sometimes.

I will take any advice anyone has as well. I might not be able to do all of it, but I'll take it. Otherwise, thanks for listening to me.

[Catty1]

Since Jax is comfy in his carrier, maybe put him in there a couple of times where Paizley can sniff and not see him moving around in 'her' space.

Aside from that, just the usual..isolation, switching blankets/sleeping items each cat uses with the other cat's so they get used to the scent.

It's only been a day or so...chin up!

[katladyd]

My Mac is very, very, Alpha Cat and when I brought Ming into the house, things were very dicey for awhile. Mac was about 5 years old then and Ming was about 3 months old. Mac would get extremely agressive whenever he saw, heard, or smelled, Ming. It was horrible! It took two months before I could even THINK of allowing them to meet in the same room, with Ming in a carrier. I never gave up, but it was very hard and I had to have a ton of patience. One day, Ming slipped out of the bedroom and ran into the living room, and Mac. They fought hard and furiously for about three minutes and then they had it settled. Mac was Top Cat and Ming was his minion. To this day, 7 years later, it is still that way. Today they were sleeping together on the bed. Yeah, it willl happen.

[Taz_Zoee]

Wow, thank you for the quick responses ladies.

I know I haven't given it ANY time yet. But I just hate seeing her this way. I asked Bruce if he thought she'd ever calm down and he said yes. So that made me feel better.
I will do the thing with exchanging their scents. Actually, Jax doesn't have a problem. I was holding him and Paizly was hissing at him and he only fluffed up his tail, he never hissed or growled back.
It will be hard to do the carrier in the room and Paizly to see/sniff around it. She'll just run off and go under the bed, chair or in the closet away from it. But I'll give it a try later in the week.
I do have feliway spray. I could try spraying that on her collar. Thanks for the idea Tracey.

I love hearing success stories on this subject. Mac and Ming's story really gives me hope. Since I've sorta been through this once with Taz (age 13) and Paizly (age 2 months). But Taz tolerated her. He'd hiss or growl a teeny bit, but nothing like Paizly is doing with Jax.

I know I need to just have patience and relax. And I will work on that.

Oh, I almost forgot one question, again. When she is hissing and growling at him what do we do? Do we just ignore it and let it happen, or do we talk soothingly to her to try to help her calm down? It's hard to sit there and watch her throw a hissy fit, but I have been doing a bit of both. Ignoring it and talking calmly to her.

[krazyaboutkatz]

In the past I've just tried to ignore it and let the cats work things out. Now if she attacked little Jax and was hurting him then I'd intervene but if they're just rough housing then I'd leave them alone. I'm pretty sure that she'll remain the alpha cat and Jax will learn the pecking order very quickly.

If he was more aggressive and alpha like then you'd really have problems but his personality sounds ideal for Paizly. I've also found that it takes females a bit longer to accept new additions and they're much more vocal about everything. My Pearl sure was and she and Ziggy will still sometimes get into growling/hissing matches but it amounts to nothing. It's just a sibling squabble and nothing more. Good luck.

[Freedom]

I've had it take as long as 3 weeks before being able to allow the newbie to roam freely.

Slow, slow, that's the key. Maybe have him out with you and put HER in that room he is in with the door closed, so she gets used to his scent, while he explores and learns places to hide and such. But give that a few more days before doing that.

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm sorry to hear that Paizly seems to be so stressed out. Have you ever tried using Feliway spray or diffuser? This may help a lot because it has a calming effect. She's also probably hissing at everyone because she's trying to let you know that she's upset with this new arrival. In my experience this has only lasted 3-5 days but I know that some cats take much longer to accept another cat. My RB Sunny would just try to ignore the newbie and he wanted me to baby him even more. All cats are different so please try not to stress out too much because your animals will pick up this stress from you and they'll also become stressed. I'm sure that things will eventually work out. Good luck.

[MoonandBean]

And then, there was Bean's hissy fit when we got Sunny! You have to read this; it will make you laugh; and of course, I got great advice!!

http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=144136

[Taz_Zoee]

And then, there was Bean's hissy fit when we got Sunny! You have to read this; it will make you laugh; and of course, I got great advice!!

http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=144136

LOL, that's a great story!! The part about YOU being the one that should be drugged at night had me laughing! As a matter of fact, I have found an alcoholic beverage that I have taken a liking to. I've had it two nights this weekend. It just might do the trick. Oh, btw, I do not drink!

[Cataholic]

Slowly, slowly, and slowly. Slow this all the way down. Tell Bruce he runs the risk of ruining this introduction forever, if he can't slow it down. Your allegiance needs to be with your house kitty, not the kitten. The kitten will adapt.

Also- cats read us like books. Please calm yourself down, you are distressing your Paizly.

[Taz_Zoee]

Slowly, slowly, and slowly. Slow this all the way down. Tell Bruce he runs the risk of ruining this introduction forever, if he can't slow it down. Your allegiance needs to be with your house kitty, not the kitten. The kitten will adapt.

Also- cats read us like books. Please calm yourself down, you are distressing your Paizly.

Actually Bruce is the one telling me it will all be okay. I just want to make sure he knows not to reprimand Paizly or intervene when she is hissing. I told him today on the phone and he understood.
I know I need to remain calm. It is becoming easier. At first I was just so upset for upsetting her. But I know she will come around. And I am making double sure that we spend our quality time with her. Thanks Cataholic.

[momoffuzzyfaces]

This reminds me of when I first became a multi-cat household. Way back then, I only had one cat called Lucy Jane. She looked lots like Grandma does today.

Then baby Leroy showed up outside my kitchen window. He decided he wanted to live with us. I said no. So, he would run around and around the outside of the house, all night long, yelling as loud as he could. After a few days of that, I gave in and brought him inside.

Lucy Jane, was not impressed at all!!! She didn't hiss at him, she hissed at ME!!! It was like: You did this! It's all your fault. Make him go away!!!

She was in a snit for weeks but finally got used to him. (and stopped hissing at me. until I brought Leonardo in of course)

[Taz_Zoee]

I know I keep saying the same thing, but this is breaking my heart. I want to cuddle and love on Paizly but she smells Jax on me and then hisses and runs away from me. I try to approach her for a pet and either she gets up and leaves or lets me get a few strokes then leaves.
I know it takes time and trust me, I'm not giving up. It's just so sad.

I didn't even get to do the towel scent transfer tonight because she hardly let me near her. I will have to try again another day.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Another question: How often should I reapply Feliway to Paizly's collar?

I've never done this before but I think that Catty1 was doing it 2 times a day. You may want to pm her about it.

I know I keep saying the same thing, but this is breaking my heart. I want to cuddle and love on Paizly but she smells Jax on me and then hisses and runs away from me. I try to approach her for a pet and either she gets up and leaves or lets me get a few strokes then leaves.
I know it takes time and trust me, I'm not giving up. It's just so sad.

I didn't even get to do the towel scent transfer tonight because she hardly let me near her. I will have to try again another day.

Just try to relax and give it more time. She's mad at you for bringing in this new addition but I know in time she'll forgive you and curiosity will get the best of her. She'll then start playing with Jax and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.

[Husky_mom]

try bribing her with her fave treats.. or tuna.. so she stays longer.. the longer she stays the more treats she gets... that way you can pet her and to the scent thing...