Paizly Problem is over, sorta! #66 pix too!

[Taz_Zoee]

I thought I'd start a new thread and not polute Jax's intro thread. I wanted a place that I could go with issues relating to Paizly on Jax's arrival.

So, she is a nervous wreck! She still comes to us for attention, but you can just feel the tension in her body. Then you'll be petting her and she'll suddenly turn around and hiss and/or growl at you (even Zoee).
Just now Paizly was at one end of the house with Bruce trying to pet her and I was at the other end of the house and he said she would flinch with every sound I made. She's afraid the little cat is going to be out.

She will try her hardest not to walk down the hall if the door is open to the room where he is, even if the gate is up. Which won't last long because he's already learned to climb one gate so I've been putting up two. He'll figure that out quick.

This is breaking my heart. I know I haven't given it a chance yet and I do not intend on giving up. But it's just so difficult. I just need to vent things sometimes.

I will take any advice anyone has as well. I might not be able to do all of it, but I'll take it. Otherwise, thanks for listening to me.

[Catty1]

Since Jax is comfy in his carrier, maybe put him in there a couple of times where Paizley can sniff and not see him moving around in 'her' space.

Aside from that, just the usual..isolation, switching blankets/sleeping items each cat uses with the other cat's so they get used to the scent.

It's only been a day or so...chin up!

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm sorry to hear that Paizly seems to be so stressed out. Have you ever tried using Feliway spray or diffuser? This may help a lot because it has a calming effect. She's also probably hissing at everyone because she's trying to let you know that she's upset with this new arrival. In my experience this has only lasted 3-5 days but I know that some cats take much longer to accept another cat. My RB Sunny would just try to ignore the newbie and he wanted me to baby him even more. All cats are different so please try not to stress out too much because your animals will pick up this stress from you and they'll also become stressed. I'm sure that things will eventually work out. Good luck.

[katladyd]

My Mac is very, very, Alpha Cat and when I brought Ming into the house, things were very dicey for awhile. Mac was about 5 years old then and Ming was about 3 months old. Mac would get extremely agressive whenever he saw, heard, or smelled, Ming. It was horrible! It took two months before I could even THINK of allowing them to meet in the same room, with Ming in a carrier. I never gave up, but it was very hard and I had to have a ton of patience. One day, Ming slipped out of the bedroom and ran into the living room, and Mac. They fought hard and furiously for about three minutes and then they had it settled. Mac was Top Cat and Ming was his minion. To this day, 7 years later, it is still that way. Today they were sleeping together on the bed. Yeah, it willl happen.

[Taz_Zoee]

Wow, thank you for the quick responses ladies.

I know I haven't given it ANY time yet. But I just hate seeing her this way. I asked Bruce if he thought she'd ever calm down and he said yes. So that made me feel better.
I will do the thing with exchanging their scents. Actually, Jax doesn't have a problem. I was holding him and Paizly was hissing at him and he only fluffed up his tail, he never hissed or growled back.
It will be hard to do the carrier in the room and Paizly to see/sniff around it. She'll just run off and go under the bed, chair or in the closet away from it. But I'll give it a try later in the week.
I do have feliway spray. I could try spraying that on her collar. Thanks for the idea Tracey.

I love hearing success stories on this subject. Mac and Ming's story really gives me hope. Since I've sorta been through this once with Taz (age 13) and Paizly (age 2 months). But Taz tolerated her. He'd hiss or growl a teeny bit, but nothing like Paizly is doing with Jax.

I know I need to just have patience and relax. And I will work on that.

Oh, I almost forgot one question, again. When she is hissing and growling at him what do we do? Do we just ignore it and let it happen, or do we talk soothingly to her to try to help her calm down? It's hard to sit there and watch her throw a hissy fit, but I have been doing a bit of both. Ignoring it and talking calmly to her.

[krazyaboutkatz]

In the past I've just tried to ignore it and let the cats work things out. Now if she attacked little Jax and was hurting him then I'd intervene but if they're just rough housing then I'd leave them alone. I'm pretty sure that she'll remain the alpha cat and Jax will learn the pecking order very quickly.

If he was more aggressive and alpha like then you'd really have problems but his personality sounds ideal for Paizly. I've also found that it takes females a bit longer to accept new additions and they're much more vocal about everything. My Pearl sure was and she and Ziggy will still sometimes get into growling/hissing matches but it amounts to nothing. It's just a sibling squabble and nothing more. Good luck.

[Freedom]

I've had it take as long as 3 weeks before being able to allow the newbie to roam freely.

Slow, slow, that's the key. Maybe have him out with you and put HER in that room he is in with the door closed, so she gets used to his scent, while he explores and learns places to hide and such. But give that a few more days before doing that.

[Taz_Zoee]

I can ignore it pretty easily, but Bruce is the one I need to train. But if I explain it to him he'll understand.

He is to darn small to let him roam the house anyway. I bought him a collar with a bell on it yesterday and he freaked out. I thought it was because he wanted to play with it, like he had toys that had bells. Well, I got a toy with a bell on it and he freaks out at that too and won't go near it. So he doesn't like bells. But I'll have to just get his name tag and a charm so I can hear the jingle of that. That's how Paizly's is because she kept losing her bells.

This morning Paizly seemed more relaxed. I did spray Feliway on her collar last night right after I posted here. She was wanting pets and even played for a bit. Funny thing is she goes to the dogs beds and rolls around on those to play. Never seen her do that before. Maybe because it's a familiar smell.

Thank you so much for the support! It really does help me.

[snakemama]

Sherpa flipped out like that when Charlie was hospitalized for a few days and then smelled wrong when she came home. Stroking one cat and then the other with a washcloth (So they smelled like each other) seemed to help him calm down.

[lvpets2002]

Time & Patience = Time & Patience

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Welcome to a major kitty temper tantrum! Paizly is hoping if she makes your life miserable enough, the little intruder will go away. Chester is like that. When he learned Winnie and Angel weren't going away, no matter how much he hid under the bed our growled and hissed at me, he got used to them.

Just give Paizly lots of pets and luvies and hang on.

[Taz_Zoee]

Sherpa flipped out like that when Charlie was hospitalized for a few days and then smelled wrong when she came home. Stroking one cat and then the other with a washcloth (So they smelled like each other) seemed to help him calm down.

Another good idea I can do! We often go to Paizly after petting Jax and that's when she either won't let us touch her or she hisses at us. But she's even hissed when I've washed my hands after touch Jax.
Ok, so tonight I will take the towel and pet Jax then go pet Paiz.

I seem to not have as much patience when it comes to upsetting my animals as I used to when I worked with kids. LOL But I know she will eventually be fine. And we are making sure to spend lots of time with Paizly so she doesn't feel left out. Last night while we were eating dinner she jumped up in Bruce's lap. Normally she knows she is not to go anywhere near the table top while we are eating. But Bruce let her stay since she was so stressed. He was done eating anyway.

That's what I'm thinking....once she realizes he's not going away she'll just have to deal with him. I didn't do that when G was here because I knew he wasn't staying forever.

I just talked to Bruce and he said "we can do this". Yes we can!! And by we I mean us and my PT family.

[MoonandBean]

We introduced Moon and Bean when Moon was 8 and Bean was 5 (I think). Moon had been an only child his whole life. Bean only knew other cats from his outdoor escapades. We kept them separated for 2 weeks. Moon still had the upstairs of the house and Bean got the finished basement (which he still owns, by the way... ). After 2 weeks we opened the door and Bean crept upstairs slower than any living thing I have ever seen. I think he moved a millimeter an hour...haha. When he got to the top step, he had his whole body on but not crossing the landing.

They have lived together for 2 years now and they certainly worked it out. Yours will too

[Taz_Zoee]

We introduced Moon and Bean when Moon was 8 and Bean was 5 (I think). Moon had been an only child his whole life. Bean only knew other cats from his outdoor escapades. We kept them separated for 2 weeks. Moon still had the upstairs of the house and Bean got the finished basement (which he still owns, by the way... ). After 2 weeks we opened the door and Bean crept upstairs slower than any living thing I have ever seen. I think he moved a millimeter an hour...haha. When he got to the top step, he had his whole body on but not crossing the landing.

They have lived together for 2 years now and they certainly worked it out. Yours will too

This is wonderful!! Thank you so much!

[MoonandBean]

And then, there was Bean's hissy fit when we got Sunny! You have to read this; it will make you laugh; and of course, I got great advice!!

http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=144136