Caring for Someone with Dementia

[Freedom]

This topic has come up a few times, from different PT'ers. I thought I would share two books which I have found helpful.

Learning to Speak Alzheimer's, by Joanne Koenig Coste, was recommended to me by the RI Alzheimer's Association. Thank GOODNESS! It has really be helpful in how to respond without creating an uproar, and it also has explained what to expect at the first meeting with the neurologist, which Dad had today.

The 36 Hour Day by Nancy Mace and Peter Rabins was suggested to me by my cousin. He was told to read it by the NH Alzheimer's Assoc, when his mom, my aunt, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's several years back. (She died of it, 2006.) Also very good guidance, things to think about, ways to improve safety in the home and so forth.

I got both out from my local library. Just thought I'd pass this along.

[Pam]

Thank you for the tips on the books. My mom is in a care facility so I don't have too many problems to handle on my own but I would definitely need the added knowledge/insights if she lived with me. I only see her once a week as she is 50 miles from me. Our visits are not as enjoyable as they were maybe a year or so ago, when she always knew who I was, but she does seem happy and I am able to get some laughs from her most days. When you have someone needing that kind of care and living right with you, you need all of the input from good sources that you can get.

[Freedom]

Pam, Learning to Speak Alzheimer's will give you ideas for how to communicate with her at each stage of the disease. Things to do, say, that will be pleasant for both of you.

[Catsnclay]

We have/read the 36 hour book and it has helped, but you have to rememeber that each person is different, and this is just a 'general' assesment.

Luckily my father is adjusting well to his new 'home'. Our problem is with my sister and his girlfriend!! Even though both know he has a problem,THEY are the ones who are having a hard time adjusting

Seems his wonderful girlfriend is going in and tellling hime that his daughter's are 'dead' and turning our pictures face down!! Telling him that we are 'evil' and 'out to get him", so now she will be banned from seeing him until she gets it together.

Ugh! Why does life have to be so hard??????????!!!!!!

[K9karen]

We have/read the 36 hour book and it has helped, but you have to rememeber that each person is different, and this is just a 'general' assesment.

Luckily my father is adjusting well to his new 'home'. Our problem is with my sister and his girlfriend!! Even though both know he has a problem,THEY are the ones who are having a hard time adjusting

Seems his wonderful girlfriend is going in and tellling hime that his daughter's are 'dead' and turning our pictures face down!! Telling him that we are 'evil' and 'out to get him", so now she will be banned from seeing him until she gets it together.

Ugh! Why does life have to be so hard??????????!!!!!!

That's frickin' awful! Nothing like trying to help someone who's probably terrified and confused, with horrible, sad and destructive things. Shame on them.

My fave aunt has last stage Alzheimers as does my *second* mom. My dad suffered from dementia before he died from rotten Parkinson's. It's just as scary and awful for the caretakers, but there is such a thing as understanding and compassion. Well, at least I have no regrets and can sleep at night. Can they? *Smacks them upside their collective heads*

[Catsnclay]

That's frickin' awful! Nothing like trying to help someone who's probably terrified and confused, with horrible, sad and destructive things. Shame on them.

Well, at least I have no regrets and can sleep at night. Can they? *Smacks them upside their collective heads*

Shame on them is right!! I sure do wish I could smack them up side their heads!!!

Tim tried talking to the girlfriend this weekend, and all she did was whine & complain, talking & talking, not hearing a word he was *tyring* to say!! He finally raised his voice (something he never does!) and said "OK this conversation is getting out of hand, please calm down and let me talk!"
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she hung up on him!
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I have never seen him so mad!! but at least he now knows how I felt when she hung up on me.


Now she is trying to play my sister against the both of us .

Life is so much fun lately. UGH!