Advice - I don't know how to handle this & prayers, please.

[CountryWolf07]

So, Mike told me that his brother is having surgery again on his cancer next Monday (Feb.4th) and I asked if it was serious or anything, and he said he didn't know. I personally think he's scared right now about it. He will not talk more about it with me, but just let me know what has been going on. I just wish he'd open up to me about it, with being together for a year now.. but I guess some people are that way... but anyways, Mike is leaving on that day also to go to California for work.. for a week, until Friday, I think. So he was going to come down this weekend, but instead, he let me know what was going on, of course, I am fine with it. I completely understand, but the thing is, I can't bring myself to "be OKAY" about it. I wish I could be there for him, but I can't be. I am stuck here in Columbus, and he's in Cleveland. Oh, the joys of long distance relationships (haha - that is sarcasm..) We are just doing fine, we both do not like being apart, though, so we both always talk about it to our friends. My friend told me that Mike was telling her & her boyfriend how much it sucked being away in Texas and he couldn't talk to me and all he really got to do was to say hi & bye, and that was about it.

GOSH! 4 more quarters then I will be finally a college graduate.

Also, I am wondering if you have tips and advice of how to support him during this time? I just don't know how to be there if I can't be THERE in Cleveland.. I know it seems silly to ask.. I don't know how to be a girlfriend, be that someone he can lean on to, but.. he knows that anyways... it's just hard.all I can do is to be there for him when we talk on-line, but that's all.

AND one last thing, please think & pray for Mike & his family, especially his brother who will be going through it again.

Thanks!

[lightsgo]

All you can do is be there for him, and chat with him online. How far is Columbus from Cleveland, can you go there for a visit give him moral support? If not, just be there online or by phone for him, and when he's ready to talk, he will. My hubby isn't the type to open up either, and when his mom got sick, I just was there for him, and listened when he did try and open up. My prayers are with you.

[Karen]

All you can do is email him, text him, just send him little messages reminding him he is loved. That's the most support anyone could be anyway. And if things get too overwhelming and he's not eating, order him his favorite pizza delivered long-distance!

[Felicia's Mom]

Mike's brother is in my prayers!

[M&M's Mommy]

Email this thread to him. Call him on the phone so you both can hear each other's voices. Send him a "care package".. in which you can put your pictures, a love letter to him to express your feeling of concerns, a CD to lift his mood, some cookies... These are just some example, of course you can put in there anything you want... The point is to let him know that you love him, and you do care so much about him.

It sucks being apart when you need each other close, but remember, Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great. -- Anonymous

[Lilith Cherry]

Lots of prayers and good thoughts for all of you, especially Mike's brother! Just be "there" for Mike whenever he may want to talk about it; I have a husband who finds it very hard to open up and share his feelings but he knows I am always there with lots of love and sympathy anyway. Good luck Rachel!

[NoahsMommy]

I would stress honesty and communication. Don't pressure him to open up to you, that's something HE needs to do in HIS time. Any pressure or guilt on your part will make this scary time for him and his family MUCH worse. Him not opening up to you does NOT mean that you don't have a good relationship, this is how HE deals with things like this. <---You really need to take this to heart.

I would just let him know that you are here for him, in any possible way. That you are here if he needs to talk, yell, cry, or just talk about a subject so far away from his brother possible, etc. Just knowing you are there and care unconditionally, is what he needs. Tell him that he doesn't need to worry about you at this time, he is free to spend his time, emotions, strength, energy on his brother and his family. That when things get better, you'll still be there too.

Put yourself in his shoes and I don't think you'll go wrong at all.

I'm sorry his brother has cancer. I hope and pray the surgery is very, very successful and that he feels lots better because of it. I'll keep you and his family in my prayers.

Hugs,
Kelly