Need some advice ASAP!

[racing_gurl07]

Ok so heres the deal....

My ex's(we broke up in feb..we went out for 4 years) new girlfriend added me on myspace, she asked who i was and all that and i told her. and i said that i wasnt going to sit here and bash him, she just asked about me. she seemed really friendly. Then in the next message i read from her she said "jason told me i have to delete you" (jason and i hate eachother theres a reason behindthat ill get to in a bit) then she said "if theres anything i need to know about him email me at my address"

SO i dont know what to do....Jason was abusive towards me for 4 years, calling me names, not letting me talk to anyone, or go see my friends, saying the same thing he siad to his gf now , that she can add me on myspace. He was also physically abusive to me, he would beat me if i wouldnt do anything wtih him at the time he wanted it. this went on for 4 years. I didnt know at the time it was abuse because i thought i loved him.

but i guess the point im trying to get at is...should i tell his gf now what happened to me? to warn her? to give her signs to look for because the way it sounds hes turning into the same "bad gay" i dated. but like i said i dont want this to turn into drama, she just added me on myspace and i didnt think anything of it, i wasnt planning on telling her until she told me to tell her anything she needs to know. I just want her to be save, yes i dontknow her but no one should be abused!

and oh...just to let everyone know there is a restraning order on Jason so dont worry we dont talk anymore.

please help!!!

[Queen of Poop]

I'd say tell her. She asked. And it sounds like the controlling has already started. She needs to run for the hills!

[CountryWolf07]

I would say, LET HER KNOW!

NO ONE deserves to be in the same situation you were once into, and you're out of it.. which is a great thing! So, warn her.

[jadams007]

definitely tell her

[joycenalex]

tell her. tell your friends, tell her friends and if he ever contacts you, tell the cops and the DA fast

[pitc9]

She needs to know!

[Karen]

Do tell her what happened, so she doesn't dismiss any abuse as "oh, I must have done something to deserve that." Include that you wish her happiness, and hope he has changed but don't bank on it. and she should be aware to be safe.

[jackie]

You are with someone new, you are having a baby soon, it is nothing to do with you.

If she messages you again, tell her to speak to her boyfriend.

[lbaker]

I like Karens advise telling her you hope (for her sake) that he has changed but also tell her you do have a restraining order on him and perhaps she should ask him what caused the courts to grant it. If she wants details she can ask. Wouldn't details be available in public court records if she wants to look into it? I wouldn't get into too many details, maintain your dignity. I too have been there and understand the mindset abuse can cause

[Taz_Zoee]

This line: she said "if theres anything i need to know about him email me at my address" makes me feel that she may already have suspicions and wants to know how it was with you. Otherwise, why would she say that?

Although, this could become stressful for you and you don't need that so close to the end of your pregnancy.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

[BitsyNaceyDog]

I think you should stay out of it. You don't know what your ex will do if he finds out you have been in further contact with her. You have a baby due out soon and she needs to be your main concern. For the girls sake I hope he has changed though it isn't likely. Anything you tell her probably won't be of any surprise to her anyway, so keeping yourself distanced is probably best for both you and your baby.

[Catty1]

Ask a counsellor or the police, maybe...

ETA: Two thoughts - if you were in her shoes, and got the full story, what would you do?

I think she should have the facts (even just the fact of the restraining charge is enough) ONLY if she has a plan to LEAVE. Otherwise, she will be in MAJOR doo-doo, and you might be in danger as well.

JMO

[Cataholic]

You would risk anything at this point? WHY can't you just focus on you and the baby? WHY???

When I was days away from delivering, I wanted nothing but positive in my life. Calm, peace, finish up the chores, etc.

Just walk away from all this. Please.

[Lori Jordan]

I would say something.

It is really scary the way things work in the world we live in today,This past year there has been 3 women in my area that have been killed by there husbands and boyfriends.

If he put his hands on you nothing will change,And she probably has been in the same situation you have been in,Or she would not if made that remark...

It could get worse,If he can raise his hand to strike a woman im sure he is capable of much more.We would never think it but there is so many relationships these days ending in death and the other one in jail.

But after if you do tell her,and she still stays with him,Wash your hands.
You have warned her and she has to make that decision not you.

Dont let yourself get stressed over this,You need to be number one in your life,Not an ex's girlfriends problem...

StressFree is where you need to be right now!

[jackie]

If he put his hands on you nothing will change,And she probably has been in the same situation you have been in,Or she would not if made that remark...

Sorry, don't agree with the comment that if he did it once he will do it again.

I have been in a very abusive relationship, ending in a restraining order and sentencing for him. Did he do it before, I don't think so. Do I think he would do it again, nope.

Different place different person, different time.

I still think you should keep focused on you and your child, move on.