Advice...

[CagneyDog]

-sigh- I don’t really even know where to start with this one. But this guy I know has literally changed my life. I’ve never felt this way about someone before in my life. I literally wait all night just to see him sign onto MSN. I sleep beside the computer just to here it beep if he happens to talk to me once I’ve gone to bed. I’ve fallen so fast and for someone that I’ll totally never be able to have. We’re just friends, nothing more. Why do I feel this way about him :-( My marks have been going down in school just because I spend 99% of my time thinking of him. I don’t even know what the point of this is, I guess I just want to date him so badly but I can’t, and I know I can’t. What if he’s the one for me though? I know that it’s bad for me to fall so fast, and rely so much on one person. I’d literally do anything to be with him and that’s not healthy…beh. –sigh- I can't deal with it anymore. I can't get this kid out of my mind. Can someone please talk some sense into me. Tell me that this is just another teenage crush and he's not "the one". I'll feel this way about others in the future...right?

[Logan]

Please be patient. I'm an old woman by your standards, probably, but you need to let things happen on their own. Perhaps appearing to anxious could be a turn off to him if he is the one. I will admit, though, that about 4 1/2 years ago, I got an email that changed my life. And yes, I was watching for an email or a phone call, constantly!!! And I was almost 40 years old!!!! I didn't exactly play "hard to get", but I did step back and let him take the lead. We will celebrate our 4th anniversary on Dec. 21.

Hang in there, keep your grades up, get your sleep, and try not to sit there and wait on him. If he's the one, he'll find you, I promise!!!

[Cataholic]

Who knows if it is just a teenaged crush. No one does. BUT, if it is, and even if it is not, life must move forward. You can't stop living your life, as it sounds like you are doing right now. I had a great theology teacher tell me this: God probably does have ONE perfect person for us, one that is just toooo perfect in all ways, just for us. The kicker is, the next ten most perfect people for us are out there, too! And, we wouldn't even recognize the difference in their perfections. So, even if he is **the one**, there are other **ones** out there for you, too.

Don't dispair. Get moving, interested, etc. If nothing else, it makes the waiting easier.

[jackmilliesmom]

I noticed that you are talking about him and to him on MSN - have you met him if not he could be just telling you what you want to hear so please be careful and take your time. But if you know him and he and you connect on a different level to others if he is "THE ONE" he will make the right move at the right time - be patient. My grandmother believes that if it is meant for you it will come to you if it is not then you will see that even if at the time it hurts soooo much you feel like someone has snapped you in two.

I have been there and bought the t-shirt and thought my world would end when my last boyfriend just upped and moved away and left me I was living with him but I came home and found my husband just under a year later and what a man to find he is so loving and caring and treats me like I am his world and universe and beyond - much better than my world ending previous boyfriend - everything and more than what he could ever have been.

[caseysmom]

Well I can say the wise advice but those feeling may prevail! Your education will be around most likely long after this guy is. Please concentrate on your education and if he is the one he won't care if you have fallen asleep, he will wait until tomorrow.

[BC_MoM]

Learn from my mistakes - let NO ONE get in the way of your education. Time to snap out of it, girl! Even if it is true love, is it worth ruining your education?

Focus on what's important right now - love can wait! If he's the one, he probably will.

[Karen]

Okay, take a deep breath - now focus!

You need, need, need to get your grades back up. If it helps, write this guy a letter - pen and paper kind, and in it say everything you'd want to say, then DON'T mail it! Sit on it, stash it away, and if you find yourself thinking about him instead of schoolwork, reread it, adding anything necessary, then move on.

A friend of mine ended up having to pay an extra year (thousands) of college tuition and redo and entire year of school because of a similar situation - don't let that happen to you!

[catnapper]

It sounds like you already realize this is a problem.

Why can't you be anything more than friends? Is he just some guy you met in a chat room and will never meet in real life? Then get over him quickly before you ruin your life over some dream!

One thing I learned very quickly while doing the internet dating thing years ago, is reality is not even close to what they present themselves online. I met this guy online many years ago, oh wow could he make my heart melt. He knew what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. He wrote me poems and told me how great I was. I couldn't wait to meet him in person!!! I waited til we talked daily for a few months before I agreed to meet him. And wow, what a let-down! We still talked occasionally after we met but the "spark" wasn't there. He was certainly a great guy, but I felt like such a fool for letting myself believe in the story he was presenting me and the Mr. Perfect I made him into. Was he a great guy in person? Certainly! Some girl is very lucky to have him (I'm sure he's found someone by now) but he just was not for me. I'm glad I met him when I did because it could have gone on for many more months, and by the time I met him I could have been ready to marry him sight unseen (not really, but you get my point)

Then after I met that guy, I spoke to another one for while before I met him. He was very different from the first guy - educated (not that guy #1 was dumb, just no formal education and this guy had advanced degrees) and confident. In person he was cocky and looked down on anyone not as sophisticated and educated as he (then why date me, an artist?)

Then I met another guy who seemed all too perfect for me! This one was athletic and loved his dog. We agreed to meet at a dog park (oh, this had to be "The one!") After a few months of speaking nightly online and the phone, I loaded Nicki into the car and we went to the COOLEST dog park. I couldn't wait to leave the park and that weirdo fast enough!

Notice a theme here? I was sooo excited to meet these guys that beforehand seemed wonderful and perfect. The reality was vastly different.

I DID meet my husband online, but that was after meeting those 3 guys I was taking things a whole lot less seriously and was looking at online dating as a dress rehearsal for the real thing.

[Alysser]

The same exact thing happened to me, except it wasn't as serious and my grades didn't fail because of him, but it DID happen to me. It happened last year, he never had feelings for me though, we were only "hi" and "bye" type of "friends", I don't even know if you could call us friends. I never talked to him online either but I wanted him so bad. This year someone blabbed to him I liked him and that ended badly. He said "ewwww" and started spreading rumors about me. They ended 2 days later but I still liked him. I like him STILL a little but I'm starting to get over him because I now like someone else.

You NEED to get your grades up quickly. Karen's idea is definately a good one, get your feelings out about how much you like him. Good luck!

[caseysmom]

and that ended badly. He said "ewwww" and started spreading rumors about me.

Okay what a creep! You are definetely better off without him, but you probably already know that.

[I_luv_rusty]

Try to focus more on your grades cagney and once your done with homework or anything you need to do then go online. Set a certain time to get off, I doubt he'd be coming on after 10 or 11 PM.

[Catty1]

This is obsession, not love.

You're hooked on anything to do with him like a drug. It's all a crutch.

Quit cold turkey and get on with YOUR life. Cause you know what?

All your obsessing in the world will not make him love you.

It will scare the heck out of him, if he has any brains at all.