A request to parents

[Marigold2]

Dear Neighbors,
I have just returned from working 10 hours at the Dr’s office answering 150 phone calls. I have dealt with everything from eye cancer to contact lens, glaucoma to glasses, your senile mother with macular degeneration to the four year old who screamed when drops were put into his eyes. I am tired and hungry.
I still have to make dinner and do a load of laundry, plus take care of my fur babies, spend time with my daughter and husband and say hello via phone or e-mail to my three boys. Tomorrow will be another long day.
I have put dinner in the oven, fed and watered the pets, started the wash. It is now 8pm and I am taking my decaf coffee outside to sit on my swing and enjoy the flowers I spent months planting, weeding and growing.
And then here come your kids…………………..
They are cutting across my lawn, front and back. Yelling, screaming, fighting and the girls are screeching so loud my ears are actually ringing. Shut up shut up shut up I want to yell at the kids but of course that would be rude. You the parents seem to be already deaf or are able to turn out the incredible screeching that only a seven year old gaggle of girls can produce. I am near tears. I just want a few quite moments that’s all. That can’t be too much to ask………………
I heard noise all day, answered so many phone calls, listened to so many problems, questions such as, I had surgery Sat can I wash my hair, can I fly, bowl, swim?
Why won’t my insurance pay this bill? I didn’t bring my checkbook, I can’t pay for this. I want to see the Dr. NOW. I have lost sight in my right eye two days ago, should I make an appointment? Yes you should, unless you want to be blind for life I want to say but don’t.
And there I sit on my swing; cup in hand and the screeching begins with the girls trying to out do each other. The boys are yelling and mom and dad, well I just don’t know what the hell is up with them. They have either tuned the whole thing out; become deaf or just don’t care.
I have actually thought about taping the noise and going up to the neighbors and making them listen to it. I just don’t understand, either way my evening is ruined. I have to go inside and close my windows, can’t hear the TV above the screaming and now have to turn the air on.
I raised three kids. My oldest Slacker was hyperactive. I understand that kids are not going to be quite BUT at the same time parents need to teach their kids that yelling, screeching, cutting through people’s lawn is not allowed.
Just a nice evening sitting and relaxing, listening to the birds and wildlife, smelling my roses is that too much to ask? I just hate living in a development. Hate it. I would prefer living next to a field. I really think it is time to move. But on the other hand, why should I have too?

[Whisk_Luva]

Sorry you are having such a stressful time Monica

I don't have any solutions to offer, so I will just send you lots of ((Hugs))

[Cataholic]

Maybe you could try the tactics you use on here? Honesty with little tack?

"Your kid is bothering me. Please tell them to shut the hell up."

[caseysmom]

Sounds like your in the wrong line of work (working with people) and in the wrong neighborhood (near people).

[pomtzu]

Oh my...........

[Karen]

I don't think she's in the wrong line of work, caseysmom, I just think she had a bad day. It happens to everyone.

Marigold, please talk with your neighbors. Explain that you don't want to be a "grumpy old lady" but that they are yelling so loud that it really does hurt your ears. Explain that the loudest yells should only be used for real danger, as of now, someone could be trying to abduct their kid and no one would react because they yell so much all the time!

Explain that you don't want to call the police or anything, but they really are disturbing the peace, and if they could just tone it down a few decibels after 6 p.m. (or whatever time you usually get home), you would truly appreciate it. Sometimes a simple conversation is all it takes.

Then, if nothing changes, you could try talking to the kids, if you are up to it, maybe while holding a kitty that would be amenable to being petted and fussed over, and that might work.

It is worth a shot, after all!

[catnapper]

I sooo understand your frustration. We had to put up a fence to avoid people walking through our yard. That's what sidewalks are for!

We have neighbor's dogs who potty on our yard. Nursing home employees smoking on our sidewalk. The WEIRD nieghbor kid who stands on our lawn and talks to tools (YES, TOOLS.... hammers, screw drivers, etc.... creepy little kid). McDonald's cups and wrappers all over our lawn.

I tell you my neighborly woes, not to outdo yours, but to show you how much I understand. I want to throw poop on the doggy's home. I want to throw up on the people who smoke and make me, well, throw up. I want to call the nuthouse to take care of that weird child (I bet you we'll be seeing him on the news in about 15 years for some creepy stalking issue). I want to scream at Micky D's to provide a trash can on my property

But we were raised to be polite and deal with it. Because if we actually said something to our neighbors, we'd be the ones with an attitude problem.

[chocolatepuppy]

I work in a noisy factory all day long. Some days, when I get home and take my dogs out, the neighbor ties his dog out and and it barks non stop!!! Not the way I want to spend my home time. Some days it bothers me more than others. I can see where you're coming from Monica.

[snakemama]

How frustrating. You are nicer than I am....but I genuinely dislike kids!

I've found a sound machine to be a very worthwhile investment since my new next-door neighbor's kids like to play soccer and my bedroom window is in exactly the wrong place. -_- A little white noise in the evenings is quite soothing, and drowns out a lot of the screeching.

[Sirrahsim]

wow. Heaven forbid happy children run outside and play and holler when mandated quiet hours are not in effect. Perhaps we parents of youngsters should shut them up in the house and give them each a video game to keep them quiet and docile (and fat). There is a reason that volume levels are referred to as "indoor" voice and "outdoor" voices. Griping about children playing outside is completely ridiculous and as a mother I am ridiculously offended that you would be offended.
Put up a fence and earplugs if you don't want to hear children play.
*rant over*

[Lilith Cherry]

The sound of happy children playing noisy outdoor games should not be offensive to anyoneSorry you had a bad day Marigold but please try to see the other point of view ( as in Sirrahsim's post) as well as your own. Relax and let the sounds be a part of life or go for walk somewhere quiet instead maybe?

[pomtzu]

wow. Heaven forbid happy children run outside and play and holler when mandated quiet hours are not in effect. Perhaps we parents of youngsters should shut them up in the house and give them each a video game to keep them quiet and docile (and fat). There is a reason that volume levels are referred to as "indoor" voice and "outdoor" voices. Griping about children playing outside is completely ridiculous and as a mother I am ridiculously offended that you would be offended.
Put up a fence and earplugs if you don't want to hear children play.
*rant over*

I couldn't agree more.........

I imagine the parents of the kids who live in "developments" (in the form of a high rise) in the dirty and dangerous cities, would give anything to live in a "development" of nice houses and well manicured lawns, and the sound of noisy and screeching kids. No - the kids they hear screaming and screeching all too often, are the ones who are victims of violence, or a drive by shooting, and many other things too horrific to even mention. You made your decision to live in a cushy environment of nice homes and yuppies with young children, then you need to accept the life style that comes with it. If you can't be part of it, or don't wish to be, then yes, you do need to move to somewhere, where your neighbors are empty fields and the wildlife that wanders thru the area.

[moosmom]

I'm sorry, but aren't there any noise ordinances in your area? I lived above a guy who was a drunk, who played the same old vinyl album of "Together Forever" by Perry Como. His living room was directly under my bedroom. After a while, I called the cops. They heard it from 3 blocks away.

I moved out shortly after that. The apartment was perfect for one person and cats (it had an enclosed porch). But the a-hole downstairs ruined it for me.

Apartment living is difficult. Sometimes ya just gotta ignore it.

[Catlady711]

I am unfortunate enough to be surrounded by 4 houses of screaming, tresspassing kids like those, (that moved in after I was already here). I can TOTALLY empathize with your day and wanting peace when you got home. My neighbors are so bad that when the kids finally get too loud even to them, they scream obsenities out their windows back at the children to shut up. Then we wonder where they learned to scream in the first place.

I solved the tresspassing (which included digging holes in my back yard, ripping a shrub of mine in half with their bare hands, shooting my songbirds, and shooting the veggies in my garden with BB guns) by calling the cops repeatedly for tresspassing and destruction of propery, and often including video or pictures of them doing it (since the parents would often say 'my kid couldnt have done that). While the parents think I'm 'mean' and 'picking on their children' for not letting their kids use my yard like their own personal playground, I no longer have much problem with the tresspassing.

That said I felt the need to comment on a couple things in particular.

What ya gonna do? Kids will scream in pools and that is life, they have short memories, five minutes later it continues to eye splitting levels. Show me a kid that doens't scream in a pool and I will be shocked.

I was raised not to scream unless I was hurt or someone was trying to take me. My mom always emphasized that if I were to scream all the time she'd never know when I was actually in trouble. I also spent alot of time at my grandparents trailer at the lake. I was explicity told that there was to be NO screaming near the water unless I was drowning or in trouble otherwise people would never know the difference. Not that I never talked loud or was in a fit of laughter with my friends, but I was raise that you NEVER scream unless you are hurt, or in trouble. Failure to follow that rule resulted in one warning only, if it was repeated then I had to go in for the remainder of the day and be quiet.

Perhaps we parents of youngsters should shut them up in the house and give them each a video game to keep them quiet and docile (and fat). Put up a fence and earplugs if you don't want to hear children play.
*rant over*

go for walk somewhere quiet instead maybe?

Rather than shut the kids up with a video game, why not take the time to actually play and interact with them and teach them the difference between 'outdoor voices' and screaming? Why should one be forced to wear earplugs in one's own house because parents haven't taught their children the difference between 'outdoor voices' and 'screaming'? Why should a person be forced the expense of putting up a fence because parents haven't taught their children that tresspassing is not only rude but ILLEGAL? Why should a person have to go somewhere other than their own home to have quiet time? Why can't the kids go to a local playground if they want to be loud, that's what those are for?

I'm always amazed when I go by a park how FEW children are actually there, and even fewer parents with them.

Hummm, interesting thread. I have a 3.5 year old, and I have taught her to be loud outside only. When we are inside and around other people, in stores, in a restaurant, at the mall, etc. she is not allowed to scream, screech, or be excessively loud. And she knows that when she has freedom outside she can be as loud as she likes. That is what the great outdoors is for.

I would hope that you either don't have any close neighbors, or that your child's version of being loud outside doesn't include screaming. Otherwise in giving your child her 'freedom', you are taking away the freedom of your close neighbors to have quiet in their own home. And if your child typically screams outdoors, how is anyone to know when she is actually hurt or in trouble?

The sounds of happy children playing and the sound of kids screaming are two different things.

AMEN!!

[momcat]

Marigold, I understand exactly what you're saying and I couldn't agree more. There are kids next door to us that scream and or cry constantly. We're on the first floor of a rowhouse and our upstairs neighbors moved a few months ago. These brats keep running up the stairs yelling and screaming the whole time. The parents play the radio so loud at night you'd swear it was in our place. The police have been called several times, things change for a day or two then the noise level goes off the chart again. Ours always was a quiet neighborhood, the other kids on the street play outside and have a great time without excessive screaming. They don't have to shatter everyone's eardrums to have fun or let off steam.