Downright rude threads!

[cyber-sibes]

What's with the total lack of sensitivity and good manners lately? Are some PT members so bored and disappointed with their own lives they want to spread their misery around by being rude & thoughtless towards other PTers? I just read through two more threads that turned argumentative and nasty. One was directed at a relative newcomer because the post was "in the wrong place". Come on, is that such an offense that it warrants a snippy reply?

I get annoyed at how often people cross the line towards someone, often the poster, and threads turn nasty. My solution is to not read it anymore, but I am concerned that this lack of decency by a few will drive people away who could be a wonderful part of this group. I grew up with "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all", and it's still darn good advice. Being coarse, insulting, insinuating, and superior says more about the person posting than anyone else. What do they think it shows, that they are clever? smarter than the other guy? Cooler? It shows just how little, mean-spirited, and shallow they are. The rash of tit-for-tat one-liners that follow just add fuel to the fire. In the end, no one benefits.

No point to this post, I know I'm not the only one here who feels this way. But I refuse to post this on any of those threads, because I'd rather they just die out asap. Thanks for letting me rant about it here.

[angelbow20]

I agree 100% with you!!! Im almost afraid to put a thread up to tell you the truth im afraid certain people are going to go off on me or something. I dont feel anyone should say anything rude in anyway, people post things for answers not or to say what they believe not to be yelled at or anything.

[JenBKR]

Thank you for posting this. It has also been bothering me. I just don't understand the total disrespect for other people. I know the threads you are talking about, and I just don't understand how people get SO rude. Hopefully posters will read this and decide to change their ways.

[Argranade]

Yes it should stop,PT has a rude side but we don't want new commers too see this because PT is a great loving site right? and we want to be able to have new members join with out being scared to post or complain about this site.

Sometimes we need to let it all out but somtimes im sure we can hold it in.

[iamgobsmacked]

I was raised to believe that when someone insults you without merit, smile and thank them for bringing your shortcomings to your attention. When someone is outright rude, ignore them, without food they cannot continue. Even miserable people cannot get satisfaction by trying to bring you down to their level if you refuse to fall for it. Ignoring someone who is rude is the best punishment of all.

There is a saying, "If you want to prove you are intelligent, think of something nasty or stupid to say. "Then don't say it."

All his spirit is what a foolish man lets out. The wise man has his spirit under control.

[moosmom]

AMEN Cyber-sibes!!!

I have always given people the benefit of the doubt. I have also tried to treat people the way I would like to be treated, with respect. I have seen SO much disrespect and rudeness towards certain PTers on this board by others, who have not yet experienced all that life has to offer, if you know what I'm talking about. It makes me ill. If my daughter EVER spoke to any elder the way certain members speak to us, the OLDER generation, she'd have been grounded.

I also realize that everyone has their good and bad days, God only knows I'm guilty as well. But some members just seem to be rude and disrespectful ALL THE TIME!! It saddens me.

And you're right, it's so petty, some of the stuff being argued about. Don't apologize for ranting here. That's what we're here for, to listen and learn. I only wish some members would do just that, LISTEN AND LEARN!

JMO.

[CathyBogart]

Hey, I know I've had my days, particularly in the last two months, so if I've offended anyone I'm sorry! I try to re-read all of my posts before they go up, but sometimes I just don't catch myself.

[JenBKR]

Hey, I know I've had my days, particularly in the last two months, so if I've offended anyone I'm sorry! I try to re-read all of my posts before they go up, but sometimes I just don't catch myself.

I think we all do that - it's human nature! Everyone has a bad day, or moment, or post, but some people seem to be constant about it. I'm *pretty* sure I know the offenders, and it's not you, so don't worry!

[sasvermont]

I get so anoyed with rude posts. I don't know the ages of these folks doing the nasty posting, but I suspect the ages are all over the place, not just young or old.

Maybe these people don't have a good command of the English language and resort to obnoxious, ill-bred methods of communication.

I will confess to a few short comments, since being here for a few years....but in general, I would like to believe I have given many an honest and colorful response - sometimes direct, but I have not wanted to be hurtful.

I just PM'ed one person, asking why she is being so mean to people. I doubt if I will get a response.

Some folks are just miserable most of the time. I am miserable just a little bit of the time. Most days are happy ones for me and I hope that comes through in my posts!

PT is a wonderful place to spend time and I hope that for the newcomers, topics like this will keep them looking and posting. It is sooooo typical of a forum to have its ups and downs. We have mostly UPS!

(((((((((((((((((Pet Talk)))))))))))))))))

[critter crazy]

This is mostly the reason why I dont post very much anymore. The thought of having to deal with rudeness, or just defend myself is rediculous! I try my best to be as nice as I can, And I dont think I have ever been rude to anyone. If I have I greatly appologize. I Dont reply to most threads much either, because people just are too defensive of someoes Opinions. It is very hurtful. I would love to post more, without the fear of being torn apart. Cyber-Sibes you have said everything, that i have been wanting to for a while. I just wish I could say it as well as you have!

[trayi52]

I know exactly what you mean. Had that experience just recently with the last thread I recently put up! It really offended me! Wow! Say something nice for Gods sake!

Willie

[sasvermont]

I once had a job where I was dealing with 40 secretaries and paralegals. I was new to the job. I was hired to put out "employment fires" and to convert their antiquated accounting software.

The first meeting I had with the 40 folks was interesting. I handed out forms/ questionnaires, and asked that they fill in honest responses to my questions about how they thought people spent their time on the job and recommendations for improvements. The forms were not to be signed, although names of other employees could be used within the form. I told them that the forms would never be shown to anyone - for my eyes only. I didn't really know anyone, so it was a real eye-opener for me. I was amazed at the comments about fellow employees. I worked there almost 10 years and you know what, most of the comments were accurate. I never showed the forms to anyone. I kept my promise.

So.....maybe Karen would like some confidential emails or Pm's, with everyone's idea about who is doing the most damage here, and who should be called on the carpet.

Just an idea.

[CathyBogart]

I just thought I'd add that I was really nervous about putting up my "wish me luck" thread, but so far I've gotten the nicest responses. In general, PT rocks.

[moosmom]

SAS,

Great idea.

[luvofallhorses]

I hear ya. I try not to be rude to anyone and try to be as nice as possible. so can't we all please get along ?! this place isn't the same as it used to be. I am so sick of the bickering and being rude to others. we are like a family and we should treat each and everyone of our fellow pt'ers with respect. of course everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I just hope the nastiness stops.