I have cancer....the road to recovery

[slick]

I want to take this moment to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Your love and prayers are everything I need right now. So many of you have sent email, ecards, and I've received cards in the mail. I owe you all an email back and will try to get at that tonight. Right now, I'm not doing so well.

Last night was not a good night for me. All of a sudden, this "thing" hit me like a ton of bricks and I sobbed my heart out for hours. I really don't know where it came from....I was blindsided. I'm still not feeling as strong as before and I really need to give myself a slap on the rear and tell myself to smarten up.

I'm at home today waiting on some furniture delivery. I'm supposed to be laying low in preparation for the scan tomorrow but as I look around, there is so much to be done. My brother is coming here on Friday night and will stay overnight. I have a few things around here that I want him to fix on Saturday before he goes home to Calgary.

A potential housecleaner is coming over tonight for an interview. I spoke to her at length on the phone and I really feel in my heart that she will work out OK. By the way....her name is Laurie... She loves cats and is anxious to meet Max.

So there you have it. Again, please forgive me for not responding to all of you individually. When I settle down tonight, I'll get right to it.

xoxoxoxoxo

[Catty1]

Hey - how about changing the "everybody's Last choice" to "My First Choice"?

Feed yourself all the positive stuff you can!

HUGS

C

[gini]

Dear friend, I was wondering when this would come..........and as painful as it is for you, I am glad that it has arrived.

I cannot think of anything more normal than you having all of the possible emotions to deal with this.

Anger
Fear
Dread
Self pity
and on and on

Cry - go ahead and have a good long cry - or two - or three. No, you don't deserve to have this - and why DO YOU have cancer? There are no easy answers - so we rummage around in our heads and bang against the walls of our brain.

If you didn't come to this point, I think I would have been more worried.

For thousands of reasons, you are well loved here at Pet Talk - and individually as friends.

I am here for you - all of us are here for you - none of us will let you down.

I will try to call you this evening.

xxoo me

[momoffuzzyfaces]

There was a book out several years ago by a woman fighting cancer. I can't remember her name for the life of me but the book is called:
First you Cry.

That's been my experience when anyone I know has cancer. I know when dad was diagnosed, I expected him to keel over any second. So, you cry. Then you realize as long as there is life, there is hope. You know that, ok, I have a disease that can be very very bad but it can also be cured. Then you start fighting back. We are going to be right here fighting with you. I fully expect you to kick that cancer's butt so bad it will never even consider coming back.

So cry when you need to. You need to get that out.
Know we are here and we love you and prayer is the most powerful force in the universe. I know for a fact, heaven's prayer lines are glowing from the heat of all the calls they are receiving on your behalf.

Remember: we are all here for you.
TONS OF LUVIES

[Killearn Kitties]

Aww, that bit had to come at some point, I suppose. Don't you worry about replying to anything, just you take care of yourself and just take all the hugs heading your way!

Good luck for tomorrow.

[jenluckenbach]

Slick, I too was waiting for reality to sink in. SURE, your head is strong, you know you can and WILL fight this.......but your heart must sink at some point. Wondering WHY? HOW? that's OK. it is normal. And here is where we all get to help you some. We can be your strength whenever you feel too weak.

We love you Slick....have you figured that out yet?

[lbaker]

When you can't even see your own footsteps, it's because we are all there carrying you, dear person, dearer friend and sister I never I had but do now

[dukedogsmom]

I'm so glad I stopped by. I'm sure it's totally normal how you're feeling. Just don't let it get you down forever. I think you're doing so good! And I'm glad you told us how you were feeling. We can be stronger for you when you cannot. Keep your chin up and good luck tomorrow! I'm glad you've found a good person to clean your house. Don't work too much tonight. You need your rest.

[kuhio98]

slick ~ It will be okay. You just needed to get your emotions out. I also wondered when it would "hit". Not that you were in denial, 'cuz you weren't. But, the enormous reality of it takes time to sink in. Then, you put it into perspective. It's not bigger than you. You can handle it. It will not control you. You are a fighter. We will be here for you. You're not going through it alone. It sucks! You don't "deserve" it. No one does.

Okay, deep cleansing breath. Big bear hug. Better now?

Until the next time you need to cry. Go ahead. It will wash your fears away.

[RedHedd]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SLICK}}}}}}}}}}}}} Yup it hits us all at different stages in the process and you're right on track on your path. Go ahead and cry, girl. And if/when the anger hits a punching bag is good or go somewhere where you can yell and scream - driving in the car alone was good for me. But don't try and drive and cry - been there, done that .... not a good thing

Just before I was diagnosed I had taken a women's self-defense course - one of those model-mugging things where you learn street-wise self-defense. Shortly thereafter I was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer and soon after my diagnosis I had a dream - in the dream I was beating the C**p out of my cancer - kicking and hitting and screaming and really giving my cancer everything I had learned in that course. That dream carried me through my cancer ordeal - through all the scans, surgeries, and doctors appointments, I just keep visualizing myself kicking the s**t out of my tumors.

I don't know if my visualizations worked or the treatments or a combination of both - it sure was cathartic for me to do all I could from MY end of the picture. I still hold the visual of that dream in my heart and use it from time to time when life gets difficult.

Be gentle with yourself. Let us carry you cuz that's what we're all here for.

[pnance]

Slick don't worry, crying is a way to let go and believe it or not relax. If you keep everything bottled up it will only get worse and not help yourself at all. You have lot's of people who care for you and sounds like a good support team there. It's ok to cry once in awhile and remember you have your friends and family who are there with a strong shoulder to lean on. In my entire life my mom was always strong, I never saw her break down or cry. She was diagnosed with breast cancer almost 15 years ago That was the first and last time I actually saw her shaken. Bottom line she drew strength from friends and family and has been cancer free for all these years. I have no doubt you have the strength and will to make it through this time and look forward to the future. Take care of yourself and don't worry about what needs to be done around the house, you'll have plenty of time to take of that once your well again.

[anna_66]

Slick I know I haven't been around much, but your in my prayers every day.
Lots of (((hugs)))

[Corinna]

Hug I too send good thoughts seeing you get to the first steps. Just don't do what i did I started pounding the shower walls . Bruised my hands really good and cracked the wall. Crying isA BETTER WAY.

[wolflady]

Oh slick, I was thinking that this would happen sometime. Sometimes you just need to have a good long cry and let it all out. You usually feel better in the end. I'm so glad that your brother is coming and that you've looked into a housekeeper. Please know that you continue to be in my prayers too.

**hugs**

[zippy-kat]

I haven't posted much but that doesn't mean I haven't thought about you every second of every day. I continually pray and send healing thoughts your way.

{hugs}