My family has a lot of problems - I've raised 4 stepdaughters after their mother left them. 3 of them have psychological problems, and I've made every mistake in the book. My siblings and parents (and myself?) also have had some problems.

It does sound like your brother has psychological problems - big time. So I hope you will take my 2 cents.

Go through the motions of doing what is right, no matter how you feel. Send him cards on his birthday. Send him invitations to important events. Treat him politely. Go through the motions of doing what a sister would do if she and her brother had a normal relationship. But don't put your heart in it. Don't expect birthday cards and invitations in return. Don't expect love. Just know that you're doing what is right.

Don't try to get him to open up - he's not ready for that. He would feel too much pain if he did that. Let him do the corporate voice thing, and don't act like it bothers you.

Don't put your heart into it. Love is an action, not a feeling.

If, eventually, he resolves whatever problem he is having, then hopefully he will be able to come to you. He won't be able to do that if he feels you have abandoned him. If you act like he acts, then he will have an excuse for his behavior and he'll be able to justify himself by blaming everything on you.

As for the Christmas thing - I'd have your dad to your house for Christmas, like always. Send your brother an invitation, anticipating that he won't come. If he does come (which is unlikely), go through the motions and don't let on that he's hurting you by not responding.

Just my 2 cents.