oh Amy - that really is hard isnt' it We took my Niki right home with us - we had the neighbors backhoe in the yard and she was burried the very minute we got home! Fred carved her name in the tree right where she was burried and I kept her "snyd" (snydly whiplash - the squeek - one of her fav. toys) and her collar and they are in with me - she is right outside our bedroom window!
I'll share something with you - before we went to take Nik to the vet's - I closed my eyes and said "God - You gave her to me and I loved her sooooo much! Thank You - now I know, that You are callling her back home and I need to let go of her so that she can enjoy heaven and not worry about me!" It was so funny cause when she died - I KNEW she was going to heaven and I'd see her again! That is what keeps me from getting upset about it - I figure if I keep dwelling on her - she can't enjoy her rewards! Hope that makes sense - but it has worked so well for me -
I still see Niki's wrinkled up head in my mind - she looked so cuddly lying on that table - and as she looked up at me for the last time, she struggled up long enough to give me such a sweet kiss on my lips - my husband couldn't believe that she did that - the meds were already working and it must have been so hard for her to lift up her upper body- she was almost 200 lbs. - I know she loved me as much as I loved her! There will never bes another Niki!