Kim, I'm so sorry to hear that you've so become emotionally drained. This happens to the best of us in stressful situations. Please don't blame yourself for wanting to care for so many cats. You're a great cat meowmie and a role model for the rest of us here at Pet Talk. I'm so glad that you have such a caring vet to help you in your time of need. Please take care of yourself. Prayers are on the way for you, your family, and the entire herd. {{{HUGS}}}