I was going to suggest you plant a tree of the same variety in your home but then I had a thought....

You could turn Fister into a money maker....

Why spend money on a shreading machine???(this will be very popular with accounting firms, oil companies, etc.) Let Fister turn your documents -- and furniture -- into unrecognizable bits. You could also market this talent to wives who want an excuse to buy new furniture! And that nasty job of removing wallpaper?? DONE!

Don't waste money on a breadmaking machine! Fister can do the kneading for you!

Goose down? What about those cold, cold geese? Fister, once again, has the solution. Cat fur duvets!

I think we're getting a plan going here........