Dearest Lulu, you are absolutely gorgeous! What a stunning Blue and Gold Macaw you are, full of brilliant colors and markings. And what a terrifilc story you have to tell! You were dumped off at the door of an animal shelter, where you were taken in by just the right people who knew how to care for you and train you! What a funny story of how they'd sometimes give you french fries, and before you started in on them you'd ask "Is it good?" You've since added to your vocabulary, making really odd squealing noises when you're happy. You also enjoy butt-rubs and bobbing your head up and down a lot. Now you've all been together for some seven years, and you and Harley the macaw are best friends! You all love each other very much, don't you. What a wonderful love-filled home you share!
Congratulations, darling Lulu, on being chosen Pet of the Day! We hope you and your dear Harley and people and all your family and friends are enjoying a fine celebration, full of fun and lovies and all your favorite games and treats, with a special serving of Cheetos!
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery
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