Dear Gatsby, what a handsome tuxedo man you are. You are so incredibly fluffy, and your whiskers are the longest ones I've ever seen.
I will never understand how anybody could abandon their pet and leave them to die. You are one of the lucky ones to be rescued and to find your forever family.
I'm glad that you have a kitty friend since you are not very fond of your doggie brother. You are also a very busy kitty with a laundry fetish.
Gatsby, you are one fabulous feline, and you deserve a great celebration with your family. Maybe you can ask for a water fountain since you are fascinated by running water.