I too lost my beloved friend, Rusty, to cancer (intestinal). We had an extra six months because of his meds and special diet and I feel very fortunate and grateful for that time. His right leg gave out, was completely limp, and I knew then that he had crossed the threshold from being comfortable to suffering. I let him go Christmas Eve, he died in my arms at the vet's office. I was hoping he could die peacefully at home but he had suddenly gone beyond his condition. What I'm saying is I can relate to your pain, but I wish I could say we got an extra four years instead of six months. You are so fortunate you got so much "extra" time with your friend! You took excellent care of her, what more can you do? It was time to say goodbye...that time inevitably comes... Oh, the heartache...I can't help you with that, I too feel it. The day goes fine and then all of a sudden, out of the blue, I think of him and I feel like I got kicked in the stomach. We all know the pain. I'm so sorry you're going through it though. She was such a special member of your family. I believe Sydney and Rusty are playing together, waiting for us...one fine day we'll see them again. I'm sure of it. I just know it in my "knower'!!!