The vet wouldn't let me hold Gennie either at the end, and she was so sick of needles and vets that they had to hold her down too. That's what hurts, cuz I'd already made arrangements for a vet that makes housecalls to come to our home when it was time, but that vet was on vacation when Gennie got so bad. While the vet was administering the shot, I had my face pressed to Gennie's neck and was whispering to her how much I loved her and always would. I was supporting her head with my hands and when I felt her go limp I knew she was gone. I wanted to have her pass away at home, because she didn't need the stress of another trip to the vet. Also (it seems a only a little bit weird in retrospect), if she passed away at home, I was hoping that her spirit would visit me from time to time.

Something that helped me at the time and still does when I feel lonesome for Genevieve is to sit by her grave (in our back yard) and talk to her about anything at all, and tell her once again how much I always loved her and always will, and that she will always be missed. Even a simple thing like that helps. Tell Casey that it hurts not to have been able to hold him when he went. Tell him that you miss him every night and all day long. And be sure to let yourself cry, for heaven's sake! A couple of times I went for a car ride in the country all by myself so I could sob and wail like a banshee with grief. I would have panicked my husband if I'd acted like that around him, but sometimes you need to let it out.

Be GLAD you can feel so deeply about other living creatures, and be PROUD that Casey had such a love-filled and happy life with you.

The grief will diminish little by little, and soon you'll be able to remember him without so much pain.

I hope this feeble advice helps. Please let your Pet Talk friends know how things are going for you. In memory of Casey,

Sincerely, Kay