What to do about a crazy inlaw?

[catnapper]

Thanks Donna. You should have seen Ashley's fiance's reaction.... explosion! I knew I adored this boy! He even came into my work to day to talk about it! He is furious with cindy and said there's absolutely NO WAY Ashley's mom is invited.

[sana]

EEssshh!!!! I am so angry, even reading this makes me angry! I am already in a bad mood, you s-i-l (sis in law and sickheaded in law is better ) Can't she keep her thoughts to herself, tell Ashley that, if she doesn't care about her mom, then why invite her, try telling her that it will anger her father and that it is better she spends a good time at her wedding instead of worrying about what her ex-mom could say or do something to her, she could disturb her by saying somethings she could get upset about, she could do something like, if the ex-mom got angry, if she saw Ash's dad, or remembered the past, she could go over and do something bad to Ashley, like maybe spoil her dress, or embarrass her. Ashley could get upset about the wedding day if ex-momma did something bad, if Ashley thinks she'll do nothing wrong, tell her not to keep her hopes high about the wedding day then, it can turn out topsy-turvy, it could make you angry too, try convincing her about NOT calling her. About you son...I can't say anything, because what I'd do, would not be expected to be done by other moms. I'd fry him up and eat him! I'd explain him what he should do like stay away from these type of people and if he doesn't, I'd officially, and tell everybody in my family in front of him, that I do NOT accept him as my son and that he should find his own living and that he does not belong to me. He'd probably come back and say sorry, it isn't common in my family that children go away from home after becoming old, they live with their mom and dads even after the marriage. The in laws are usually very nice. This usually happens where I live. The children usually respect and obey their parents.

[moosmom]

Kim,

I'm glad he saw through this. Hopefully he'll put his foot down and Ashley will listen to him.

[Laura's Babies]

So many people use money to control other people... It is a control issue with that SIL.. NOTHING is free....everything has a price tage attached... even "free money"...

[NicoleLJ]

This is how Dougs mom is. She will do one thing for him in a year or two and even after he pays her back 3 times over it is still held over his head. Owe Me types drive me nuts. I really don't have much advice other then for you to put up healthy boundaries and teach your children that when some one gives them a gift(unless stated as a loan, or a contract to be paid back) that they owe that person nothing. A gift is suppose to have no strings attached. Also explain to them about boundaries and Owe Me types. That no matter what they do they will never be done oweing them in that persons mind.

This is her day to be celebrated with the people who have supported her in getting to this point in life. That simple.

I can see why you would rather have the SIL out of your life. Since we changed our number and stopped going to darts(so no more contact) we finally have no more drama going on. We haven't smiled or laughed this much in a long time. I pray that you can get to the same kind of peace concerning her.

[Husky_mom]

while it´s pretty maddening.. I bet Ashley n fiancée will manage accordingly.. by NOT listening to her.. what a nutjob..

[Taz_Zoee]

My father is the type to hold things over our heads when we were growing up. I stopped that when I went out and bought a car all on my own. He was mad at me for not asking him for help. Nope, this is MY car.
He's not as bad anymore, and I think it's because we don't let him get away with it. Plus the fact that all three kids hardly ever talk to him about anything unless we absolutely have to.
Maybe if people stop letting her get away with this she will ease up?? Then again, maybe not.