cheating

[blue]

Holy smokes, I agree with you on something! Never thought I'd see the day...

[Marigold2]

Thanks guys for your support, it means a lot. When we love someone dearly we carry their pain with us in our hearts as well. I of course worry about them now, where once was a happy marriage is now a dreadful painful mess.
I just needed to share my feelings with my friends here. I needed a shoulder I guess and I did get that along with a couple of kicks but I guess that is the risk you take when you open your heart up.

[Queen of Poop]

Marigold, I still stand by my previous comment, I applaud you for being a friend to these people.

For the record, I am seeing a professional psychologist for help with what has been done to me over the last 8 years. She is a wonderful, caring, compassionate woman who I believe will help me survive and thrive. Her biggest thing for me, find more friends, build a better support system. Have others to be with, to care about, who will care about me and help me build back my confidence that has been so shattered. Friends she says will help me get back to me faster.

Marigold, I wish you were closer cause I'd truly want you to be one of my friends.

I need friends to help me thru this. Any takers?

[Marigold2]

Well I would be honored to be your friend. I posted on the other tread before reading this. I will PM you.

[Whisk_Luva]

I need friends to help me thru this. Any takers?

If you ever want a friend I am here

[Karen]

Marigold, I still stand by my previous comment, I applaud you for being a friend to these people.

For the record, I am seeing a professional psychologist for help with what has been done to me over the last 8 years. She is a wonderful, caring, compassionate woman who I believe will help me survive and thrive. Her biggest thing for me, find more friends, build a better support system. Have others to be with, to care about, who will care about me and help me build back my confidence that has been so shattered. Friends she says will help me get back to me faster.

Marigold, I wish you were closer cause I'd truly want you to be one of my friends.

I need friends to help me thru this. Any takers?

Of course you can count on me to be a friend. We needn't be geographically close to count, do we?

[pomtzu]

Selective reading always changes the way people see things.

I was talking "professional" help forMARRIAGE issues - not for every little problem that pops up in your life. I believe that was the problem that was originally addressed, wasn't it???? When did it change???

Anyway - have valuable and trusted friends to talk things over with, to ask opinions and advice, and all the other things mentioned here - just not marriage. Marriage advice was the only thing that I was referencinng!!!!!!!!!

[Catty1]

Gayle - yes! Let's meet up again. If you need a Sunday break, there are lovely red shale paths here to walk by the Bow River...and a couple of funky coffee/lunch places!

Call when you want to come out!

[NicoleLJ]

Add me too. I may be 3 hours away but at some point I should hit Calgary and would love to meet up.

And sorry but I totally diagree, Pom. If it was not for Candaces suport and marrital advice then I would not have had the strength when I needed it or any clue as to what to do because as my therapist said I was in survival thinking. That is why they tell you to get a healthy support system of friends and family. Sorry I will listen to the proffessional on this one when it comes to leaning on your friends no matter what the issue.

[Asiel]

Selective reading always changes the way people see things.

I was talking "professional" help forMARRIAGE issues - not for every little problem that pops up in your life. I believe that was the problem that was originally addressed, wasn't it???? When did it change???

Anyway - have valuable and trusted friends to talk things over with, to ask opinions and advice, and all the other things mentioned here - just not marriage. Marriage advice was the only thing that I was referencinng!!!!!!!!!

Just finished reading the whole thread and I think I'll have to stick with you on this one. I've seen too many so called "friends" drool at the mouth by listening to another person's woes on marital problems and of course they are always so full of advice. My friends know they can count on me for any kind of problem they might be facing but marital problems is not one of them. I've seen tis kind of stuff lead to disastrous results, Marriage is a private issue between a couple and if problems arise they should seek counselling together. The last thing a couple in trouble needs is a third party relishing the details . As for coming on a dog forum and discussing private issues because you think someone might be a great friend I would bare my soul to the devil first.
Marigold, you go on and on about all the love you have for this young couple...does this poor couple even know you are using their story on a dog forum? If you spread the story here why would we think you won't be talking to others as well? This lady confided in you in private and I'm sure she didn't expect her story to be read by hundreds or more on a dog forum and who knows where else? How would you know if someone who also knows this couple isn't on the forum and will recognize them, your own neighbour could be on the forum and you would never know it.
Not long ago you were ready to put your own child (veggie salad you called it) away and not have anything to do with it but now your heart bleeds for strangers? Seems the priorities are mixed up a bit. I would prefer to give my compassion to my children (veggie salads or not) .

[carole]

Maybe Marigold needed some support and advice herself, or just some comforting words, so that is why she shared it with us all, i don't see any harm done, she has not mentioned names here, and the chances they are going to see it are not that high are they? and maybe they would not even mind, only Marigold and they can answer that question i guess?

I don't see that marriage problems necessarily need professional advice more than any other problem, gosh if every time my husband and I did not see eye to eye we went for professional help, they sure would be making some good money out of us,money we don't have,not everyone can afford such a luxury for one thing.

I actually did seek professional help once in our marriage and it was a disaster, so you really do have to get the right person,so IMO professional help is not always the best thing.

We have weathered the storms and we are still together after 19 yrs coming up in August, not that affairs or abuse have been something we have had to deal with thank goodness.

I am not saying you should not seek professional advice, but sometimes it is not the only thing that can help and sometimes it can do the opposite ,create more problems than were initially there in the first place.

I have never seen the thread regarding Marigold going to send her children away, so i can not comment, i can only say, each circumstance is different .,i am sure she has just as much compassion for her own as her friends, some people can do both,anyhow just my 2 cents worth.

P.S. Gayle i too would be more than honoured to be considered your friend as well, even though i live across the other side of the world.