The frustrations of needy, clingy men!!

**moosmom** · 02-28-2009, 10:03 AM

Go with your gut instincts. If you don't feel good about it, and you're obviously seeing red flags, DON'T GO!!!!

Better to be safe than sorry.

**pomtzu** · 02-28-2009, 10:34 AM

Ditto on Donna's post. And tell him you're still sick and don't want to give him or his nieces anything contagious - especially in his weakened state of health!

And then maybe gradually ease out of your association with him if he makes you uncomfortable.

He might be harmless, but you never know. Go with your instincts!

**Catty1** · 02-28-2009, 10:55 AM

The saying on one of my internet dating profiles is: "When on a pedestal, watch for pigeons!"

This guy needs a social life - and it has to include more than one person.

If you are feeling sick, tell him. Cancel. And I hope you have call display so you don't answer all his calls. (If you don't you can pick up a cheap one at a dollar or electronics store).

Also - and this is drastic - you may want to report his behaviour to whatever Facebook moderator there is. He may just need a sharp reminder that his behavior is harrassment verging on stalking.

Delete him from your Facebook account. Block and delete everything you can. If you want to first send him a message about how uncomfy you are because he calls too much or whatever, do that.

Ask your work assistant what to say. She'll have something good!

**jennielynn1970** · 02-28-2009, 11:03 AM

I did cancel for today. Part of me sees an ex-boyfriend's behavior in him. If he's like this and we haven't even met, what would he be like if we dated??? Possessive?? Abusive?? I don't want to ever be in that situation again.

Ugh. He seemed normal. For a while. I know he needs to get out. He needs to do more things and be more social. I know he hasn't been able to the past few months because of the surgery he had and the open wound he has healing from the ulcer. He just got so clingy so fast! He's a big guy too, 6'3" and muscular, so strength is on his side as well. It just scares me when I see this kind of emotional reaction from a guy like that.

As for my assistant, she said she thinks he's a good guy! She says "Awe Jenn, he really likes you." Um... what, for dinner??

**Karen** · 02-28-2009, 12:18 PM

Glad you cancelled for today. I would go with your gut, but maybe he's just anxious to meet you which is why he's been so clingy? At least wait until you feel better, then go from there. Have you mentioned his clinginess to him? Maybe he thinks that's what women want?

**jennielynn1970** · 02-28-2009, 12:29 PM

I've mentioned it to him now a few times. He doesn't see it, which is a bit disconcerting. He sees himself as being caring and romantic.

**kokopup** · 02-28-2009, 01:15 PM

Being caring and romantic is one thing but if his clinging is from insecurity then that is quite another. Insecure men tend to be abusive and demanding as time goes on.

If you decide to meet him having his nieces there is a good thing. Make
your initial meeting the type that would be of a short duration such as
coffee at Starbucks. If all is ok on this initial meeting then you can plan a
meeting of a longer duration.

You should tread carefully, It is one thing to date someone with a handicap that they handle well and another to becoming a crutch that they need to have around.

**lvpets2002** · 03-02-2009, 01:44 PM

Good Girl for Canceling.. This is why my door stays closed more than open (if you know what I mean).. I am so with what Donna said.. Go by your gutt feeling & if its not right then Dump the Dude & dont look back..

Originally Posted by jenn_librarian

I did cancel for today. Part of me sees an ex-boyfriend's behavior in him. If he's like this and we haven't even met, what would he be like if we dated??? Possessive?? Abusive?? I don't want to ever be in that situation again.

Ugh. He seemed normal. For a while. I know he needs to get out. He needs to do more things and be more social. I know he hasn't been able to the past few months because of the surgery he had and the open wound he has healing from the ulcer. He just got so clingy so fast! He's a big guy too, 6'3" and muscular, so strength is on his side as well. It just scares me when I see this kind of emotional reaction from a guy like that.

As for my assistant, she said she thinks he's a good guy! She says "Awe Jenn, he really likes you." Um... what, for dinner??