Jennie, I am so sorry. Please don't consider this as something you're doing wrong and make yourself feel worse.
I think you're at a point in your life where it's time for a change. There's something in your former situation that's paralyzing you. Making you freeze up at the thought of going back into it. Like Reggie said, "You're feeling like a fish out of water emotionally". You may be at a turning point. Things will eventually fall into place.

It sounds like you may need more time off to get focused and into the right direction. Don't feel bad about needing more time. You have to take care of yourself. You are number one!!!

Relax and feel better. Please PM me anytime.

Terry
{{{{{HUGS}}}}} We can give you a PT virtual group hug.