Hang in there Moesha, I know it is so hard sometimes and having to keep a wound open would gross almost anyone out. Your doing such a fantastic job with little miss Aroara. There have been times where I have had to deal with similar stuff that completely grossed me out. Have you told the vet that you are having difficulty and asking them if there is anyother way you could do something different? I dont know. Hang in there! My thoughts and prayers are with you!