I'm not really sure how to go about this.

The past week I have done exactly what I KNOW I shouldn't have -- this whole thing has been consuming me.

The part that gets me is that he has changed, so dramatically. Like I said, I've known him for over a year, and I have seen the changes within him since then.

I know his mom well. She is an amazing person, as is his aunt, stepdad, etc. I've met quite a few of his family members; his wonderful cousin Jessie, his uncle, his aunts and his friends. His mom has taken me under her wing. She calls me quite a bit to check up on me and let me know what's going on. Maybe she's the reason I can't quit let go. Yet.

It's hard to explain how I feel about this whole situation. You have to understand that you guys are only hearing the bad end of this story. No one hears the good side; the time we spent together, the doctors appointments I went to with him for his knee surgery, etc.

I guess what I'm asking for here is some understanding. People change. I know he screwed up, majorly. That was many years ago. My best friend's dad beat his wife repeatedly when we were kids. He went to jail for a while, and has been living a happy life since then. He is a completely different person. You'd never guess he went to jail for domestic violence.

I just want some closure, if anything. I want to seriously sit down and talk to him and know exactly what's going on. Maybe he'll lie, maybe he won't. Maybe I'm in denial by thinking he won't. Fact of the matter is, he was with his last girlfriend for 3 years before they broke up. Long story short, he proposed and she got cold feet and backed out. I've met her. She's beautiful and a very nice person. She had nothing bad to say.

I don't know what kind of response I'm going to get from this post. Hopefully a little understanding. This is closure for me. I will not date him again. Never. Maybe we can maintain a friendship. I just want him to get on with his life and I want to get on with my own.

Comments?