Need some advice ASAP!

[Catty1]

Ask a counsellor or the police, maybe...

ETA: Two thoughts - if you were in her shoes, and got the full story, what would you do?

I think she should have the facts (even just the fact of the restraining charge is enough) ONLY if she has a plan to LEAVE. Otherwise, she will be in MAJOR doo-doo, and you might be in danger as well.

JMO

[Cataholic]

You would risk anything at this point? WHY can't you just focus on you and the baby? WHY???

When I was days away from delivering, I wanted nothing but positive in my life. Calm, peace, finish up the chores, etc.

Just walk away from all this. Please.

[Lori Jordan]

I would say something.

It is really scary the way things work in the world we live in today,This past year there has been 3 women in my area that have been killed by there husbands and boyfriends.

If he put his hands on you nothing will change,And she probably has been in the same situation you have been in,Or she would not if made that remark...

It could get worse,If he can raise his hand to strike a woman im sure he is capable of much more.We would never think it but there is so many relationships these days ending in death and the other one in jail.

But after if you do tell her,and she still stays with him,Wash your hands.
You have warned her and she has to make that decision not you.

Dont let yourself get stressed over this,You need to be number one in your life,Not an ex's girlfriends problem...

StressFree is where you need to be right now!

[jackie]

If he put his hands on you nothing will change,And she probably has been in the same situation you have been in,Or she would not if made that remark...

Sorry, don't agree with the comment that if he did it once he will do it again.

I have been in a very abusive relationship, ending in a restraining order and sentencing for him. Did he do it before, I don't think so. Do I think he would do it again, nope.

Different place different person, different time.

I still think you should keep focused on you and your child, move on.

[Rachel]

I'm in the camp that feels you need to stay as far away from anything to do with him and anyone else he is involved with as you possibly can.

There is someone else who is your priority to protect now. This person (GF) is an adult who has other people in her life with whom to consult on what's going on in her life. Personally I don't think you should even know who his current girlfriend is!!! You aren't the one to protect others from Jason.

Just my humble opinion.

[Medusa]

Having been there, I can speak w/authority on this subject. Abusers DO NOT change except to get better at what they do. If you think you're the first person this guy was abusive to, forget it. And if you think you'll be the last, you can forget that, too. It takes YEARS of counseling to get an abuser to even admit what s/he's done. You can tell this girl if you like but it's doubtful that it will do any good. She'll more than likely say that you're just a jealous ex who wants to trash him. Denial is such a potent force. You say that you didn't know he was abusive "because you loved him". Come on. We know when we're being abused and we know when we should get out but for whatever reason/s, we just don't do it. She knows already that something isn't right w/him or she wouldn't have asked that you tell her if there's anything she should know. When you're in the first blush of love, you don't suspect your partner of anything negative. You're out, THANK GOODNESS, now stay out. Block her on My Space, be sure that he follows the restraining order, and get on w/your life. DO NOT make excuses for him or anyone else who thinks they have the right to say or do anything that's hurtful to you. WE ALWAYS KNOW when we're being abused but fear or pride or finances or a host of other reasons keeps us from getting out. You're one of the lucky ones because you got out. Now stay out and don't get sucked back into any kind of drama. It isn't worth your life and/or sanity and self respect.

[catnapper]

Let me ask you this: If someone told you 4 years ago, would you have done anything about it? would you have denied it? Would you have said, "He's such a sweetie, its just that he works so hard and he's so tired..." Or would you have broke up with him and set yourself free from years of emotional and physical abuse?

Being free of the situation enables you to see things with a clarity you never noticed before. Thing is you have to be free of a situation to notice. I often said Ashley was emotionally abused by Cam's father; all the things we told her about him was said to unhearing ears. Now that she's away from him she's constantly complaining of everything we told her about him.

You can't give the truth to someone who doesn't want to hear it. If she's looking for the truth to confirm her suspicions, email her politely and tell her that you have nothing to say in writing, that if she wants to meet and discuss things you are willing to do so. and if you meet, make it a business-like meeting where you tell her the facts as they occur, like a timeline. But never ever put all that in writing because he might find it and she could misinterpret what you're saying. Nothing is like facing another woman when you're telling her to watch out for herself.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

What puzzles me is why she added you in the first place